Is 7:45 too early for bed?

Sir is sick today, I mean really sick! Not the stomach bug kind of sick but He is fevered and sore and taking Advil and Tylenol to make it through.

He was stuck at work all day today and He works very early in the morning. He basically came home, unpacked His stuff and more or less fell into bed. That was around 4:30 pm and there He has been ever since. I asked before He fell asleep if I should wake Him for dinner and He said no, not a good sign.

So now here I sit, not much going on. No real chores to do and I don’t feel like reading. To be honest it has been an ‘interesting’ couple of days and I’m not so sure I’m feeling really that great right now either. So is 7:45 pm too early to go to bed?

It will be the first time in a long time since I have gone to bed without my night collar. I can’t wake Him and ask Him to put it on me, that would be wrong but going to bed without it just feels unnatural now.

The last time He was sick (which really does not happen very often) He had changed my day collar to my night one before He went to bed. It was the weekend and I didn’t need to worry so much about work and customers. Today however I was still working, so today that was not possible.

The last time I knelt by the bed, even though I already had my collar but I wanted the rest to be the same. He was sleeping and I was as quiet as a mouse but I knelt, I ran through the entire ‘ritual’ in my head and then I tucked myself in. It still felt funny but at least it was finished. Today however, I’m not sure how to proceed.

I’m starting to feel kind of fevered myself but I’m not looking forward to bed, not looking forward to not having Him tuck me into bed, not looking forward to not having My Master change my collar.

I guess I will do the ritual with my day collar on, and leave it on. Only Sir changes my collar and I think it will be fine to sleep in for just one night. 🙂

Feel Better Soon ~ Love You Always Sir ❤

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Menopause and sexuality

Well since I wrote about the torment of the physical side of menopause I might just as well write on the fun side! LOL

I am lucky in the fact that menopause has seriously upped my sex drive! I mean like teenage boy always just one thing on my mind kind of drive! Couple that with the fact that some of your worry and insecurities disappear and BINGO!

“Sir I want you to tie me up and beat me silly, please!” 😀

We’ve always had a good sex life, I have never been the type to NOT want it but this new level of ‘need’ is beyond even what they write about in books! The BDSM and D/s aspect of our sex life is the truly new thing and very much because of menopause! I know right? Who knew …. lol

I’m still very much a Lady out and about but face me in front of the man I love and all bets are off! The D/s dynamic has made it very easy to act and react just exactly the way I want when He is touching me because apparently He really likes it, what?!?!?  He doesn’t think it slutty or wrong, He admires my sensuality and loves that He is responsible for it. (Oh the crazy misconceptions we live with as women.)

So even though there are a lot of things about menopause that are difficult to deal with, this new found freedom and self acceptance is anything but bad! Mind you menopause only nudged me in that direction, the rest is very much the guidance of my strong and ever caring Sir. I just know that I kept myself on such a short line that I’m not sure I would have ever mentioned any of this to Him without the crazy, filter removing side effects of the menoBeast!

Add to this the hot flashes that have me wearing short shorts and tank tops in the middle of a Canadian winter and let the good times roll!

Love You Sir ❤

 

How menopause affects your Dynamic – Physical Part 1

I really do need to write some more on menopause and D/s, or at least the play aspect of D/s. Some of the physical issues really do affect what and how things are to be done/can reasonably be done. Not everyone is going to have the same symptoms but I can share what mine have been so far and what I have had to learn in order to better deal with them.

Most of my issue really has been the mental aspects of dealing with the physical issues. Let me start by saying I am a bit of a perfectionist and once I decide I am going to follow through with something I REALLY have a difficult time accepting any sort of failure, even if the failure is just in my mind. As part of the ‘warrior’ mentality I do not test, I am not a brat and I would sooner call the whole thing off then play these sort of disrespectful ‘games’. So when I can’t follow through with whatever ritual or schedule because my body has betrayed me I feel guilty and miserable, so I had some self acceptance to learn …..

I was only 36 when my symptoms started to appear and have been dealing with things on and off for about 8 years now! Thank goodness we should be almost done! One of the hardest to deal with is that old injuries seem to come creeping back to life. Things that I thought were fixed and forgotten have decided to show themselves once again and ALL show up at once! Unfortunately I have had more then my share of injuries.

So to put it into perspective, we have a set play time/scene time where some preparations are to be done and then fun is to be had! Woohoo! Except that my back hurts so bad that I literally can not stand straight, my knee aches so that kneeling or any sort of pressure feels like torture and due to an unfortunate chiropractor accident years ago my hip is on fire! So how exactly do I shower and dress and hang prettily from anywhere putting all my focus on Sir? Take a bunch of pain medication? Well that deadens the sensations for everything else too and frankly the amount I need would simply not be safe.

So I need to come to Him and tell Him what is going on and of course He decides not to play, at least not like that which of course is what He should do but I feel defeated! I feel frustrated obviously because I was looking forward to our time, I feel guilty because it is my fault He can’t have what is rightly His, and I feel like I’m letting Him down. And these things normally last for weeks or months at a time before they move on to the next issue that is here to plague you. Needless to say scheduling scenes is not so much part of our dynamic at this time, I can not be sure how I am going to feel and not being able to follow through just kills me emotionally. Our world relies more on taking advantage of the good days whenever they appear and not so much on the notes building up to a set time or scene. I have learned to roll with the punches and enjoy however far we CAN go at any certain time instead of what didn’t happen today!

The menstrual cycle is the same uncertain surprise issue. I never know what is going to happen and when. There is no more every 4 weeks, there is whenever it feels like it! Sometimes just for a few hours, sometimes just to make a mess of the sheets while we play. It is always a surprise and all the regular PMS issues go along with it for however long it has decided to stay this time. (Let’s just say I never go anywhere without protection handy, just in case). So try planning around that ….. right!

There are many more issues, breast tenderness, migraines, loss of sleep, all things that make certain instances of play feel completely different then they do on good days. Most days I can bend around like a pretzel and some days I can barely tie my own shoes. Some days we can play much harder and some days it is more mid range and yet others is just simply not possible at all. Sir might still plan things out but they are more opportunity based then a set time and place which means I do not have a schedule and I do not have all the guilt of not following through for Him.

Please don’t misunderstand me, Sir has never once made me feel guilty for any of this, it is me, it is self imposed, I told you I am a perfectionist. I also hate not being able to control my own body but it was something I had to learn to deal with. The drastic change from one day to the next is really something to try and wrap your mind around but I have found that if I can just ‘roll with the punches’ we are both very much happier.

And you thought trying to plan dinner was hard humm, ….? LOL

Love You Sir Always ❤

Easter festivities done … :)

Easter festivities were short and sweet for us this year. Usually I host but due to some previous events I ended up with the ‘day off’. So we had brunch at a relatives house, I made dessert as usual and we got done early. The rest of the weekend is free and clear, I wonder what fun that holds in store! 🙂

All that aside, I could see just how absolutely pleased as punch you were! I can sense you watching me now, I can see you watching my actions and reactions and how your family responds to me. I know how happy you are when I act polite and social and just positively charming. I can see the pride in your eyes Sir …..

There was nothing overly kinky going on but I could certainly sense your leash on me …. Love You Always ❤

 

 

 

This is what brought me here … what about you?

 

fortheloveofasub:

The Rewards of a Submissive

Much is written of submission on blogs and in chat rooms, and images abound of “submissive’s” and their so-called “Doms.” But what most BDSM sites and blogs present is entertainment, sexual titillation, and at times outright coercion and abuse rather than an exploration of genuine submission and the amazing rewards it can bring to a Dom. Earning the submission of another human being is a process that takes patience, dedication, concern, love, empathy, listening skills, and above all, integrity. But if or when it happens, the feeling is indescribable!

Submission is earned; it is neither coerced or manipulated. And to be meaningful for me, it must come from a woman whom I unreservedly revere and admire. The greater her will, intellect, artistic ability, grace, kindness and beauty, the greater the reward of earning her submission. To that end, earning the submission of such a woman is not the end state but rather just the beginning, because I want more. More of her. All of her. And to do that, she must be allowed to grow to her full potential, which means giving her the space and encouragement to be everything she is capable of being. She is the gift. The better and more whole she is, the more precious the gift to me.

Therefor, to my way of thinking, a submissive is not a slave. Quite the opposite. She is a free being who has chosen of her own will to give herself unreservedly to me. Catching a hummingbird in a net just feels mean spirited and destructive. Having that same hummingbird land on your fingertip of its own accord is a soaring experience. So it is for me with a woman’s submission.

There are many woman (and men) who are so insecure they will throw themselves at the feet of a Dom for mere acceptance and the illusion of love. This is not submission, it is desperation. In it, there is little reward for a Dom beyond pitty and satisfying their own broken wing syndrome; rescuing. This is not submission, it is codependence and is vastly unhealthy for all involved.

But, when a would-be Dom can reach into the mind of a confident, well-read, intelligent and capable woman, captivating her imagination and earning her respect and adoration, magic happens! When she bends her knees of her own accord. When you see the look of adoration in her eyes. When she unreservedly gives you her heart, mind, and soul. Pure Magic!

BDSM, S/M, and D/s imagery focusses most on the physical aspects of the power exchange. This is only natural…it is what the camera sees best. Only the occasional image adequately begins to convey the strength and beauty of the spiritual and emotional bond between a submissive and her Dom. But when it does, it is a special picture and genuinely stands out. Usually the devotion shows first in the eyes and secondarily in the postures of the Dom and/or his submissive. Feelings are so difficult to capture in an image and yet they are the essence of D/s.

In real life, the reward for me of submission is 90 percent mental, spiritual and emotional. When the bond is strong and the challenge of successfully leading a submissive is great, my heart and mind become immersed in the relationship and how to make it stronger and more fulfilling for both of us. My brain is fully engaged. My imagination is energized. My heart beats stronger. I want to be a better man and a better Dom…every day. I want to be all that I possibly can and in so doing inspire and motivate my submissive to strive for her full potential.

D/s between a healthy and confident man and woman (or any combination of the sexes) is an immensely positive relationship. Far from the dark imagery of floggings and physical challenges, it is a spiritually uplifting experience. And with that spiritual bond firmly established between a Dom and a sub, the bodies have no choice but to follow. With the combination of mutual devotion, trust and adoration, comes an environment where all physical experiences and rewards become possible. In that secure space that we create and nurture between us we can indulge in the physical, dance in the darkness, and explore the power exchange in all of its physical manifestations. More magic!

To the submissive – Give your heart, your mind, your soul to the right Dom and he will give you physical and emotional sensations unimaginable.

To the Dom – Lead genuinely with your heart and mind and the body will follow.

Caption © For the Love of A Submissive, 2012

Comparing

~ I originally posted this elsewhere but even though it is not D/s I believe it is every bit as important ~ 

I’m writing this because I keep hearing about it over and over and I guess I just feel like getting my two cents in on the matter.

I think if you are comparing your life and especially your relationship with that of others then you are doing both yourself and anyone with you a great disservice. If you really want to be happy in your life and with your partner you should learn to find the positive things in your life instead of focusing on what you believe to be the negative. People who focus on what the other person is doing or not doing are missing the point entirely if you ask me.

The only one person you can truly control is yourself and the only one person who can make you happy is also yourself. Chances are whatever it is you believe to be a negative is either just a misunderstanding or a reaction to your attitude and behaviour. Let’s face it, most people are not rude or dismissive of someone who makes them feel happy and cherished. I have found over the years that if you are not being treated the way you want it’s either because you yourself need to work on your energy in the relationship or perhaps you are in a bad relationship and should look elsewhere. Normally it’s the first one …

The harder you work in your relationship and yourself the greater the return you will get from it, and the happier you will be. Stop blaming other people for what you are not getting and start looking to yourself. Are you being realistic and feeding the relationship positively or are you just being impatient and childish? You may not always like what you see if you take a true hard look in the mirror, but if you are honest and start to work on changing it you will find it will be well worth your time!

There you have the Coles Notes of it … Cheers!

~n

A Real Dominant

I am forever grateful for the first D/s site that I came across. It was written by a true dominant and full of extremely well thought out and well presented information. I can honestly say that it was his site that made me want to consider this lifestyle.

Now I’ve said before we really did have most of this figured out just naturally between us. The way we act and react with each other has always come naturally to us, at least to me. I don’t count on anyone, never have. I was shown very early in life that only one person was going to take care of my needs and that was me.

You were the first person that I learned to count on and the only one that never made me feel taken advantage of. I don’t think labels or rituals has anything to do with a real dominant. You never gave up on me, you never walked away and lord knows I threw up plenty of road blocks in the beginning. You walked up the the ‘Great Wall of Nijntje’ and pitched a tent, stayed the course. That was over 20 years ago.

Showing me you weren’t going anywhere and you were going to take care of me come Hell or high water, that is the true dominant. Never putting your wants ahead of my needs, that is the true dominant. You were doing all these things long before any label was introduced and that is when I was able to kneel for you. That’s why you have been first in my mind since the day we got together. That’s what I found on the site I was reading, not all this other fantasy that people are trying to imitate now.

A real dominant is much more interested in taking care of His submissive then getting His fantasies lived out. A dominant should never want to make you do anything, a dominant should only accept your actions of submission if they are given freely and without hesitation. A real dominant doesn’t need to make you do anything, a real dominant inspires you to.

When I first read the site I knew that’s what you were. You thought I was crazy …. with all the bad information out there I’m not surprised. You were my dominant long before any sort or kink or ritual was thought of or put into effect. Maybe that’s why we really don’t have issues and maybe that is why I have no problem doing anything you ask. Trust and respect and care come first, everything else is secondary!

Anyone telling you to do it the other way has not earned the right to be called dominant. Contracts, orders and kink do not make you a real dominant.

As for you Sir, you have the right to all of me, anytime, anywhere, anyhow. I have no need to think or worry about whatever it is you ask of me because I know you will always have me first in your mind. That Sir is what makes you a dominant and that is why I will always do anything you ask!

Love You Always Sir ❤

 

 

I just wanted you to know ….

I’m tired, I’m sore, I have too much to do and no time to do it in. I didn’t sleep well and this rain is wreaking havoc with my muscles and joints.

I hardly have the energy to hold myself up and I really need to get my things done! I WILL have everything ready for you before you come home Sir …..

As taxing as this day has been the only real thought on my mind is “How may I please you Sir?”

I just wanted you to know …..

Love You Always Sir ❤

Good Morning Sir

I don’t think I have much on my mind today Sir, just exhausted and looking forward to a nice long weekend with my Master. It is Easter weekend after all, a bunny’s favourite holiday! 😀

Thank you for last night, you always know just how to care for me. I can’t wait to have your hands in my hair and your breath on my skin …. you are truly intoxicating!

Love You Always Sir ❤