We survived, how about you?

We’ve had a lovely holiday with family and friends, enjoying the season and each other.
Related imageThere were busy days preparing and planning. I worked right up until the day before we had dinner at the in-laws and I always do the baking so Saturday was spent doing that. All the plans and shopping done before of course and the things ready for eating that day! Yummy!

Lots to do and many people to see and we still felt every bit as connected as always. The shopping we do together, the planning we go over together, the gifts we wrap together, and the baking we do together ….

You can make time for togetherness even when you’re busy if you think on it a bit and you’re not picky about the activity, K.I.S.S works every time!

The oldest had a friend over and he happened to point out to her a note Sir left on the white board in the kitchen for me! It says ‘morning beautiful’ and I turned in time to hear him say “see” ….

I joked with him and said don’t make fun of your old mom and that’s when the friend said ‘no, he talks about you guys all the time, how you get along and stuff. It’s really nice … ‘

The way you act and react towards each other doesn’t have to change, at least I don’t think it does, but then I don’t try to maintain a certain ‘submissive’ attitude or mindset, it’s just part of who I am with Him.  We also don’t do thing that are forced or faked for us so there really is no thinking involved, it’s instinct and that doesn’t disappear when you get busy it actually becomes more apparent.

I think that putting Him in charge of the every day mundane and boring stuff and making it so it becomes second nature to just automatically rely on Him for help and support in EVERYTHING is what makes it easy to feel connected all the time. It makes it so when the kneeling and playing and hair pulling is not possible the real connection is still there!

When we left the in-laws with leftover goodies and kid’s gifts in tow Sir had to go move the truck and back up to the driveway to let me in without having to walk through the snow bank. The thing He noticed (as did I) was that He and the boys were already in the truck and I waited in my heals to be let in and I had to open my own car door. I suppose I could have waited and He could have stopped the truck, come around and let me in even though He was in front of the driveway, the boys were all in and ready and it would have been well, strange really! Our ‘rules’ are in the spirit of not the letter of the law.

The spirit of the rule is that Sir opens doors for me but it was cold out, everyone was ready and the car was running with Him at the wheel so I let myself in …. but it was strange! LOL If it’s pouring rain I let myself in too, why would He want me to wait and get soaked? It’s not supposed to be punishment!

We are on holidays now and making up for some of the more fun ways of being D/s that maybe had to wait their turn, but we didn’t feel less connected, we just now feel more ready to play!!! LOL Yummy again 😀

I’ve had a few other things on my mind too, things that are not D/s or holiday related but I have taken each of those to Him too, and they have all been discussed together even if they can’t be fixed it’s comforting to know I have someone in my corner and someone who will do His best to make sure I’m taken care of and I’m okay come what may. THAT to me is a dominant, that is the man I follow, that is the man I need and want.

Posturing and play is fun, but we have been together 22 years now, this is real life …

So tell me, how did you do ….???



Solved it!

I’m writing this out because it was such a big ‘problem’ for us for such a long time and the solution is so simple that I can’t figure out why I didn’t think of it earlier! There might be others in the same predicament and so I thought it might be worth while putting it down.

Now not everyone has Raynaud’s like I do so the issue might not be as severe but it is certainly not uncommon for women especially to be cold, colder than our male partners. When it comes to play and wearing basically nothing it can be hard to focus and concentrate on all the ‘fun’ we are having or about to have when you are shivering! To put it in perspective, I don’t use touch screens because the device doesn’t recognize my fingers when I try to work with them, my fingers are simply too cold to register and that’s in July!

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Our winters don’t help the situation at all, the weather gets bitterly cold and once that gets into your system it seems to be difficult to shake! So in order to make things comfortable Sir would add extra heating to the room because even though the thermostat read 21 my body was still purple with cold! Unfortunately since I’m cold and he’s not once we got to playing I would be mostly comfortable but chilled and He would be over heating and sweating!  If we turn the heat down I’m now shivering and on the verge of frostbite (yes that bad) and He now comfortable. Quite the issue to resolve as you can imagine. We have used gloves and high socks keeping things sexy but warmer for me although still chilly but that made it so He couldn’t keep an eye on my hands and feet to make sure they weren’t changing colour or in need of release from their confinement. Play might seem like it’s all about Him but the fact is I’m always His first priority, just as it should be! So things normally didn’t go as far or as long as they might have with that uncertainty looming over head.

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It finally occurred to me that the best way to keep me warm and Him comfortable in the same room is simple, start off the play on a heated blanket! My hands, feet and other affected parts can be kept warm without having to turn the room into a sauna. Generally once things get going and my body relaxes the Raynaud’s calms and I basically can be ‘normal’ in temperature. I can then go from whatever position on the blanket to where ever He would like me to continue playing.

At the end of play once the chemicals start changing and my body gets cold He can use the blanket as well as Himself to keep me warm because trying to be infront of me and behind me at the same time is just not something we have been able to work out!! 😛 A blanket works okay but all it does is insulate the cold in for me …. I need to change my body temperature before I can keep warm, so the heated blanket is just the thing!

It’s funny how sometimes things can seem so complicated when really they are not. The answer didn’t occour to me until I saw an add in the local flyer. 😀 And now the issue is pretty much solved … I even found a blanket with a Bear on it!!

Happy Thursday All, keep warm …..  Happy last day of work Sir!

Love You Always Sir! ❤



What a year …..

Well it certainly has been one whirlwind of a year Sir! 2016 is going to be memorable to say the least.

It was about this time last year the oldest got ‘diagnosed’ with a chemical imbalance due to maturing and was put on medication. He was certainly emotionally abusive to me mostly but everyone in the house was on egg shells.

In January Gramma was in and out of the hospital and nursing home, my dad had a bad cough and was later diagnosed with a tumour on his esophagus.

By February my dad had started chemo, Gramma was suffering from Alzheimer’s symptoms and had been put into the nursing home permanently. Our oldest was talking suicide and psychiatric help was found, along with counselling.

March my parents are emotionally beating the crap out of my brother, he’s the only one besides me that has managed to escape the madness but his escape is recent so he relies on me for back up.

April and May are busy with birthdays, anniversaries, Easter etc. and me trying to play referee and keep my brother sane.

June brings doggie trouble, a torn acl and a diagnoses of lots and lots of cash to be spent, so much for summer vacation.

July Gramma takes a serious turn, nights are spent bed side and running back and forth home to check on the dog, her leg gets infected and effectively explodes all over the family room, you at work and me running back and forth to the nursing home and calling the vet. I’m already off work, now there is more cash to be spent.

By the end of July the dog has torn out her other acl, a new surgery is planned, Gramma is slowly slipping away, you’re now off work too and spending day and night at the nursing home with me. More cash to be spent, no cash coming in.

At least the oldest in now living a ‘normal’ teen life, all the moods and depression are well on their way out and he is happier than I have seen in a long while. By the end of the month Gramma has passed ….

August is spent healing, both for us emotionally and the dog physically. The kids seem to be doing alright and it’s time to start planning for the new school year, the youngest is now in high school. He has suffered from anxiety and we wait with bated breath to see how this will go.

September/October things seem to be going okay, evening out. My dad now goes in for surgery to have part of his lung removed, the chemo created a lump that needs to be taken out. We find out the day of Thanksgiving dinner at your brother’s house that the surgery is the following day, we plan a visit to my parents but that falls through, just a little more stress to an already eventful year.

November seems to come and go without notice, starting to gear up for the holiday season, this always brings me to a place of thought and wonder what my next steps should be and how to best spend the holidays. I’m always very involved with your side and we don’t even talk to mine any longer. Not for lack of trying but even I can only handle so much trauma … it has certainly been a stressful one.

Today however I received a text from the oldest:

Andrew E
 E said you’re very pretty

ummm, thank you?!?!  lol

 she’s very pretty too ….
 why are you talking about me …??
Andrew E
 she was talking about her mom and i said that you are a good parent and impressive regarding how your childhood was
 ah, I see
 well thank you then
Looks like 2017 is starting off on a better note, let’s hope it stays that way! 😀
And no, nothing ever went on hold and we were never any less D/s …. the kink might have gone on the back burner at times but our connection only got stronger and helped us through.
Love You Always Sir ❤

You might think ….

If you read my blog you might think that Sir and I are pretty evenly matched. You might think we have a lot of similarities and you might think that’s why we get along so well with no real issues to have to work through. You might think our personalities must be very similar and hence we get along quite easily. The truth is we are pretty much exact opposites when it comes to personality and the way we do things.

I can’t even begin to count how many times it has been pointed out to me that we are so different that people have a hard time figuring out how we get along so well, why we are together. Mind you this usually comes from other men, I have never had a shortage of attention in that respect! Women on the other hand seem to think I’m so lucky and how do I get Him to do all these things!?! Just in case your mind goes there, this was all before kink … I can’t imagine letting anyone have that much control and physical power over me if I didn’t completely trust and respect them first.

Have you ever heard the saying that opposites attract? Well in this case that’s exactly what happened. We are both strong and powerful in our own ways and once we got together the force was just as strong as we are, and good luck taking that apart!

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The secret is staying lined up properly, balanced in this case. How do we do that? Well we talk, we listen, we respect and we value each other. When we use these tools we help each other to learn in grow, we become even stronger still.

I might be one strong bunny but there are many things I have learned from listening and watching my husband over the years. When I stop long enough to wait and listen I grow as a person and all the things that my personality might be missing get filled in by His, and vice versa! Appreciating each others differences instead of pointing them out and complaining has brought us to where we are today. And communicating of course, nothing can be learned if no one is talking. For all the strengths and abilities we each have, neither of us is a mind reader.

I’d like to think I have helped Him to learn and grow in some areas and I know He has helped me do the same. By relying on our strengths and realizing and working on our weaknesses we have become strong and we now move almost as one. And that is why we get along so well and that is why we are happy together! We worked at it …. we never gave up and we never looked elsewhere.


Yes we are exact opposites, that’s why we fit together so nicely!

One more day til your holidays Sir!! Can’t wait 😀 Two more days til mine ….

Love You Always Sir ❤

I’m hurtin’ today ….

Good morning Sir, I’m having a rather rough morning today. I had an awful sleep as you know, my back and hip have decided to flare up, not sure why I didn’t do anything to perpetuate that, that I can recall.

The pain meds did finally help this morning I think I fell asleep just before I had to get up, of course! lol I think I fell asleep because I had a wonderful dream to wake up from.

We were dancing, my hand in yours wrapped around to my lower back, my other hand on your shoulder covered by yours. My head resting on your chest just the way you like and I just remember feeling like I was floating not thinking just following your movements. The song playing was ‘In Your Eyes’ by Peter Gabriel, I haven’t heard it in some time …..

I had to use my pillow to help my hip so I borrowed your pillow to sleep on, I guess my senses took it from there!

Image result for head on his chest Can’t wait til you’re home Sir. I had a bunch of plans I wanted to ask about, the concert band plays tonight, a Christmas special … I was looking forward to dressing up and being with you and showing everyone how much I am Yours! Right now all I want to do is lay in your arms and rest ….

The best laid plans …. oh well!

Love You Always Bear! ❤

Good Morning Sir!

It’s Monday, it’s cold out, lots and lots of things on my mind as always …

Only this that I want to say though:

I love You, I miss You, I can’t wait til you’re home! ❤

Three more work days for you until holidays! If I get any more excited I might just explode!! LOL

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Love You Always Sir!! ❤ ❤

Not sure why …

I’m not sure if it’s the time of year, things I’ve read or things I’ve been working out and going through, but lately I find myself going down memory lane and making a memory scrap-book of our lives together.

These are times that someone else has made it obvious to me that we are not like other people. Someone else has noticed enough to point it out in some way …. This next story is appropriate for the time of year because it was Christmas Eve, at your mom and dad’s as always! 😀

I think it was the first time I really realized that most people (at least around here) don’t do things the way I do, the way we do … You’ve always told me I was different, maybe I have made you different as well? Who knows …

Anyway, scrap-book memory story – Christmas Eve at grandma’s house, talking and socializing, my oldest niece has a ‘game’ she wants to play on/with all the adults. It’s one of those pick a number, pick a name, who’s your best friend, what’s your favourite etc …..

She went through all the other couples in the house and eventually it was our turn/my turn. We went through the questions, one by one until she reached the question “Who is your best friend?”

I said you … she looked confused then replied ‘no, not your husband or who you’re married to, but your BEST friend’. Again I said you … lol She wasn’t very old maybe 10 or 11 so I tried to explain the best way I could that you are and always have been my best friend. That I married my best friend and you are the person I want to hang out with most and talk to.

Image result for marry your best friend

It occurred to me then that she had asked everyone else in the house the same questions and probably a lot of other couples before since her parents are very social, and no one else had given that answer.

I couldn’t imagine giving any other answer …. you are my best friend, my first thought in the morning, first person I want to see and first person I want to share with. You’re my first call when I need and my lover, my husband and now my Master. (I won’t tell her the last one if she asks again this year!)

Other people think it’s strange that we do what we do, I think it’s strange when others don’t. Why would I marry anyone besides my best friend? I guess you were right all along, I guess I am different Sir!

Love You Always Sir ❤



Time for a refresher – for myself.

It’s funny when I read other blogs I can see very clearly and when I get to my own, things start to get too complicated.

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I remember having this issue as a kid in school and now my kids have the same issue (or did when they were little) and I can explain it to them and see it very clearly and quickly, but for some reason you turn the table and put it in my head and I lose track!

Let’s see if I can bring this back full circle …. I have always found things very easy to accomplish, so easy in fact that most times I convince myself it must be wrong or I must be missing something. Everyone else seems to be having a much more difficult time so I must be missing something, right??

As someone pointed out previously, we don’t all wear skirts or use urinals, that would be strange indeed!

Maybe I find this easy because I’m happy, because I’m content and because it’s a good fit for us. The only One who needs to think me submissive is my Sir and the only One I submit to is Him anyway, so if He is happy and fulfilled than I should be too!

I don’t miss much, I serve Him well, I’ve been practicing for some 22 years.

I remember a story from about 10 years back already, we had my brother and his girlfriend over for dinner. Sir always helps me in the kitchen and this evening was no different. There we are working away moving from side to side, reaching and grabbing things as we need them to accomplish a common goal.

My brother there also, standing back as to not get in the way, it was a very small galley style kitchen. All of a sudden he (brother) was very quiet and just watching. I turn to look and he says to me “Holy crap, you guys are like a well oiled machine. You’d think something was going to crash and hit but your motions are such that they almost seem choreographed!”

He proceeded to tell me how impressive it was and he could only hope to one day be so in tune with someone else that they could accomplish even half that much! He was quite amazed that we had no words, no stumbles we just simply moved around each other and with each other in what seemed like one fluid motion.

We’ve had 10 more years to practice since then, why would I expect it to be difficult now?

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I’m setting my brain back to basics, I’m keeping it simple and I’m going with my instincts! So what If I find serving you easy, it doesn’t mean I’m missing something it just means I’m good at it. K.I.S.S!

Love You Always Sir ❤