He said, no.

I don’t often talk about my chronic issues on this blog, not in any great detail, but today the power exchange and the vanilla world come together in a way that i can’t really explain on the other one.

I have a few things i battle daily and fibro and CTD (connective tissue disease) are only the tip of the iceberg but they have been at me with a vengeance recently and affecting my routine/life! Moving is becoming increasingly difficult and i’ve had to take pain medications which i really don’t like to do.

This gets in the way of my rule of daily exercise. It’s one of the rules Bear has for my own well being and was put in place of my own asking. When i don’t work out i don’t feel well, mentally or physically. Setting Him in charge means i don’t make excuses and talk myself out of it, so i don’t put myself into a dangerous downward spiral. But there is more ….

Setting Him in charge also means that i don’t set myself up for harm. He knows how rough the last couple of weeks have been for me and how rough the last few days in particular have been. When i told Him how i was feeling today He instantly told me ‘no workout’.

Personally i knew i probably should skip today, not only are my legs/knees aching but now my ankles are sore as well. Really sore, and i’ve got bruising that is appearing around my ankles and up that area of my leg. I haven’t hit anything, i don’t know where they are coming from but they are in line with the most intense areas of pain. I was still debating whether or not i should workout ….. i don’t like having to give in. Doing too much has always been a bigger issue for me than not doing.

But He said no, so i’m writing this out, my body is still screaming at me and i’m going to give up typing for now because my legs and lower joints are not the only ones affected unfortunately. But i wanted to depict how D/s and vanilla collide and why they work well together.

He might not be able to do much about my pain but He can keep me from hurting myself further. My submission alleviates my perfectionism, following orders seems to do away with the guilt i would feel otherwise for sitting today out!


17 thoughts on “He said, no.

  1. I’m glad he’s taking care of you so well! HD does something similar. I’ve been put on light duty because my pain has been unmanageable for a few days. I hate that I can’t do anything and would likely force myself to do more than I should, even though I know I need to take things easy. Since he’s said it, I don’t really have a choice, and I know it’s for my health.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah i know the drill too! I’ve been told more than once to take it easy …. Or i won’t like the consequence. 😏 doms ….

      But seriously though, it is the wise choice, just not always easy for us to accept.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Do you mean for exercises? If so, it’s not that simple i’m afraid. Take today for example, i ache just to sit, standing is painful and walking even more so …. there are no exercises to do because i simply can’t move without pain.

      On a ‘normal’ day i’m good to try anything i like as long as the form is right. My issues are not in the joints exactly it’s the soft tissue in my body. Like tendons for example, so no twisting the wrong way or i pay for it, BIG time!


      1. Yikes!
        But also, that’s great that you still are active. I know lots of people who would let the fear or inconvenience – even just the threat of the bad stop them from doing anything. It takes bravery to stop do it at all. Good on you! And good on your Bear!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I live with the same pain, there are no words to explain it, nothing I say can help. It’s like trying to describe how taking a shower is one of the hardest things to do. There are days like this when nothing can help except looking out my window at the Pecan Tree. Thanks for speaking for many of us.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jacques, for taking the time to comment! I’m sorry you can relate to the pain but i am glad to have someone else who understands. 🙂

      I document it much more on my other blog because i do believe that getting the word out is important. Some days the struggle seems endless and i know the information i have found from others has helped me along the way. I’m only hoping to pay it forward!

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Awe, thank you, Andrew! I tend to focus on the positive things in life so i don’t bring this up much.

      This felt important to write today because it speaks to a much more meaningful and important part of the dynamic that just can’t quite be explained otherwise.

      Bear has taught me that i am worth taking care of and so i do try my best these days! 🙂
      I think even those who are not into kink can understand this struggle.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, i’m glad you’ve been able to find something to help! I try my best to stay as close to nature as i can with all my foods and drinks too 🙂


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