More about how we began and what brought me to this side of the DOM sub fence …. I suppose that as far as most ‘lifestylers’ go we kind of came about this a bit backwards.
As I mentioned in part 1, the thing that brought us to this idea of D/s was the fact that we were looking to add to and enhance our sex life. It really wasn’t any more then that originally and I suppose if I am honest what we work at really isn’t more than that now.
The reason I say this is because ALL the other stuff that makes the dynamic more than your normal vanilla relationship was already in place for us. What others refer to as vanilla, I refer to as a non relationship. I simply would not be in a relationship that was not filled with honesty, care, communication, respect, commitment, love and with my best friend.
Right now when I talk about and post about D/s most things I am trying to work on or fit in are sex and BDSM related and in a way that really has become the ‘priority’ and focus. The fact is however that if ALL other things were not already in place this dynamic would not be happening, the BDSM and D/s sex would not be something on the radar. I would never consider this with someone I didn’t trust with my life, all of my life.
Right now with life being busy, and kids at home and responsibilities coming out our ears, schedules and protocols and such can be difficult to maintain. I’ve contemplated the idea that you can’t be as serious or as into it simply because the structure is not quite so strict and I believe this to be incorrect.
Think about it, on Tuesdays let’s say I am to walk around in the buff and clean the family room as well as make dinner and serve it to my Master while he eats and enjoys ‘the view’. After which I am to ask Him if I may be of ‘service’ and you can take it from there …. fantastic, except there are two teens at home so that simply won’t do, you can repeat the whole thing with clothes on instead but one of the boys has a performance of some sort and then the evening has gone from scheduled M/s to ‘get some takeout and find something nice to wear we need to go out’.
Now you could say, no problem you catch up the next day and carry on with rituals and routines from there … well the problem is that in a home with children and family that is not aware of dynamics and just things and people happening all the time this type of ‘interruption’ to your daily scheduled program happens often. Too often to be playing catch up because you never will …
The rules are simple and meaningful, the protocols in place are usually quick and never not done, they mean something and can all be fit in no matter how busy or crazy life can get. Schedules … lol, well as we are flying around by the seat of our pants in this crazy wonderful life schedules tend to be made up as we go along depending on work load and priority.
The fact is and always has been that He has my back no matter what or where and I will love, honour and respect no matter what or where …. and if there is anything in question I go to Him and He has final say, period. He never sets aside His commitment to me and I never set aside my commitment to Him. We never needed advice on how to be together, we just wanted to learn how to kink it up!
Please keep that in mind when reading these few posts, I say sex was the priority because it was the only piece left to place …. we didn’t start off in the bedroom and tried to work our way out, we started off in life and worked it into the bedroom.
A bit backwards from most stories I hear out there, most seem to be hoping it will turn into a commitment and others are married couples trying to fix a marriage, but all I wanted was the sex. I’m not saying that’s what anyone should be looking for in the beginning or that it should be the priority in general, but we already have a happy, healthy and strong relationship …. we just wanted our dessert!
Love You Always Sir! ❤