Freedom in His chains.

strong:   able to withstand great force or pressure.

powerful:  having great power or strength.

For as strong and powerful as I have always been I was never complete. Now that I am His, I am free.

free:  not physically restrained, obstructed, or fixed; unimpeded.

Strong, powerful and free.

Even in the darkest and weightiest of days I am content, I am happy. *sigh*

I am His. ❤ 


Irony of submission

There are many times in life that I laugh wryly at what goes on around me but this time it’s just a good old-fashioned, knowing chuckle!

I just wrote something yesterday that put the irony of my relationship front and center! The misconception of submission, at least mine anyway.

I started down this road of submitting to my husband because I was tired of not having it all, not because I was giving anything up! *chuckle*

Giving Him all of the control has given me more power.

The power to speak up and speak honestly, the power to have my thoughts heard and my needs met. The power to ask for what I need and want, the power to be myself without guilt.

The responsibility of that control makes Him much more invested in taking care of me and making sure I’m happy and fulfilled.

Submission hasn’t taken anything away from me, it has given me much, much more! *wink*

I know there are at least a few people around me getting ready to ask what the heck it is we are up to, I think I’ll start with this …..

What do you think Sir, fair and appropriate answer?

Love You Always Sir ❤


I’ve been in an odd mood lately, well maybe not odd for me, I’ve been feeling kind of disconnected from the things around me. Mostly just walking around in the world but living in my head. If I used to be more active on your blog and now seem to have disappeared I just want to let you know, it’s not you it’s me!

Physically I’ve been in so much pain lately that I’m walking around in a constant haze, that’s not helping me to come down to earth either.

I have a pretty big craving for some serious play time but there is no way to put that into effect right now. No I don’t mean sex and kink I mean string me up and push me to my limits type play. The type that leaves you completely out of your head and floating, exhausted …. that type! The type that shocks you back to life. Oh well …

Which reminds me, one of these days I will write about why safewords are necessary and have nothing to do with how much you trust/know each other or how committed you are to letting your dominant lead and not topping. Maybe you don’t play that hard but don’t assume that people with safewords in place are any less connected or committed.

Anyhow, for now I’ll live in my music and get my kicks the best I can! *wink* This pretty much says it all!



Re-Blog! Ay Caliente – The Spice of Subbies

Did you know peppers were cultivated in Central America well before 4,000 BC? Thanks to the Spanish explorers, the mighty pepper has now spread all across the globe, and hundreds of mutations of the original now exist. China is even the world’s leader in producing green bell peppers now. This brutal plant is an offshoot […]

via Ay Caliente – The Spice of Subbies — Kit and Caboodle of Jumbled thoughts and reasoning

Just a little D/s levity on a Monday, a must read! What kind of pepper are you?? LoL

Family, friends and power exchanges.

There are many things in my life that The Bear has taken control of that are not at all sexy or kinky. There are many things that happen in the everyday that I wouldn’t give a second thought to. These things don’t change just because we are out with family and friends. They are becoming more noticeable though as the Bear gets more comfortable asserting Himself, even in front of others!

Now I have always been the fighter, the one who stands up for things and injustices, even if they are just said in passing or as a joke. I don’t let things slide under the assumption that it wasn’t meant that way, a wrong is a wrong and I need to be sure to at least disagree with it lest it appears that I don’t.

The Bear on the other hand has always been the mingler, He stays away from confrontation if possible and prefers to let things that are not so important slide and deal with them if and when it is necessary. He’s the life of the party, he likes to entertain people. The last thing He would have done was ‘start something’.

Not that anything bad happened or was ‘started’ but just to give you an idea of the personality in general. It’s a lot of the reason why symbols and odd protocols are not really His thing, He has no need to stand out and push things like TPE in people’s face, which I agree with. But anyway …..

So Friday night we went out to celebrate a birthday, we had dinner and a few drinks and generally a good time! I was enjoying being out for a change so The Bear said we could stay! As I’ve said before things around here are pretty hectic, stress levels have been high to say the least and being out for just fun was a nice change indeed. So was having a few drinks …..

Some time late into the evening when there were only a handful of us left and the drinks had already been going down smoothly I was asked if I wanted a refill to which a voice from behind me said “No, no more drinks tonight, you’ve had enough”.


Of course the person asking was still looking at me for an answer so I said, no I can’t have anymore. Someone else says, “who said you can’t have anymore” sort of jokingly to which the Bear replies “I did”.

It wasn’t really a thing and if He had said nothing I would have just changed my wording a bit and the issue would be over but instead He decided to speak up! This is a big change from before and I think He quite liked it!! *wink*

So I guess the conversation went from there something like ….

“I don’t know what’s up with you two and it’s obvious you have a good relationship, you have something going on here even though I’m not sure what. But, if some man told me I couldn’t have a drink I would have two more instead!”

After just a few seconds of reflection ….

“But then again, maybe what I need is a man to tell me no ….. ” hummm

In the mean time The Bear had grabbed me a bottle of water and some ice in a glass, I had another cold refreshing drink with no alcohol and the conversation moved on to other things for a bit more fun.

There were only a handful of us left like I said, we were all sitting around the kitchen island by this point and I know everyone had stopped and was listening. Outside of that one small interaction no one said a word. I’m sure their heads were turning trying to figure this out but I’m also very sure that they all want we have very much.

You don’t need to turn your ‘lifestyle’ into a debate every time you go out in order for people to see it. You also don’t need to take the conversation any further than asked. They know we are up to something by now and they know that it is different but by the time anyone gets around to figuring it all out, if ever, I doubt they will have any issue with it.

We’ve always been different from the rest anyway, we’ve just gone a step further these last few years.

At the rate it’s going, we might just get stuck mentoring! 😛

Happy Sunday!

Love You Always Sir! ❤

Last night

Last night I was being cheeky and hopping about the bedroom as the Bear undressed me so I could change into some ‘comfy clothes’ after work.

Last night I ended up trying to scoot across the bed to get away.

Last night a big Bear paw came down and trapped the bunny on the bed while the other turned her over and landed a few good smacks! 😉

Last night I was pinned under a Bear, sitting on me and holding my hands down, looking straight into my eyes.

“I do love how strong and powerful you are bunny.”

Last night He claimed me again ….

I do love that You are strong enough to accept me and claim me Bear!

Like I’ve said before, I don’t want to be submissive, I want to be conquered! I am a warrior after all, but it is nice to rest sometimes!

Happy Friday!

Effective corrections and consequences

Yeah, still nothing sexy or a spanking story to tell, but certainly a very effective way to create and maintain change.

Some time ago I approached the Bear and told Him that I was having difficulty breaking away from my reading and writing to get certain things done around here. They are things that I don’t enjoy doing because of some of my physical issues but things that need to be done anyway and I was using every trick in the book to talk myself out of doing them.

When these things don’t get done I feel guilty and I don’t relax or enjoy my evenings. Mind you some days are simply very busy and complicated around here and getting to those chores really is a problem, but I can always point that out to Him and have a decision made for me on what to do or not do. Outside of that there are now consequences.

One of course involves a spanking, mostly as I have said before, a short session to put the entire episode behind us and for us (me) to move on! It is a forgive and forget method when it comes to spanking as punishment, not a deterrent.

The other day I had let time get away from me, I had been running around doing things and taking care of issues but I really did just not notice on the time! Before I realized it I was almost to start work again for the afternoon and the dishes were still in the sink! AHH! Crap ….

Now the thought of getting spanked for it did enter my head but as much as I do not want to be in trouble I do admit that somewhere deep down the idea of leaving them in the sink and forcing His hand in a spanking was a bit tempting! It’s not the type of attention I want when it comes to impact or His dominance but attention is attention regardless! This is certainly more of a subconscious thought process than anything else but if I face facts it’s there!

The thing that really made my heart jump and my brain quickly figure out a way to sneak 5 minutes in to get them done was the idea of losing that check mark on the calendar! That one simple action could not be undone, the empty square would forever be there and I would have no story to write about, no comments to help commiserate and no heartfelt “I’m sorries, I’m sure you can do it nijntje, just keep trying and hope your backside keeps you mindful”.

Yup, no attention-getting, good or bad it’s still attention. Just like publicity ….

Spankings or any other form of ‘punishment’ keeps the dynamic flowing, keeps the balance obvious and His dominance in the forefront. It keeps the power exchange feeling real and keeps me feeling His but what it does not do is effect change.

So yes, I wanted help to fix a bad habit and He has come up with a very effective plan to actually help me make the change.


What this site is, and is not.

This is a site about life and getting on with it.

This is a site about how I submit to my husband and how sometimes things get complicated and busy but our relationship stays in tack.

This is a site about how we navigate the TPE in our lives and some of the hiccups and changes along the way.

This is NOT however a site where you will find retells of my sexual adventures.

This is NOT a site where I will tell stories of spankings and red backsides.

This is NOT an erotic or spanking site, there are plenty of those around. This is NOT one of them.

My personal life and sexual adventures belong to One Man only, no one else. He owns that, it is not to be shared.

If that is what you are looking for you need look no further, it is not here. Sorry.

To the rest of the world who has all of a sudden decided to take a peek, welcome! 😀


Life has been very hectic and frustrating lately.

It might not seem like it here on this blog but my life has been extremely frustrating and hectic these past few months (or years). The last couple of weeks in particular have been h3ll on wheels BUT the Bear and I have been even more in tune and connected, not less.

This post might be a bit of a mess because I have so many things on my brain right now but I just wanted to jot a couple of them down here, for my own record should the doubt ever creep back in. So if you are reading and it gets a bit messy, I apologize!

I have finally figured it out, I have finally gotten over the idea that I can’t just tell Him what it is I’m hoping for. I used to have this nagging feeling that I couldn’t just speak, I shouldn’t have to explain it out and be specific. He should just be able to figure it out, or if it was natural He would get it, ‘do’ it etc. etc. Yeah, that’s a bunch of bullsh*t, it takes two – that means ‘ME’ and Him, not just Him. Again, that is just another form of thinking He should read my mind, I think we’ve been over this before.

Our time and opportunity hasn’t changed much but I have been taking much more advantage of the few minutes we have. If He doesn’t see the opportunity I mention it, the choice is still His I just happen to be much more inventive! *wink*

We might not have hours to play and enjoy each other without interruption but we do have some moments here and there. By the end of the day these small actions together add up to much more than any one escapade anyway. By the end of the day we are both satisfied and exhausted and no one is any the wiser.

I’m not repeating my mistake, if I need something I ask, if I see opportunity I tell and if the mood strikes I tease ….. and guess what? I’ve been getting much more of His dominance in return. THIS feels much more natural, we’ve been here before but reading other’s always seems to make me question it. I’m done questioning, I’m acting and He is reacting and I feel much more His than when I don’t follow my instincts.

So yes the past few weeks of life have been h3llish but we’ve only been getting stronger and deeper into our relationship. There is much around us to be frustrated about but we are happy regardless.

Love You Always Sir! ❤      Evil …… *wink*

Dominant or submissive?

I used to do things because I felt a responsibility to take care of Sir and make His life better.

Now I do things because I feel a responsibility to please Him and make His life better.

The things, actions and words are the same or similar …. it’s only in my head that the idea of submissive versus dominant exists. Outside it LOOKS very similar.

This is what my biggest issue has always been, this is why I had such a hard time speaking up. My manners have always been in tact, it’s the now subtle difference between telling and asking that I had to rationalize.

I can and do still speak my mind, only now the choice is His. But I still speak, tell, and ask for what I think, feel and want. Silence is not submission, truth and communication is!

Happy Monday!

Love You Always Sir! ❤