I’m going to start by saying I’m a bit stressed so if you are sensitive or take things personally, please stop reading …
I have just gone through the most stressful and heartbreaking couple of months in my content adult life. The last couple of weeks in particular have been some of the hardest I have ever dealt with.
I long ago gave up on wishing for or hoping for things for myself, but the one thing I have always been good at was taking care of others. The one other I cared most about caring for was my Grandmother. I strongly believe that this woman gave me my morals and my values, she gave me my strength enough to even make it to adulthood and she was certainly the Matriarch of this family. With her help I was able to grow into the strong and able person I am today …. and she was dying. How stressed do you suppose I am ….???
Through all of this time, especially once things became evident that the end was near, our D/s was still strong. My commitment to my husband and to my lifestyle didn’t falter, it didn’t go on hold …. the sex, the kink and the flirting might have taken a back seat but the dynamic was/is intact. I didn’t go to Him less, I counted on Him more ….
His job, in my opinion, is to take care of me, and so I let Him. If I needed something I told Him and if I was having an issue with something or dealing with something then I told Him that too. I might have had a little more trouble dealing with the small irritations of life but I didn’t scrap my manners and decorum … (I’m pretty sure I had a slight tone in my voice a couple of times, I know I did in my mind), our rules and rituals were still adhered to and all manners and ‘places’ were intact as well.
I guess that’s why I’m an advocate for making sure your rules are real and matter, to you both, because if they do then even in the face of the most challenging times your D/s can still be intact and still be something you can both count on to pull you through.
D/s is not kink, it is not sex, it is not unyielding and it is not cruel or unmoving … at least mine is not! It should be good for you both and it should make you stronger and more sure in the face of trauma and stress, not less. Your D/s connection especially as a submissive should give you a safe place to fall when you need strength, it shouldn’t make you overwhelmed or unsure … you should run to it, not away from it.
So no, I really don’t understand when people say that life has taken over and my D/s had to take a back seat because to me that is when my D/s is at the forefront. It might not be kinky or sexy but I’m sure as f*ck counting on Him to lead!
Love You Sir ❤
nijntje & The Bear 