Making Soup

There is something incredibly relaxing and mind calming about making soup for me, or any down home type cooking! Maybe it’s reminiscent of the old movies and the mom in the kitchen while the kids play in the yard. Maybe it’s just because the actions of chopping and peeling and prepping just leave no room for the nastiness of the world to creep in.

Whatever it is that makes my mind calm and relaxed it is really quite the change for me. Well, a change from when I was young, I’ve been finding peace in the kitchen for quite some time now. When I was younger I was so hung up on not being the housewife that I truly couldn’t bring myself to even step foot in the kitchen without having to turn my nose up at something or wear a frown. The idea I was getting from my parent(s) that being a female meant I wasn’t able to care for myself and then secondly that that was my ‘place’ to be cooking and cleaning etc. It was almost like the boys had better things to do but that was where a female was to find their destiny … blah blah blah

It was a shame really, because I really do enjoy cooking and baking and I am quite good (if I do say so myself)! lol It took a lot of self exploration and self acceptance to be comfortable with the fact that yes I am female and yes I DO like to cook darn it! It doesn’t make me any less capable everywhere else and it also doesn’t mean that I am giving in … for me anyway it actually means that I am rebelling! Rebelling against the idea that I had to rebel against being in the kitchen. Wow, what a trip …. So now I do what I want to do, even if that is making soup!

None of this I could have accomplished without the loving support and backup I get from my Sir, long before he was known as Sir! So if I want to kneel for him, or bring Him his slippers or make His coffee then I will! And if I want to be corrected by Him when I am not being all that I can be and all that I want to be, then I can! It doesn’t make me any less ‘liberated’, it actually makes me more! 😀

Love Always my wonderful Sir ❤

 

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Knee high socks

Funny how a pair of socks can transform an evening! 😉  Your new found creativity seems to have no limits … I like it very much!

Getting over my hangups and just talking to you and being myself helps too! I can’t imagine having come this far with anyone else but you Sir!

I cherish being your nijntje,  probably more then you will ever know…. The peace and blissful feeling I get with you I find no where else in life.

Love You Always ❤

Yeah Friday and Art!

It’s almost time for the weekend to begin and I’m very excited about some extra time with you Sir! I’m glad to report that my skin is healing nicely and I’m eager to start my moisturizing routine.

Looking forward to working on your art project too! 🙂 Funny, it doesn’t look like a bunny’s bum. LOL

I love how you play with me and think I’m just the cutest thing no matter what quirky thing I might be up too!

I love how you rest your hand around the back of my neck when we are out with friends.

I love how you grab my body in the middle of an isle when no one is looking, sometimes even if they are! 😛

I love when you back me into a counter or table and rest your hands on either side of my body as you tell me what you want ….

I love it when you are my bear …. sometimes my polar bear and sometimes my teddy! Either way I feel safe curling up in your lap.

Can’t wait until your home …..

Love You Always Sir ❤

 

 

 

Stop managing your Dominant’s wording

Sometimes I hear things from other submissives that reminds me that our D/s is very much what we make of it and not based on a set way of doing or saying things. It seems that the bigger picture for some tends to get lost in the particulars of how something was said instead of the message behind the words. It’s like letting that darn fairy tale dictate to your everyday life and I find it to be a waste of other wise good times!

When you are appreciative of anything I have done and come to me with a smile and words of praise or gratitude I choose to take as they are meant. I will not sit and nit pick on your choice of wording, I will take them for what they are ….

Love You Sir ❤

 

Skin care – and a paddled ass!

So apparently I have become acquainted with paddle rash! Let me tell you now that it is not a nice feeling! I was not in trouble and we didn’t try anything new so this rash is simply an occurrence due to circumstance! Warm up and technique has not changed, but the weather certainly has.

Winter weather is here and my skin is very dry, apparently! Normally it is irritating but really doesn’t effect anything else that we are about. Well, now that we are playing a bit more and a bit more intense, some things have come to light that I was not aware of before. It’s not that the information is not out there, it’s just that the sites I was visiting before had not made it known as a common occurrence, common knowledge ‘tutorial’ if you will. Funny since so many of them claim to be practicing BDSM players etc…. but that’s another story.

So this is what I have learned:

  • in order to keep the skin ready and able to accept a good spanking/paddling it is important to keep it healthy and hydrated (not really a big surprise but since it had never been an issue before I just hadn’t stopped to consider it)
  • Vitamin E is a major part of keeping your skin healthy and hydrated and from what I have read so far should be used at least twice daily and more often if you wash or towel off (eg. after swimming or hot tub)
  • if you get spanked a lot you may even consider exfoliating your back side (with a wash cloth or maybe even a soft brush for very thickened or over worked skin 😉 )
  •  Arnica gel will actually aggravate the area if your skin is already dry and a rash has occurred, heal it first by keeping it clean; I have found a topical anti bacterial cream helpful in this case
  • once you have healed the rash you can then start your skin care regime and hopefully not have to deal with paddle rash again!

I used the Arnica on the areas that didn’t seem to be effected by the rash and by morning every spot that had Arnica put on it was now also covered with rash, so do yourself a favour and don’t bother! Normally my bruises are more deep tissue bruises but I do like to keep the outside looking blemish free. Arnica works well for me when all else is going according to plan, but at this time it is only making the rash worse.

Fingers crossed that this works itself out quickly and that the skin care regime does the trick! I guess I’ll let you know how it works out …. 😛

 

Where did it go wrong in the first place?

When I look back now I honestly think that the worst and best thing that happened to me/us was menopause. Let me explain, before menopause I never would have been mouthy or disregard your wants. Even if I wasn’t getting everything I wanted or needed I would have just dealt with it myself, quietly and respectfully but by myself. Perhaps you could chime in on this one Sir so everyone knows I’m not just making it up! 😉

Once the changes started happening the physical changes were easy enough for me to deal with. I have never been a whiner and physical ‘issues’ we’ll call them are not new to me so I just moved forward and carried on. Mentally however I felt like I was coming unglued. I’m sure this is not new to anyone who has ever experienced it but it was quite the roller coaster ride. Sad, angry, uncomfortable and disoriented or just unsettled for no apparent reason most of the time. Let’s say patient was not on the list of qualities and neither was empathy or caring for that matter. I know none of this was my fault but I’m still not proud of how it caused me to behave at the time.

It did however make me more outspoken about my needs with you. This combined with those books that I had never wanted to read in the first place and I/we were sent down this path. I can’t say I’m proud of what brought us to this journey and the path was confusing to say the least, but I can say that I wouldn’t wish to change it. We may have had to make it through some rough times but this place we are in was well worth the effort!

Love You Always Sir ❤

 

My D/s and not FSOG

I know this might not be a very popular view point but NO I did not choose a D/s lifestyle because of reading the trilogy of Mr. Grey. Frankly reading the books almost made me turn completely against the idea …..

I’m not saying that the writer didn’t do a great job telling the story, quite the contrary. I found the lead characters very engaging. The dominant was immature and domineering and the submissive flighty and childish. Neither character was very strong emotionally and they helped each other to branch out and grow, together. Interesting story for sure but certainly nothing I want to emulate! That is exactly what I want to avoid …

The books (which were suggested to me by a friend) did pique my interest in BDSM play and that did lead me to accidentally find a very informative blog site. That site opened my eyes to the much more meaningful D/s and the lifestyle that can be achieved there in. I went looking for play ideas and I found so much more, some of which I didn’t understand fully at the time but I now find myself writing in a very similar tone. The site which was from the dominant point of view is no longer available unfortunately but it did make me realize that the thing I was looking for was this thing called D/s and very little of it was actually about sex. Sex is an important component of a mature, committed relationship and I’m not saying that it isn’t. What I’m saying is that it comes in much lower on the priority list then some FSOG lifestyle advocates would lead you to believe. But then FSOG is a work of fiction …. and should be kept as such in my opinion.

I wanted to embark on this journey to show Sir my love and admiration for all He has done for us. I wanted to show Him what I saw in Him and how much I believed in Him and in all the strength and courage He has shown over the years. I can handle a lot in my own way but when I faltered He was the one I went to for support and the one I counted on when I just couldn’t go on by myself. He has never let me down and I guess this was my way of trying to say thank you Sir!

To me the real D/s is a relationship where the partners build each other up, where they work together each in their own way to make a stronger and more complete relationship. The dominant has a set of strengths and skills that he/she brings to the relationship but also respects and utilizes the strengths and skills of the submissive. It is team work, each working for the other and together moving in harmony. There is a consensual power exchange but the relationship is symbiotic, just as it should be.

This is my D/s, my relationship, my reason for choosing …..

Love You Always Sir ❤

 

 

Bliss, even on a Monday!

Coming off another wonderful weekend with my Sir! I can’t say that I could be happier, and even a tired Monday morning is finding me in a great mood.

I’m not worrying about what others are doing and not worrying about whether I should or should not talk at this time and just going with what works for us, for You! 😀

This for me is more about being a good person and having good manners then it is anything else. Being respectful, not interrupting, paying attention and saying things nicely.  Couple that with real trust and good communication and there is nothing two loving people can’t achieve!

Thank you so much for accepting this responsibility Sir, for making it your own and for trusting in me, and in yourself!

Love You Always ❤

~~ For anyone else reading this, giving over responsibility doesn’t mean you no longer have any for yourself. You are a mature responsible adult after all. If not, perhaps you should not be doing this! ~~ Re: Remembering my place in this relationship … 

 

Alpha Submissive -Physical Actions to promote their Dominance

When I was first starting out it was difficult for Sir to ask me for things and I think he really had no idea what type of things were available to him in the first place. Sexual play is the most obvious but the feeling of being in control the rest of the day needs more then just a turn in the bedroom in order to be maintained. Especially if you have always been in charge around the house, work etc.

I think one of the first actions I put into place was simply asking Him what he would like me to do now, or next. I didn’t wait around for him to tell me he wanted me to stay by His side, I asked. Something as simple as saying would it please you if I sat at your feet while we watched TV?  Sometimes He said yes and sometimes he wanted me on the couch next to him, but He picked.

I started asking Him things like may I make your breakfast Sir or would you like me to wait for your instructions? Would it please you if I wore a dress today? Would you like a drink Sir? … Sometimes He just wanted time alone to work on a project, that seemed to be the hardest for Him to request. I think the first time I asked if He would just like me to find something to keep busy for a little while so He could work was one of the biggest gifts I could have given at the time! 😀 I could almost see the weight of guilt from having to be elsewhere and not attending to me lift from His shoulders.

The point is I didn’t wait to be told I just asked instead. Sooner or later it will become more natural for the dominant to start to ‘expect and demand’ things of you, but at first you are going to have to give ideas and basically permission. They are not used to making demands of you, they never have before and old habits are hard to break.

Mind you there is a big difference between dominant and domineering. Some new dominants are going to have a difficult time trying to get that thought out of their heads especially if they are ‘one of the good guys’ which I’m assuming is why you decided to choose this lifestyle in the first place!  This is where time, encouragement and patience comes in to play.

~ Anything for you Sir, Love Always ❤ ~