Calming the mind! Thank you Sir ….

My very first post here, Sept 15, 2015 …. He still keeps the demons at bay. 

I’m not sure how it works or why it helps but my maintenance spankings always seem to calm my mind. Maybe it’s because I know you care enough to take control, maybe it’s because I can let my mind go blank for a time …. mostly I think it’s because I feel like I belong to you.

You always seem so connected to me once you are through, like you just can’t get close enough to me, like I’m inside you. I’m not sure if that’s true or just wishful thinking but it is the way it feels to me. Is this when you feel the most in control of me? Is this one of the times you feel most like Sir?

I think I just need to go through this mess in my mind every so often to keep the demons where they belong I suppose. It’s been so many years now but they still seem to sneak up on me every so often. I’ve been opening up to you so much these past few months that memories I had pushed deep deep down are once again so clear. I’m sure the surrounding drama with everyone else is pushing all this forward as well.

I love being yours Sir. I love the feeling of knowing I am completely yours and you know it and want it. You feel so strong and so safe when you are in that place I honestly can’t think of anywhere I would rather be. Love you always ….

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I think I have decided Sir ….

I’ve been thinking on this site and what to do with it for a while now. I’ve thought about making it private, I’ve thought about deleting it and I’ve thought about simply moving on … I think for now I’m simply going to leave it as is and come back if and when inspiration of the D/s type hits me! LOL (I had to …)

If I get comments or questions I will answer, if not you have nearly 600 posts that you are welcome to peruse. I’ll likely hop in from time to time depending on my mood but for now I think it’s time this rabbit hopped out of Neverland and found it’s way back to the a’maz’ing world of Wonderland! I have a whole other labyrinth calling me and I don’t feel like dividing my efforts.

I’m sure things will hop into this brain, they always do but for now …. 

If you’d like to know what I’m up to just follow the rabbit tracks, and watch for the little cotton tail! *chuckle* happy hunting ! 

Truth of life …

I have a ‘chat’ open on the PC during the day so I can contact Sir and He can contact me, I don’t have a cell phone. It started so the boys could reach me from school if they needed to, it has worked out well to keep us connected as well.

Today He asked me if I was having a slow day, since I can sit and talk for a few minutes.

I said no, not really – I know what time He sits for lunch so I make arrangements to be able to sit and touch base with Him before He has to go and so do I ….

He has been very busy with work, so have I. This is the truth of what makes our connection strong, the little thoughts and decisions made ahead of time so we can touch base for just a few minutes here and there.

A simple action that showed Him once again that He is first on my mind! Time to get back at it ….

Happy Tuesday All!

Love You Always my Wonderful! ❤

Life

I’ve been ‘triggered’ so I am writing this down, in case anyone else missed the point.

Everything I write about has to do with what happens next. What happens when the fantasy wares off and real life takes hold once again. How do you make it last?

I don’t write about rules or rituals or protocols, I don’t write about kink and I don’t write my sexual escapades … I write about the real life nitty gritty boring everyday stuff. The stuff that happens and you need perspective on if you want to keep the feeling of that new and exciting dynamic without feeling let down or exhausted!

Yes, it is the small stuff that keeps it real, but only if you put it in perspective and make it mean something! You want to be bored? You will be … You want to make it mean less? It will ….

The smallest actions meant everything at the beginning, after a while they become usual, normal, basic …. The action hasn’t changed, you have!

Perspective …

Raspberries for Sir! LOL <3

Posted this May 2016, this weekend brought the post back to mind. That was fun Sir 😀 ❤

Did you know ….

… and they also cause large smiling faces on Sir! Especially if accompanied with a slight blush!

Generally it starts on the top cheeks, but depending on Sir’s mood could potentially move lower!!  😛

Love You Always Sir ❤

It IS the small stuff that makes it real.

I keep saying that the truth of submission is not about kneeling, or service or following orders, not for me anyway. The truth of my submission is about mindful actions, truth and honesty. The truth of my submission is about trust and openness.

Something happened this morning, something that didn’t work out very well for me, something that I knew had to be discussed. It wasn’t a long discussion, it wasn’t even complicated or in-depth but it was something that would likely cause Sir some guilt, maybe some feelings of letting me down, feelings that I don’t want to make happen for Him, that’s for sure.

I suppose I could have kept it to myself, it wasn’t exactly the end of the world. I could have decided He didn’t need to know, that it wasn’t a big deal, that I could work it out on my own. Yes, I could have simply let my submission be a cloak that sits on top of the real me, my real thoughts and feelings.

I got up, I spent two minutes telling Him what happened and what I thought and felt about it. The news wasn’t something He wanted to hear but He did need to know.

The news wasn’t great, but that fact that we share that close and honest a connection is! I trusted Him with all of me, I promised to give Him all of me. I won’t disrespect Him but choosing what He needs to know and what He doesn’t.

All of me. All the time. His.

It wasn’t a big deal really, but keeping it to myself would have been.

Happy Friday All!

Thank you for listening Sir! Love You Always ❤

True ‘this’ and true ‘that’

You know what drives me a bit nutty? When I hear the terms ‘true submissive’ or ‘Real dominant’ – bleh!

Everything in life is a choice, everyone has it in them to be and do whatever they like.

I don’t care for linear thinking, I don’t care for narrow mindedness …

To be just one thing, all the time? Boring …..

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I’m ambidextrous, you are not. Just because you can’t doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist!

Rant done …

Admiring and Respecting you Sir – With All my Love

I’ve been having some Déjà vu and it’s got me thinking about the path that brought me to where I am now, today in my life and in my relationship with my husband, my Sir. ❤ 

I wrote this in October 2015 after hearing Him say over and over ‘oh, those eyes ….’ *giggle*  He can see when I’m completely lost in Him and this was my explanation of ‘those eyes’.

I finally let my fantasy become my reality because YES, Yes I can have both! 

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I’m happy, truly happy! I feel loved and protected …. I feel safe. I feel like I can trust you I feel like I can count on you.

My heart doesn’t hurt, my head doesn’t ache …..

I admire you and your strength more than you can imagine and I have more respect for you then anyone in this world. You are my ONE, you always have been!

Those are the ‘eyes’ Sir and I only have them for you….. Love Always

Something I can’t have

I need something now, something more, something calming, something I can’t have.

I might not be able to have it all just now but I can have some.

Sir gets up much earlier than I do, for a bunch of reasons I am not expected to be up with Him.

Today I needed more, today I got up anyway, in just my big collar and sat on the floor beside Him while He prepared for work.  For just a brief time today He was He and I was me ….

After some time He tucked me back into bed and left for work, I finally got an hour of sleep before having to be ready for work.

Today, for just a little while …..

Today ‘I’ was His surprise love note …… it will have to do.

Love You Always Sir ❤

 

It’s not all kneeling and collars …

I’ve thought about writing this post for a while, or something like it but I never quite know where to go with it. Since I haven’t anything else pressing right now and the rain is keeping me indoors I thought I’d give it a try.

I have read my share of tales of what a Master/slave relationship looks like, or a Dominant/submissive one looks like but they normally revolve around a lot of kink, a lot of play or sexual encounters of some form or another and a lot of rituals and protocols. They all sound very interesting and enticing at times for certain, but completely unrealistic for us here and now.

I suppose in this light my submission to my husband is much less obvious. This also means that I have to be much more mindful to keep the feeling when the overt actions and reactions are not so forth coming. Let’s face it, it’s much easier to feel like you are being submissive when you get to walk around naked and adorned with their special style of jewelry while performing everyday tasks. We do get to sneak in some of that kink every so often but certainly not as the main event on a daily basis!

So what is it actually like for me? Well for the most part it’s simply the fact that He is first on my mind at all times really. Even the most basic of things crosses my mind first in the respect of how would Sir feel about it, or what would He prefer to see happen. Every morning I check my messages and either respond to His ‘good morning beautiful’ or I say good morning first, sometimes His work hits first thing before He gets a chance. Not often but it does happen.

When I get dressed I think about what He likes to see me in and what I haven’t worn for Him in a while. He likes lots of styles and things so I like to change it up and surprise Him for when He walks through the door.

The first room He sees is the kitchen normally when He gets in so I try to have it clean and tidy before He gets home. It’s not always possible depending on how crazy my day has been but the dishes are always done and I try very hard to be sure the room is neat! I think it adds to the effect of a hug and a smile and a ‘welcome home Sir’!

When He is home I make sure to stop and look and listen when He talks to me. I admit it’s not always the most exciting news (sorry Sir :P) but if He is taking the time to talk to me than I should show enough respect for Him to stop what I’m doing and listen. If I have a response I try to be sure it’s thoughtful, not dismissive or anything else rude.

I’ll leave little notes for Him here and there from time to time, to surprise Him and let Him know I’m thinking about Him. That always seems to put a big smile on His face, and He’s always sure to tell me so! 😉

I always cook dinner of course but I’m sure to have enough for His lunch the next day! He prefers home-made to anything else and it’s healthier so why wouldn’t I? Apparently He gets asked more often than not if He brought enough to share while He’s at work. Pretty sure that makes Him proud to have me too …. 😉 *giggle*

Yeah, it’s not really kinky, or collars or obvious I suppose, but He is always first on my mind!

Love You Always my Wonderful Sir! ❤