Feeling exceptionally blessed ….

I have this wonderful happy feeling in my soul that just won’t leave! (Not that I want it to!)

My life feels awesome and complete. I love you Sir and all you do for me/us. You’ve worked so hard, you’ve done so much and I can’t think of one thing I could possibly be worried about.

I love the way you look at me, and tell me how happy you are. I love that you enjoy just being with me no matter where we go or what we’re doing! I especially love knowing that I am making you very happy because you’re sharing with me what you really want and how you really feel! No guess work, no question …. I love you and you love me.

I feel like I can finally show you just how much you have always meant to me.

Love Always!

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Expectant submissive …hummm

Is that kind of like saying Brat?

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In my experience having set out huge expectations for your Sir is almost certainly a road to failure. In general these expectations tend to be based on someone else’s stories and experiences. Although they might sound fantastic they just might not fit your Sir!

Your Sir needs to find his on way in this thing we do, he will have his own wants and needs. They may be different then what you imagined but it doesn’t make them any less valid or awesome! Part of being submissive in this instance is allowing your Sir time to figure out what works for him as well as you! Instead of having expectations, try being thankful for the time and effort he has put forth in the first place.

Work on your communication skills so that you may sit down together and list things you would like to try and maybe how you pictured it in your mind. Let your Sir know your wants and fantasies and then trust him to do what is right for BOTH of you at that time. Pushing him into something he is not ready for will only back fire anyway and belittle all the confidence you have worked so hard to build. It will also take away that peaceful and happy feeling you get when you let him lead, his way.

Work on your submission, work on being happy with what you have and not keeping up with the Jone’s. Your Sir will see your effort and feel your thankfulness and be much more likely to oblige your fantasies anyway!

Just my two cents ….. I’m sure I’ll be back on this one! 🙂

Rules ….. how do you come up with them?

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I’ve been thinking recently about how the D/s dynamic works and what about it exactly makes it so appealing to us? The kinky play is certainly a huge turn on but that can be had with or without D/s. So what is it ……what is the real need that it fulfills?

In one of my earlier posts I wrote about the closeness that allows you to not feel alone and to feel valued and loved. So besides kinky sex how do we get that closeness? Well for must of us I think that need is filled in part by the rules and expectations set out by our Sirs. Having rules for most of us means that our Sirs are watching! They are paying attention, they are trying to make us better people and they care enough to put in the time and energy that it requires.

So how do our Sirs come up with these rules in the first place? How do they know all our deep dark secrets and needs? Do they first need to take a course in mind reading? Of course not ….

Unless your Sir is exceptional at reading people or has been doing this for a very long time I think they will likely need some help from the submissive in order to set them up. Being honest with yourself and your Sir about what you need and what you want is extremely important here if you want this dynamic to work! Write up the rules as you think they should be and then present them to your Sir. Ask for opinions and guidance on what you have written and then allow him to take them and tweak them and make them his own!

I think that if you are very open and very honest about what you need and what you want there might not even be much tweaking going on. After all no one knows us better then we know ourselves ….. I don’t believe this is in any way topping or taking control because the ultimate goal is to help your Sir help you! Besides, Sir has the last say … He might decide to start with all the rules you have written out, or only some, or maybe none at all and tell you to redo them because he doesn’t feel they are valid!

In my humble opinion, once Sir starts with some rules (whether started by us or himself) he will more easily start to recognize what we need and what will work. Sir then will begin to make up his own rules and expectations as time goes by. And then he will take the reins ….. right Sir? 🙂

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‘Little’ vanilla is still vanilla …..

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I read somewhere that someone was saying that when they argue with their Sir they aren’t going ‘vanilla’, they are going ‘little’ because they want to say hurtful things and take away their toys (meaning their submission) and go home….

I know they will never see this and little is not part of our dynamic but I still needed to get this thought out of my head so here goes:

I totally understand the idea of ‘taking your toys and going home’ but I don’t think it qualifies as just being ‘little’, it still sounds very vanilla to me.

Whether your choice of hurtful words are childish or more explicit doesn’t really make much difference in the grand scheme of things. In my opinion they would still be rude, hurtful and impatient. Sounds a bit vanilla don’t you think? Taking away your submission is not just a little reaction it is a vanilla one, big people do it too… Being a little in my opinion does not give you the right to act selfishly and without regard or respect for your spouse and then blame the little aspect of your dynamic in order to excuse it.

It is at these times in our lives that we rely on our submission the most, big or little. Take a step back, understand what the real issue is and then communicate with our Sirs/Daddys.  Maybe then we can get a solution and break the cycle …..

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…..

Wonderful weekend….Thank you Sir!

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We had another wonderful weekend full of fun and play! Thank you Sir for all your effort and attention…. The BDSM play is certainly the bonus to this wonderful dynamic we share!

Being my Sir certainly seems to agree with you! You looked very content and at peace yourself. Telling me what you need seems to be coming much easier now, is that true or just my imagination?

Kneeling at your feet when you run your fingers through my hair feels like I’m flying higher then the highest cloud! It is in no way a weak position – it gives me a strength that comes from inner peace.

I Love You …..

In the Beginning …..

Remember when Sir….

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I wanted to talk to you about how you felt you are doing and how you said you were letting yourself and me down.

I understand how you could think that way because of the kinky stuff that we were talking about but in my opinion that is NOT the most important part of this dynamic. From my point of view I see you taking huge steps outside your comfort zone and trying all sorts of new things and new ideas, both kinky and not.
I feel like you are finally telling me what you want, finally standing up for yourself and insisting on more respect then ever before. I’m starting to see and recognize that types of things that make you happy and I can now work on doing those for you. That makes me very happy and very proud to be yours!
I want you to guide me and I want you to take control when I need it and you are doing just that. The kinky stuff is fun and we can certainly work on that but it is not the most important. I love looking up to you and I love snuggling up to you and knowing you are in control and I am safe and free to let go of all the stuff that has worn me down before.
You’re my protector now and I can let go of that rough outer shell and finally be myself. Especially with you. As I told you before I have all the respect for you and love and I wouldn’t change that feeling for any amount of kink Sir.
You’ve really been showing me lately that you are mine just as much as I am yours and that you truly enjoy being here with me. I can’t help but fall at your feet Sir and honestly your lucky I am ever standing when you are in the room!
Love you always, nijntje.

Trying to contain my excitement …..

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I am very much looking forward to some play time to come Sir! We have played before and played often even by most standards but I would be lying if I said there wasn’t a little extra excitement and anticipation in me lately. You made some commitments and agreed to bump things up a notch and I am very much counting on you to do that.

I don’t want to be pushy and I really don’t want to add any undue pressure (lord knows you normally do plenty of that on yourself) but I know you are ready and I know I have been waiting a long time …. I can’t think of any real reason why we can’t move forward now and you have a lot of techniques under your belt (LOL) to pull from so please just go with your instincts and let the play begin!

I promise to use my safe words if you promise to tap into your dark side!