Not less D/s, not on a break …

I’m going to start by saying I’m a bit stressed so if you are sensitive or take things personally, please stop reading …

I have just gone through the most stressful and heartbreaking couple of months in my content adult life. The last couple of weeks in particular have been some of the hardest I have ever dealt with.

I long ago gave up on wishing for or hoping for things for myself, but the one thing I have always been good at was taking care of others. The one other I cared most about caring for was my Grandmother. I strongly believe that this woman gave me my morals and my values, she gave me my strength enough to even make it to adulthood and she was certainly the Matriarch of this family. With her help I was able to grow into the strong and able person I am today …. and she was dying. How stressed do you suppose I am ….???

Through all of this time, especially once things became evident that the end was near, our D/s was still strong. My commitment to my husband and to my lifestyle didn’t falter, it didn’t go on hold …. the sex, the kink and the flirting might have taken a back seat but the dynamic was/is intact. I didn’t go to Him less, I counted on Him more ….

His job, in my opinion, is to take care of me, and so I let Him. If I needed something I told Him and if I was having an issue with something or dealing with something then I told Him that too.  I might have had a little more trouble dealing with the small irritations of life but I didn’t scrap my manners and decorum … (I’m pretty sure I had a slight tone in my voice a couple of times, I know I did in my mind), our rules and rituals were still adhered to and all manners and ‘places’ were intact as well.

I guess that’s why I’m an advocate for making sure your rules are real and matter, to you both, because if they do then even in the face of the most challenging times your D/s can still be intact and still be something you can both count on to pull you through.

D/s is not kink, it is not sex, it is not unyielding and it is not cruel or unmoving … at least mine is not! It should be good for you both and it should make you stronger and more sure in the face of trauma and stress, not less. Your D/s connection especially as a submissive should give you a safe place to fall when you need strength, it shouldn’t make you overwhelmed or unsure … you should run to it, not away from it.

So no, I really don’t understand when people say that life has taken over and my D/s had to take a back seat because to me that is when my D/s is at the forefront. It might not be kinky or sexy but I’m sure as f*ck counting on Him to lead!

Love You Sir ❤

 

 

 

 

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Rest In Peace Vóvó

Gramma passed away today, peacefully and surrounded by family and love. I’m not sure if there is any ‘good’ way but under the circumstances I guess this would be all we could ask for.

She was a tough lady with a heart of gold, she didn’t mince words but she wasn’t cruel either. Always wanted the best for those around her and never let anything stop her from being the best person she could be.

A hard worker and never a complainer, if there was a job to do you could bet she had her sleeves rolled up and at the ready …. with a smile on her face and a song in her heart.

When I grow up vóvó I want to be just like you ….. You will always be in my heart!

Good night Dear One ❤

 

Strength

Not sure if anyone is watching or any one cares …. (besides Sir) but I just wanted to let you all know that my Grandma, who gave me my strength and wisdom and character and value is dying …..

So I will be busy, and emotional and maybe even a bit rude …. or short. I don’t want to ruffle any feathers but at this point I don’t care to try and not …

Sir has been strong and secure and able, but to say that He is not stressed would be a lie. And to say that I don’t notice, would be a lie ….. but we are dealing!

So this is look out? Sorry in advance … I don’t know …. but if I don’t sound like me you’ll have to excuse me.

Good night!

 

Revitalized

 

Just one of the benefits of a good spanking! 😀 I’m not sure why exactly it works (I assume the endorphins released have a lot to do with it) but it always seems to recharge my batteries when it is done correctly.

When your mind is with mine and your body moves with purpose the effects of a good spanking are really something I can’t copy anywhere else (excepting a full on scene) and the amount of time it takes is really negligible in the grand scheme of things!

It’s not just a mood booster, because I’m rarely in a bad mood or mindset in the first place, but it resets my energy levels. It makes my sore muscles disappear and it makes my tired self alive and ready to take on the world. I feel refreshed and bright-eyed, I guess we’re just missing the bushy tail!!! LOL

Busily waiting for you to get home! I have lots of energy and I’m getting things done!!! And yes my mood is good too … woohoo

Love You Sir ❤

Happy Saturday!! Off to a wonderful start!

I had a wonderful night last night, talking to Sir and explaining to Him what I was hoping would happen and how I would like to try and play/experiment with some new and different toys! This morning He ‘surprised’ me with some play and fun before we even got out of bed. It was awesome!! 😀

I’m not the type to stay quiet or stew about things all by myself in a corner somewhere, I figure that I am ultimately in charge of my own destiny and just because I have given over control to my husband (consensually) it doesn’t mean I no longer have a responsibility for myself or that I no longer have rights! I guess that’s what makes me the warrior, no BS here, just honest, open and strong.

I’m very much hoping for a good spanking today at some point, I do enjoy it but more so it really helps to center and calm me! I don’t get in trouble so discipline spankings are really pretty much nonexistent. The last time I misbehaved and earned a spanking was 11 months ago, and the plan is to keep it that way! As much as I enjoy spanking I do not enjoy punishment!!!

Love You Sir!! ❤

 

Toys, toys, toys ….

If I’m completely honest I really could take them or leave them. I don’t have a great relationship with ‘toys’ in the bedroom.

I like impact instruments and bondage and the more the merrier but when it comes to other toys I guess maybe I/We just haven’t taken enough time to figure out how to use them so that I/We enjoy them …

I would like to try to play more sensually, I would like to play with the variety of toys that we have and try to figure out which ones we like and which ones perhaps we could incorporate more often into play! 😀

I know for certain that I am not interested in ‘the magic wand’, the idea turns me off completely Sir! (I know you already know this, it’s more for the benefit of other readers.) It seems like a cheap, hurry up and get it done means to an end to me. If you can’t be bothered to work with my mind and body to get me off then just don’t bother. Incorporated into some impact play or the like, sure, but just to hold it there until it works, well no thank you!

I would like to play, I would like to explore and I would like to have fun just experimenting and trying new things, or things we just haven’t gone back to in a while. I know my body is forever changing and so I would like to change with it …

I think I’m confident enough now to be honest about what I like and what I don’t, I can communicate to you my desires (perhaps with a bit of coaxing) and likes and we can have fun with this together?

Can’t wait to see what you decide Sir! Happy Friday!!

Love You Always ❤

 

Happy Friday Eve Sir!

Getting excited for the weekend again 😀 you did a good job of helping me shake the grumpies … I like it much better this way!

Is it bad that I want it all? I want the deep meaningful connection, and I want to be everything for you and make sure all your needs are met AND I want you to rock my world in bed, and make me the happiest girl on the planet!

Sometimes I get the impression that a few people out there think you can’t do both. Why can’t I be at your service and meet your every need at the same time have all mine met as well? Where is it written that you can only either serve successfully or take care of yourself successfully? Of all the books ever burnt, I say that should have been one …!

As for me, I’m perfectly happy being perfectly happy and meeting all your needs and desires at the same time. But then, I never was one to follow the crowd ….

Love You Always Sir ❤

 

Good Morning Sir, Happy Tuesday!

I’d say there isn’t much on my mind but then I’m going to end up writing an entire post so I’m not going to say that, this time! lol If these are when I don’t have much on my mind I can’t imagine how long it would be if I did!

I didn’t have a great sleep last night, the night sweats (hot flashes) are back again I think. I’ve been noticing more and more awake hours and I’m uncomfortably hot! I guess they are here to stay for now. Can you please move the fan back up to the dresser Sir? It always helps to alleviate the issue …  the kids were up all hours again too, so the hall light was also an issue.

So here’s to a quick work day, seeing my guy, and curling up …. with any luck you will still have some energy at the end of the day! *wink wink*

I must be going through some more changes because I’m feeling like I’m ‘dropping’ and fighting off the grumpies more often than I would like Sir ….

Love You Always ❤

 

Collared

It’s been a year now that I have worn my symbolic ‘collar’. They are bracelets actually/ cuffs. It was kind of a fun kinky idea as well as a meaningful one. It was something we added long after we had already realized we were D/s, we were 24/7, we were not only playing kinky games …. it was much more a part of us then we had previously admitted.

I think it was when Sir truly and honestly took complete responsibility, complete control of me. It was when I truly stopped having any sort of ‘other plan’ when it came to my Sir and my life with Him.

‘If something doesn’t work out, well I guess Sir will just fix it. If Sir needs my help or input, He will let me know.’ These were and are the truest and deepest thoughts with respect to my husband, to my Sir. I really have given over all control ….

I have no safety net. If He lets me go, I will surely fall. Trust!

I used to play with, touch my bracelet all the time, playing with the screw, making sure it was secure. Sir used to ask me all the time if it was okay, if it was bothering me …. Eventually, once He got to truly understand me He knew I was just making sure it was still there, making sure I was still His.

I still touch it all the time. There are two now, W/we decided we liked the look of being cuffed …. a symbol of my commitment to Him, His commitment to me.

They are strong and secure but they are subtle. They are obvious to anyone who looks but not blatant or thrown in your face. They are a perfect representation of our D/s, of us.

 

My ‘collar’ hasn’t left my body in 1 year, 12 months, 365 1/4 days, 8 760 hours, 525 600 minutes …. and neither have you left my thoughts Sir!

Love You Always My Wonderful ❤

 

 

 

Things that make you Sir …

I’ve been thinking about the truly important things that make you my dominant, my Sir. The things that mean so much more than kink or sex or formal protocols …

Being a dominant is a lot of hard work, at least being my dominant is. I don’t follow just anyone … hell I don’t follow anyone period! If you’re not good enough, no I won’t follow you! It’s that simple. I’m a warrior, I’m a dominant and YES my dominant has to have all those qualities and more for me to be submissive, for me to follow HIM.

Some might say that maybe I’m not a true submissive, well maybe you’re right, I’m not! To anyone else I wouldn’t be. There is only one for me, there is only you Sir.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I reassess or constantly challenge or need to forever decide to submit. That is not the warrior personality at all, once I decide upon a Dominant I stick to my choice, but my choice was not made lightly. I’m saying that it takes a very special, strong and stable person in order to earn the title.

Now that you have earned it you have excelled in all aspects of that title Sir! You take care of me emotionally and physically. You actively pay attention to what’s going on around me so that you can help manage and guide my way through life. You stay close enough to be responsible for me but hold back far enough to let me explore and grow. You pick me up when I just can’t seem to find the strength to keep going and you make me feel like your one and only.

You don’t shy away from your responsibilities even when they might make you uncomfortable, you don’t put me off and you don’t shut yourself off from me. I can see that you are constantly challenging yourself to be better …. and you make me want to be better too!

You are so much more than ropes and chains and kinky sex Sir, and it’s been much too long since I gave you a proper thank you!

Love You Always ❤