Evolution

i have 15 to 20 well deserved stripes on my backside.

Over the years i think that we have moved from kinky, to D/s, to M/s and all along there has been a strong undertone of DD.

It makes sense really, they are all related (whether or not folks want to admit it)!

I think we have fallen into a truly comfortable harmony right now and I can’t wait to see where the journey takes us next.

As our kinks evolve, so too does our relationship and our dynamic.

Happy wicked Wednesday! *wink*

Sub Drop

These past weeks I have been lucky enough to have most of the day to myself. In these hours I have chosen to work on my active submission.

I’ve done things to enhance my mindset and have done things that I know enhance His. It has really been great, we are both (i think) very much engaged in the dominant/submissive vibe and comfortable doing so.

Today however, i have to work all day and so the kink and BDSM is on hold.

I can feel myself slipping into sub drop, the scattered, anxious energy of trying to figure out what to do next. It’s like having no direction …. It is uncomfortable and stressful.

This is what D/s takes away for me. This is why our dynamic works well, but it does have consequences sometimes. Like ‘sub drop’ when you aren’t prepared for the change of energy dictated by ‘life’!

I haven’t experienced anything like this in years …. fortunately i know just what to do about it, just as soon as He gets home. ❤

Happy Monday! 🙂

Ouch!

I’ve been in a lot of pain for a very long time. Today however, the pain is when i sit – and due to other issues all together!! *raspberries*

It has reminded me of the importance of proper skin care as well! Dry skin can lead to paddle rash, a thing i assure you, you don’t want!

I’m pretty well covered in bruises, something i don’t normally have. When we take the time to warm up slowly the bruises are on the inside (deep tissue) not outside but with little time and much enthusiasm … oh well! *wink*

I’m not sure if it was all too fast, or if i’m just dealing with too much other stuff right now but i don’t seem to have gotten the normal ‘floaty’ calm that usually accompanies some play. *shrug*

Just musing ….

Happy Monday! ❤

Beats me …. ??

One thing I have learned from going through the process of trying to figure out our ‘dynamic’ is that the sooner you stop trying to label it and fit in, the faster you find your groove and have a chance at being happy!

If I was just starting out and looking for a partner specific to BDSM I suppose it would be a bit different but I can’t see myself ever doing that anyway. (Not that I am in the market for anything!! just musing.) Bear and I fell into this lifestyle, we didn’t set out to ‘be’ anything.

He was kinky from the beginning, He just didn’t know it! *wink* Heck, i was too, i just didn’t have a name for it! The first half of our life together saw a few kinky times but mostly just regular everyday life, especially after the kids came around. Sleep was not a thing i knew and i swear just thinking about touching me would send secret signals through the air to wake the kids!!! I’m not even kidding here …. *ugh*

It was 8 years before i was able to start sleeping through the night and have both energy and appetite for something ‘more’.  I also went off birth control and started the beginnings of peri-menopause (pretty sure). The words ‘randy teenager’ come to mind!! *chuckle* Poor Bear really didn’t know what happened …. 😉

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Our relationship has been a progression. For the sake of some clarity I’ll say that we started off pretty primal in nature. Biting and scratching and just raw energy was the main way of being together. Again, we didn’t label it but the animal in both of us was usually the main event!

After using some of the energy up i started to switch over to CNC. I didn’t say it at the time but the dialogue in my head was normally in that direction. It makes sense really, it does tend to lend itself to many of the same actions in a primal joining. What it did do however was tap into the submissive part of the equation.

It wasn’t too long after that when the energy became more ‘slave’ like for me but we found it a bit to one sided. It didn’t give the Bear the responses He needed and so it fizzled out. It wasn’t until we explored and added masochism to the mix that it became more exciting, for us.

As of now, we both enjoy the s&m aspects of our relationship but unfortunately we don’t get to play as hard as we would like. A side note, s&m for us doesn’t need to involve sex. For me at least, it’s another level of trust but also relaxation! I would caution however that there is a fine line between healthy s&m and self harm. Some may not agree but that is both my opinion and experience.

Now – i’ve gotten my mind on another branch entirely so i think i will end this post here.

Our evolution has continued and maybe i’ll be able to get back to this train of thought later! Happy Thursday all! ❤

 

Writing on my blog or, why i haven’t!

I’ll be honest, sometimes i really just have nothing left to say here, that was the case for a short while. Lately however (since January) i haven’t really written much because i haven’t had the time!

I started working again full time and so my days are busy and spoken for. After hours i normally have a lot of time, we tend to stay around the house even without Covid! The trouble is that i haven’t got the time – alone!

When Bear is home my attentions are always on Him first. I just can’t seem to take myself away to go and write. It’s not that He has ever denied me the time or space, it’s just ME! I can’t do it ….

I know, i’m a hopeless case! *raspberries*

Once school is back in i’m hoping to get back at it in earnest. My days should slow down once more and both writing and working out are on the agenda. They help me physically but also mentally!

Any ideas on topics???

Be well ❤

Asking is not demanding; teasing is encouraged!

He likes it when I come on to Him, in a certain way of course, not demanding but more like ‘needing’.

He always has.

He likes it when i tease Him, within reason of course or He puts His big ‘ole bear paw down! *raspberries*

He always has.

He likes it when i’m naughty, not bad naughty but in a sexual way. *wink*

He always has.

If I want more fun in this dynamic and more “Him” the way i crave – i simply need to get out of my own way! *wink*

He likes a sexy, confident, determined submissive who knows her own mind and needs. I just need to remember to show them!

Asking is NOT demanding; teasing is very much welcomed …..

It binds us.

We’ve started adding more play (kink) to our lives again and we’ve even managed to add some impact!

Recently we got to play with the floggers, as well as some new toys that we had decided to order in the spring!

He remembered to add some bondage … for my sake mostly. It helps with my mental space, quiets things in my head. He likes it too, i’m sure of that, but with the lack of opportunity lately (years) it can be easy to just ‘skip ahead’ and forget to add all the layers that really do make it something even more special to experience. For us anyway …

We are taking a chance i know, with the youngest still at home and well, stuck! It’s not like there is anywhere to go right now with everyone cautious over Covid 19. So far i haven’t noticed any changes in him or his mental health so we move forward and cross our fingers! Our play used to be a bit of a trigger for his anxiety, not that we make it a ‘thing’ but at 18 i’m sure he can guess some of the things he overhears from time to time!

What i do notice – still notice – is that when we get to play i miss Him more when He is not here. It binds us …

 

It somehow mimics the energy and feelings one gets when you are in a new relationship. He is constantly hovering in my mind.

Happy hump day! ❤ *smiles*

 

Still kickin’

I’m still here, still kickin’ around as they say! Things are busy with home life but all in all things are okay.

Kink and D/s is good although a bit less than what i would like, but – what else is new?? *chuckle* Kinky sex is good and it helps to keep us connected but it is not quite enough. For both of us – we could easily fall into a more over all intense, kinky, TPE relationship on most days, but right now the privacy is simply not here.

I say on most days because truthfully life is just that way. I don’t think you can have a full, well rounded life and have only one aspect to it. That’s my opinion, not based on any studies so no need to tell me that ….. *raspberries* I am not a *one trick pony* and that includes my personality and personal life experiences.

Our life is 24/7, 365 for nearly 25 years now (23 married), it most certainly is not all about one thing. I’m not saying things are lacking, don’t get me wrong, just not quite what we aspire to.

The boys are doing well and i think i may be finally on track to figuring out what’s going on with me, physically. That would be another reason why i think Bear is more in ‘care taker’ mode and less in ‘master’. I appreciate that, i can’t say i always like it, but i appreciate it. That’s His main concern after all isn’t it? Taking care of His submissive ….

For anyone following both, i hope to update the other site soon. There are many, many new things and like i mentioned already, hopefully some light at the end of this very long tunnel!

Take care and be well! ❤

 

 

 

My apologies

I used to do 6 to 8 posts per week, now i’m lucky to do a post every 6 to 8 weeks!! :/

For anyone who may be wondering … life is good and things are going very well in regards to our dynamic as well. We have added a bit more kink (still shy on the impact play due to noise concerns) and fun to our days and that helps with the over all feel/enjoyment of the every day!

I normally take my summers off but due to the covid crises, i have decided to stay open and help the parents in need of childcare while they slowly return to normal work hours. It has hindered some of the things we were hoping to delve into kink wise but over all i’m not feeling cheated, and that’s a good thing!

I think that generally the reason for our success is that i have embraced the type of dominant He wants to be and i have found a nice rhythm in my submission to match. Most importantly – when He adjusts His dominance to suit my energy in submission, i no longer feel like it’s ‘not real’ …. or whatever the tape playing in the heads of submissives wanting to please. *wink*

Life is about learning, growing, changing and just living your best life.

So too is this relationship dynamic.

Happy Friday all! Be well ❤

person holding yellow flower
Photo by Vlad Bagacian on Pexels.com

So far …

These few weeks back to work have been interesting. Trying to keep up with the ‘dynamic’ energy that we want and keep up with life and responsibilities has not been easy!

For the most part however, Bear seems to be more tuned into His dominant side than He has been in a long time. I don’t think it’s just in my mind although i admit that the shift in thinking for me has been a huge help as well.

Life hasn’t changed much and responsibilities have not lessened, neither has the stress! LoL For some reason however, i think we both have found a nice balance again. There have been a few bumps along the road these two weeks but all in all i feel more connected to my ‘s’ side than i have in a long while as well!

He’s using the ‘tools in His tool box’ more without overthinking it or hesitation and i’m using my communication more without doing the same! So far, it feels really good!

Happy Friday! ❤