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What this site is, and is not.

This is a site about life and getting on with it.

This is a site about how I submit to my husband and how sometimes things get complicated and busy but our relationship stays in tack.

This is a site about how we navigate the TPE in our lives and some of the hiccups and changes along the way.

This is NOT however a site where you will find retells of my sexual adventures.

This is NOT a site where I will tell stories of spankings and red backsides.

This is NOT an erotic or spanking site, there are plenty of those around. This is NOT one of them.

My personal life and sexual adventures belong to One Man only, no one else. He owns that, it is not to be shared.

If that is what you are looking for you need look no further, it is not here. Sorry.

To the rest of the world who has all of a sudden decided to take a peek, welcome! 😀

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So far …

These few weeks back to work have been interesting. Trying to keep up with the ‘dynamic’ energy that we want and keep up with life and responsibilities has not been easy!

For the most part however, Bear seems to be more tuned into His dominant side than He has been in a long time. I don’t think it’s just in my mind although i admit that the shift in thinking for me has been a huge help as well.

Life hasn’t changed much and responsibilities have not lessened, neither has the stress! LoL For some reason however, i think we both have found a nice balance again. There have been a few bumps along the road these two weeks but all in all i feel more connected to my ‘s’ side than i have in a long while as well!

He’s using the ‘tools in His tool box’ more without overthinking it or hesitation and i’m using my communication more without doing the same! So far, it feels really good!

Happy Friday! ❤

A submissive’s pet peeve *laughing*

One thing I hate most about this no panties rule is having to be panty-less and wear a dress!

woman wearing white dress walking on sand
Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Just the other day Bear mentioned that the weather was finally getting warm and He would be requiring me to be wearing dresses again, no panties of course, outside of work.

Now when you wear a flowing dress, you bend over to grab something you see, and when you stand back up the dress has kindly wedged itself in your bum! 😛

I’ve just been reminded of all the times i either squat down to get what i need or i’m quickly pulling and tugging at the material and hoping no one around has noticed!!

Well, no one but one. I’m sure you can all imagine who i catching sporting quite the naughty grin. *sigh*

Pain filled perk!

The second week back to work and Bear is still keeping me on my toes, or ermm …. on my something anyway! *wink*

He left this message for me this morning, to be worn with my morning coffee. OYE!!

Of course, I got up later than usual today and my kid was already rising as well. I could have asked to ‘pass’ on this and pick it up some other time when W wasn’t up already. But if Bear is trying to stay on top of things and keep me engaged, i should try too, right?

W doesn’t normally get out of his room much, he’s a teenager and has all he needs right there! *chuckle* No school or friends to go visit right now so his bedroom has become his ‘man cave’!

Still, doesn’t mean he won’t meander down the stairs for a bite …. so i’m not about to take any chances in getting caught. I’ll have to improvise!

Amazingly enough a sports bra and t-shirt actually hides them quite well! Mind you it also presses and rubs things and intensifies the task for sure!!! :O

He has yet another simple task set for me later, He knows I thrive on pain more so than pleasure, pain is my pleasure. I guess that’s what makes me a masochist! Don’t get me wrong, i like pleasure as well but it’s not the driving force for my submission or my submissive mindset. It’s secondary ….

Next week i go back to work as well, i’m hoping we can maintain this refreshed energy. Normally I take the summers off, due to the current circumstances and need i have decided to work through.

I can’t deny that i’m a bit reluctant.

One thing …..

Just one thing is all it takes sometimes.

He left me one thing to do today, one task for His pleasure. Already my energy has changed and i’m searching to please Him.

He’s not even here! *giggle*

Sometimes all it takes is just one thing …..

No I can’t show you, it’s a bit naughty. *wink*

It didn’t take long and it wasn’t difficult to achieve, but it was His task and with it He has claimed me again!

 

I can throw Him off His throne.

There is something delicate about a dominant that cares, really cares, about the person He is with and the job He is doing.

I think the mainstream term is ‘gas lighting’, I call it manipulation but either way ….

It may be on purpose but I think sometimes it’s just a reaction, a negative reaction to a hard lived life.

The point remains, a submissive can easily dethrone a caring dominant – and a caring dominant can easily be dethroned. That’s where time, wisdom and understanding of your submissive comes into play. The sign of an experienced dominant – OR an experienced submissive!

How do you suppose the Dom learned in the first place?

Yin and Yang – balance – what He holds I yield and what I hold He learns.

Simple, right?? LoL

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touché – lil’rabbit silliness

Poor Bear, don’t know how he puts up with me! 😉

Bear brought these home yesterday ….

me:    ‘ummm, so does this mean you have a harem now!?!? *giggle* 

It took him a minute but …

Bear:    ‘no, those are for you.’ *wink*

I *was* the one who asked for them …

me:    i guess than, i DO!!!    *giggle*    touché! 

Today is a new day.

Having Bear go back to work has s-l-o-w-e-d any obvious kink/D/s to a crawl. Not gone completely, maybe about 60% of the days, but there have been a few factors against us. The days that did involve a more obvious power exchange were still shorter periods of time/intensity than what we had originally discussed. Not that it was a surprise, obviously things changed so plans changed too!

The thing that makes my head spin a bit is that most of the time the PE aspects/orders occur for the time period when he is away! I get it, he’s trying to keep me engaged and occupied while he is away and i appreciate that …… it does feel a bit Bipolar when he gets home and it’s ‘married business/responsibilities’ as usual!

To me one key aspect of being happy in this dynamic is being mindful of what i do have and not focusing only on what i’m not getting that i wish i had. It’s not an easy thing to do, when you have ideas and fantasies and nothing but time to think on them ….. *chuckle* but i am trying!!

Now, i know that i could simply act or do certain things that would probably kick start things at home too. The responsibility for this is not all on his shoulders, it is a two way street and in my opinion that means i need to feed this too.

Like i said though, things get in the way.    *Men may want to skip ahead, female problems ahead! 😛 LoL*

Primarily, i have been in a flareup now for a few weeks/month and i haven’t much energy or ability to do much by the end of day! The couple nights i had hoped to ‘reach over to his side of the bed’ i started bleeding, or so i thought and then it stopped! Gotta love peri-menopause …. never know when/never know how much or how long. The week before things start is always a bad week and now that i’m already in a flare …. yeah it’s been fun! *sarcasm* I have had more kinky plans squashed because of the guessing game that is my cycle these days. Yes, I know you can still if you want to but when i start, it’s like a damn has been broken, not to mention the muscles/cramps become intolerable. Anyhow ….

Yesterday I spent the entire day on the couch, not because of covid, because i am not well. I had plenty of things i wanted to get to but none got done! Sitting around of course just makes me more tired and more sore and the cycle worsens. My ‘everything’ still hurts today but i can’t spend another day on the couch so i’m putting on my submissive thinking cap and trying to figure out what i can do to please him.

Not sure if sex will be on or off the table by the time he gets in, like i said things change in an instant! Sometimes (usually) back again too! *shakes head* But i’m sure i can think of something else he’d enjoy.

He doesn’t expect me to be a service submissive and it’s not like i don’t normally have everything clean and organized, meals made and home well taken care of. All that stuff is just done by whomever happens to be home and able and yes it’s usually me these days but it’s not part of our D/s. It’s simply life responsibilities … plus i might be a bit particular and have some OCD. (No comment needed if you read this, Bear!)

With any luck i’ll get my workout in and get some extra things done. I’m not ‘dressing up’ because we have a chiropractor appointment when he gets in, not really a place to wear a dress! lol The weather has been cold and wet and that keeps my raynaud’s on high making me too cold for that anyway.

Like i said, it’s not easy but i’m trying to focus on what i have and what i can do. Not sure what that will end up being yet but it HAS to be better than sitting on the couch getting more sore and tired!

Happy Friday! ❤

 

 

Happy Anniversary Bear – and mourning a great loss.

Yesterday marked 23 years officially together for Bear and I.  We celebrated much like we celebrate everything else, together. Really that’s all that matters.

A few weeks ago we lost one of the greats in my opinion, a great performer, role model and man. I don’t think many realized just what this man did to help others but I don’t really think he cared. He did it because he felt it was right, the rest as they say …. is history.

Why do I have these two songs? Well, the first helped to get me to where I am and the second I wanted to use for my 25th wedding anniversary because it mean a lot. But, it seems that ‘life’ has moved things ahead for me and so here we are.

Most of you probably won’t relate, but this man ‘raised me’ more than my parents did. I listened to his words even as a small child and they spoke to me, they made sense. As I got older I started to see something that gave me a deeper connection. It has taken me a month to even be able to post something about his passing.

I still don’t have the words but I thought I’d share his …..

Where I started …. where I ended up. I never truly thought it would happen – but 23 years later, here we are! ❤