I had this conversation the first time about a year and a half ago and I recently revisited the idea with a friend. The conclusion for me was the same both times although they came about in two different ways.
One factor was intelligence and the second dominance.
Neither of these topics are meant in a high and mighty way so I hope they don’t come across as such but I am very straightforward in my wording of things, and if you’ve been around any time at all you probably already know that. So let’s have at it shall we?
The first is intelligence, can you be simply too smart to be submissive? If you know and see pretty much all ideas and avenues before they happen, if you know the answer before you ask the question, if you are always at the top of your game, can anyone else really ever be in control of you? If you know just how to behave to get the outcome you want then who is really in control?
Well I think this is where your emotion comes into play. You need to keep mindful that the only reason this remains submissive is because you allow yourself to feel it as such. Isn’t this exactly what happens in all DOM/sub relationship? The submissive is rewarded for good behaviour and the Dominant’s rules are adhered too. Does it really make the act any less submissive simply because you can see the outcome from miles away? Perhaps that makes it even more submissive in nature ….. ?
Secondly is dominance, I am a naturally dominant person so what is it that has made me submissive to my husband? I step up and take control of things and people all the time, I plan, control and execute all day long and quite happily so how can I simply put that aside for Him?
Well this one is mostly desire. I have made a choice to be and act this way in my marriage and the only thing truly responsible for it is my strong desire to do so. In the beginning of the shift to this dynamic I made a conscious effort to wait and leave decisions for Him to make and control. I didn’t have an overwhelming need for Him to be in charge but I did and do have an overwhelming desire to have Him as my dominant.
So for me feeding the emotion of submission by keeping the feelings alive trumps the fact that I can manipulate the outcome if I chose to. That fact that I don’t is a show of submission in and of itself, and secondly the desire to stay as His submissive even though I can function quite well as a dominant is the thing that seals the deal for us.
Life like submission is about choice and effort, this is where I choose to put mine.
And all the kinky fun stuff of course!! LOL You wouldn’t want to forget dessert!
Love You Always Sir ❤
