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The double edged sword strikes again …

I know I just wrote about ‘bumping’ up my efforts yesterday but I actually started to put it into practice on the weekend. We have more free time and I felt it was a good opportunity to start! It offered more time to think and prepare and plan to be the best I could be for you and by Monday I had a decent plan of action to continue on with. I’m a planner, what can I say! lol

As far as I can tell it has already helped to enhance our great relationship, why stop at good or great when you can go for fantastic? I’m a bit of a go getter too … ;P

I guess as time goes on the physical shows of domination and submission start to slow down a bit and busy days turn to busy nights and if we’re not careful some of the things that make this dynamic great start to slowly fade into the background. I know it can’t be all high protocol all the time but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try our best to do as much as we can, when we can. And that responsibility falls to me also … not just you. That was what started this train of thought last week and this is where it has led me so far. From our conversation last night I’m going to say that you approve! 😀

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The other side of this coin of course is that when I put myself out there for you and leave myself raw with emotion and desire I also feel your absence much more deeply. I’m not talking about just sexual desire, I mean the desire to be near you, with you, just surrounded by your strength and in your arms …. It’s sometimes an overwhelming need to just be yours and nothing more …

As with everything balance is the key, and those tasks that I talked about help to keep things balanced until you’re home again. Wearing your ring calms me, wearing a day collar keeps me grounded, and taking a few minutes to kneel and think about what I can do for you makes me feel fulfilled. As simple as they are these things offer a connection to you that I miss greatly when I’m not actively doing something to offer my submission to the man I love.

I can’t be yours completely and shut these things off when you are not around but with your guidance Sir these things can be happy and balanced moments instead of anxious and depressing hours of waiting …

So yes your tasks are more than just things to do, and I thank you for providing them!

Love You Always My Wonderful ❤

 

This is mine …

I’ve been doing some thinking lately, mostly because I have some time on my hands and because I have been talking to a friend that has reminded me to stop and take a step back and take note of how things are going in my life, our life!

Don’t fret Sir, there is nothing wrong that I need to talk to you about or anything like that! I just like to stop and think once in a while of how things are and where I would like them, or simply if I’m doing all I can and holding up my responsibility in this commitment to you, to us.

This submission is mine, I’m the one who decides how much or how often. I’ve said before, I don’t believe submission is because of the dominant, I believe it is completely under the control of the submissive. You can correct and try to control all sorts of things but the fact is that if I don’t want to, I won’t. Simple as that …. anything forced is simply not consensual and well a different situation all together, isn’t it? So like I said, this is mine … I can choose to give it to you and I can choose how much and how well, but it is still mine to begin with and as such it’s also my responsibility.

I’m pretty sure you will disagree with this next part, but … I think I can do better! I think there are some things that I have not done to my best ability and for that I sincerely apologize. I’m going to work on being more of the submissive you deserve in my actions, more often.

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I can’t expect the best from you and then not put in my best in return. It’s not that I think I’m doing anything wrong, I just don’t think my external actions are matching my internal thoughts quite so well.

Just like everyone else we have lives and responsibilities and children and pets and friends … etc. etc. and before you know it the end of the day is here and we haven’t had a chance for much else. The house is never our own and well times for more obvious showings of my submission are difficult to find.

I guess the short and long of it is that when I am more mindful I can find more times to sneak in more showings of my submission to you and I can also be more demonstrative of how much I love you and adore your touch! So this week I am going to work on both those things and I hope that it will please you ….

Love You Always Sir ❤

Mother Nature

Some things about my body really do puzzle me, okay well maybe just this one! Or maybe it’s just frustration …. LOL

I think mother nature must have quite the sense of humour, because why else would I be more needy and wanting on the one week (few days really) that are the messiest!! UGH!

Outside of the really hard menopausal months I have never really gotten b*tchy or sad or grumpy even with my cycle, but the one thing that has never changed is that my sex drives ramps up! You’d think that wasn’t even possible really, I have never suffered from not wanting to have sex let’s put it that way.

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So I’m hoping for maybe some play anyway but I’d swear ‘she’ installed a switch with men that says ‘game off for now’ as soon as they find out! 😛 It appears to be a bugger to reprogram!! LOL

Maybe it’s not sense of humour after all, maybe she’s just a b*tch!?!?

Feeling feisty, can you tell?

Love You Sir ❤

BDSM Day Dreaming ….

This past summer has been one thing after another, and when free time is finally available there are always at least two teens at home that don’t miss a thing! Vacation time went right out the window and now I guess I’m just missing your touch, more often …

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As much as I know that your leadership is still in place I am very much missing some of the more physical and obvious manifestations of our agreement. The cuffs, the obvious and substantial collars, the chains!

I’m missing kneeling naked at your feet for more than just bed time, wearing plugs for training and mindfulness, even just walking around naked wearing nothing but my collar, cuffs and nipple clamps …

Wearing a spanking skirt and knee socks, being told to bend over for inspection whenever the idea strikes you … and yes the strike of your flogger or belt.

Image result for sexy tied upBeing chained to the rings on the bed and the noise the chains make when I try to move. I especially miss the feel of your chains draped across my body, something about them just relaxes me to my core.

Hanging from the hook in the ceiling, feeling the sting of your touch … your blind fold, and the anticipation that it brings!

And so much more …..

It’s just kink and sexual objectification and I know it in no way compares to the big picture …. But I am missing you that way!

So, how long before we get the house to ourselves Sir??? I suppose hiding in the bedroom for days on end is out of the question …. lol

A few hours here and there is going to have to do for now but I’m dreaming of entire weekends at your mercy … ❤ ❤ and more!

Love You Always Sir ❤

Small Change …

Hi all you readers out there … I’ve decided to change the site up a bit to hopefully make it easier to read. I’ve gone with a bright and simple format in hopes of making it comfortable in all modes of access.

Let me know what you think, and any possible changes that might make it better still. I only ever use my laptop so I really have no clue how it comes up in other devices!

If you like it the way it is, please ‘like’ to let me know! 😉

The only thing I don’t like is that you now have to scroll all the way down to find a follow button … as well as other posts but I’m hoping to figure out how to put that at the top in a drop down format. I’m just not familiar with this template yet!

Thanks and happy reading! 🙂

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Submitting completely – His way/Take 2

I originally wrote this 8 months ago and I like to go back to it every so often to remind myself …. This time I think I will add a little to it and give myself more to remember and ponder for the next visit! Enjoy …

Submission is doing what He wants but it is also not getting upset when there is something He doesn’t want, if His plans don’t match mine or if He just wants something different right now.

If He chooses not to give directions on how my day is to be run then I submit to that want. If He has no need to manage my spending then I will submit to that want. Getting upset because His plan does not match mine is not submission, it’s still leading. Being responsible for myself because that is what He wants, that is submission because it pleases Him. Coming to Him if there is an actual issue and not bothering Him with all sorts of pointless decisions to make, that is submission because that is what makes Him happy. That is what He wants!

Everyone is different and everyone’s wants and needs are different. To submit to your dominant you follow their lead, not someone else’s. The point is to please Him and if whatever list or ritual you have read about does not please Him then it’s not submitting for you to insist on getting it or getting upset because they are not doing it.

If this thing is one of your needs then put it under that umbrella. Bring it to their attention as a want or need of yours. Let them decide whether or not to indulge you and then submit to whatever decision they have made.  They may decide yes to please you, that’s their right! They also might decide no … why would a ‘no’ make you happier? Be happy with the yes if that’s what you get, you must be pleasing them enough to have them want to indulge you. Go with it!

~ As you wish and however you wish Sir ~

My Sir is not one for many rules and often doesn’t give many orders either. I guess it goes along with my warrior personality, I really don’t require much guidance until I do! LOL

Sometimes I have to remind myself that just because I don’t have lists to follow doesn’t mean that He’s not still leading, it just means that I’m doing a good job at whatever needs to be done. I have to be sure to keep the warrior spirit at bay when He finally does say something because if I’m not mindful I will very quickly turn to the ‘who the heck are you to tell me’ side of my personality. Some might think that because I don’t get constant orders that my submission should be easy, I say it is quite the opposite.

I might technically be able to do what I want because the order hasn’t been given to the contrary but my commitment to Sir says it’s quite the opposite! Keeping yourself in check when no one is watching can be just as challenging if not more so if you ask me.

Like this afternoon for example, I have no set tasks and I have plenty to do to keep me busy for work but when I do get just a few minutes to myself my mind automatically goes to what I think He would like to see when He finally gets home …

I could sit around and have a cup of coffee, or read a few chapters of a book or just linger a bit longer for my lunch ….. but instead I know that there are a couple of dishes in the sink and He prefers to see it clean and clear when He gets home, the laundry has piled up enough to be divided into loads to throw in the wash tonight, there are some old newspapers that can be put into the recycle bins, the glass tables are due for a polish and shine …. and He really does prefer to have something to read when He gets in, so I am working on this post!

No, none of these things have been specifically spelled out as my tasks for the day but I know that’s what He wants. I don’t always have time to sneak some of these things in but given any sort of opportunity He knows I will, so it’s not dictated but it’s done anyway.

It might not sound like much but the fact is that I do it for Him, I would prefer to sit and read, I don’t get much time for that. Most of my commands from Sir would be more in keeping with “Don’t do anything today, if you get a chance, just read!” LOL But He hasn’t said that today so I’m off and running some more, for Him, because it pleases Him …. so I submit for His pleasure without being micro managed.

Love You Always Sir ❤

 

Today’s ‘Shower Talk’ – Habits

Shower talk is what I decided to call things that occur to me when I’m performing other tasks, like taking a shower. Some are my random thoughts and some are not so random. So here goes …

When I wanted to break the smoking habit I looked at triggers that made me want to smoke and stayed away from them. I found other areas to be around instead of areas with smokers and I cut out (or tried to) breaks with smoking friends.

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I looked for good habits to replace the bad one and to be sure to fill the extra time! They say you never truly break a habit, you simply replace it with a different one … I think that rings true for most of us.

Anyway, to the point of this post, what I didn’t do was go hang out at the cigar bar with an old smoking buddy and try to fool myself into thinking I would be okay, and that my new-found reason and good habits would be sustained!

Just food for thought …. BTW I have been smoke free 3 1/2 years now! 😀

Love You Sir ❤

 

 

Reason and rituals …. the puzzle complete!

Recently I have had just a little bit more time on my hands. This has allowed for a bit more web surfing and I’m finding a couple of sites to follow, a couple of sites to check back on and just reading up on the point of view of others. Slowly but surely some pieces of the bigger puzzle are coming together for me …

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I’ve never been overly needy and I have more than enough patience to go around. I’m not one to shy away from issues that need to be taken care of and through patience and love from Sir I have become quite comfortable telling Him what I think and need. I’m very good at taking care of myself (most of the time) and really don’t dwell on what I wish I had, I’m more of an in the moment and finding the good type person ….

So sometimes things that would really be helpful to me/us are simply not on my radar because I don’t really realize that they are not being used to the fullest potential in the first place. One of these such things are rituals or tasks set out by the dominant simply to have the submissive follow through and be reminded of who calls the shots.

These things don’t need to be elaborate or time-consuming even, just specific and directed by the dominant. Let’s face it, not all of us have an entire day to dedicate to performing kinky or ritualistic tasks just for the sake of performing them …. It’s just not feasible.

Many times I think the tasks are set out in a kinky/sexual nature which makes sense to me because first they are not a punishment and shouldn’t feel burdensome or bad (I don’t think) and secondly most of them involve some sort of personal, intrusive act which certainly heightens the feeling of being taken and submissiveness. I don’t think these are the only tasks used or that should be used, I just think that they are some of the most effective in a short period of time.

Other tasks that are very effective are ones that require the submissive to be stripped naked adding to a sense of vulnerable exposure, even when alone. Basically anything that is just outside of your comfort zone and would be considered personal is likely going to go a long way in affecting your mindset once you get yourself into position and start thinking about what you are doing and who for.

Another key aspect of these tasks is that they need to be specifically called for by the dominant in order to have the greatest impact on the mind. I constantly perform tasks (that are not kinky) that are specifically to please Sir but I don’t feel that they have the same depth of submissive mindset as the times He specifically asks for them to be done.

I think this just turned into a very long-winded way of saying that when I read about submissives wishing and hoping for more rules,rituals and structure what they are saying is that they wish to feel something more directly connected to their dominant. They want to feel the soft, calm and complete feeling of belonging they get when they are following instructions and being ‘good’.

I don’t think we want to guess and be unsure, we want to know it pleases you, and that you are paying attention, and that you do care and it does matter … we matter. Tasks that bring our minds into focus allow us to feel a connection with you, even when you are not here, even when we are not playing, even when life is crazy … We don’t want to feel we have decided, we want to feel you have!

As a dominant you have the ability to take and assert yourself whenever you feel the need to connect to your dominant energy, but as a submissive we either wait patiently, or we need to speak up, which in a lot of cases starts to feel like we’re not actually following, not submitting. (I’m not saying that’s true, it’s just what it can feel like at times.) Especially when we are already feeling the need for connection.

I guess what I’m thinking is that perhaps as a dominant you might not feel the need for small tasks and rituals as often because you can have your connection when you want/need it … but as a submissive I think the need might be just a bit greater, and maybe kinky tasks aren’t just a matter of sex drive and training after all ….

The more intrusive/risqué the more vulnerable, and the more vulnerable the more submissive making … but any task specifically asked for will further our connection to our submissive self, or so I think ….

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I’m always secure in my connection with you Sir but I won’t deny that the times you leave tasks to accomplish make me more mindful and connected than ever.

It’s similar to the feelings brought out through BDSM only on a different scale, for me anyway.

Love You Always Sir ❤