Dragons, Warriors and rabbits – The complex simplicity of my freedom under His domination.
What a wonderful weekend with my favourite person! 🙂 I enjoy being yours and I am feeling your dominance more and more naturally all the time.
I can’t think of one thing I would change, it all seems so natural and so complete I can’t wait to be with you every minute of every day! I feel like I’m walking around in a fairytale or some sort of romance novel minus the drama! lol
I couldn’t possibly do this with anyone else, ever! You are one of a kind Sir! 😀
Love You ❤
Last night was wonderful Sir and I wanted to thank you! I must admit that you did confuse me for a minute and then almost made me giggle!
At one point you said ‘don’t worry’ and I though what? Of course I’m not worried, you’re in control and I trust you completely, why would I worry? lol Maybe you didn’t know that yet …. 😀
I can’t wait to see what you have in store for Friday! It will be interesting trying to work with you in the house!
Are those kinky wheels turning …. ? hummm
Love You Sir ❤
For me the sex, kink and BDSM are the by-products, they are not the driving force behind a long term or married D/s or M/s relationship. In order to remain submissive while you’re grocery shopping or vacuuming the house it can’t all revolve around your sex life. Let’s face it, most of us receive no sexual gratification from dusting the living room! This one is for you her subject, always making me think! 😉
The true sexual aspect of D/s relationships is that both parties are open and honest enough to trust each other with their wants and needs in the bedroom. You trust that your partner is communicating with you in order for you to best please them and you as well communicate with your partner in order for them to please you. There is no hiding, no worry that the other will be upset or take it the wrong way, there is just honesty and trust. (Your needs may have nothing kinky to them, that does not make you less D/s it just makes you not kinky.)
The work involved in remaining submissive in the rest of your day to day activities is where the weekend warrior varies from the married submissive (and dominant). Putting your best foot forward for a short period of time is one thing, staying that way 24/7 is another all together. What keeps you in the right mindset when your dominant is not around or when there is nothing overtly submissive/dominant going on?
For me it’s a simple concept really although the execution does take some time to figure out. Stop putting yourself first. Simple. Stop thinking you should have had this, or should have had that. He/She is supposed to put more time into you and your needs, your wants, etc. etc. What have you done just for the sake of pleasing them, with no expectations attached? It’s like giving a gift and expecting to get one back, bad motivation. You should do it because you want to, because it makes you feel good and nothing is expected in return. If you truly do not have expectations there is no let down.
Secondly make the most of what you do have. Be thankful for the time you get, the play you get, the kind words that come your way. Focus on what you do have instead of what you didn’t get. Life in general will be much more gratifying if you choose this way of being. Find the positive in all situations no matter what they are. Maybe you need to be creative to find a few minutes with your dominant and when you do enjoy it! If you spend the whole time fretting about the fact that it’s not long enough then you have just completely missed an opportunity to connect.
Thirdly be respectful, kind and patient. You should strive to be this way always in my opinion. We often jump to conclusions about what motivates others to speak and act in a certain way but you don’t know. Maybe they have had a bad experience that they are trying to deal with. Perhaps they are not on their best behaviour but does that make it okay for you to do the same? At the end of the day there is only one person you can control and one person that can truly control you! Look in the mirror, are you happy with who you see?
I can only speak from my own experience here but I can assure you that regardless of the amount of kinky or non-kinky sex, time spent together or time spent apart, overtly dominant showings or none at all; I always feel a connection with my dominant, I always feel like I am doing my job as a submissive and I always feel like I belong to him. I am being the best person I can be and He can be proud of me and proud to have me. So I walk around with a smile on my face and a song to sing …. and none of it is dependent on kinky sex. 🙂
Love You Always Sir ❤
To me being or staying in a positive mind space is a perpetual work in progress. I have been practicing for many years and have found a few simple but effective ways of really working on remaining there and in turn, submissive to Sir.
I find a lot of similarities between things that help me remain submissive and things that help me remain happy in general with life:
I know you have heard it many times, but have you really put it into practice? And what is the small stuff anyway? Well if it’s not detrimental to your physical or emotional well-being then it is probably part of the small stuff. So think, is it really worth getting yourself worked up about? At the end of the day is it really going to change your life so drastically? If not then let it go …
A little tough love guys! Is this thing you are worried about really what you say it is? Is someone trying to upset you or make you feel bad or are you just taking it that way? Have you taken the time to figure out what it is you want and communicated it to the other person, or are you expecting them to read your mind and fix ‘it’ for you in some fictional ‘knight in shining armour’ scenario.
It takes much more strength and makes you look much better to be a kind generous person than to be hurtful and cruel. You might think that venting your anger is just what you need at that moment but it always makes you feel worse about either yourself or the situation, and normally both. And if you follow the previous two ideas you might find yourself less and less angry/upset all the time.
My experience has long been that most worries and stresses are self-imposed from keeping up with the Jones’ and having to put forth a certain standard to thinking you haven’t met someone else’s expectations. The truth is most people don’t notice you enough or put enough importance in what you are doing to really care.
Whatever they did or didn’t do almost always has nothing to do with you personally, so don’t take it as such. If they are truly trying to get to you well, why are you letting them? You choose who you listen to and who you don’t, so take responsibility for yourself here.
If the person you’re taking about is your loved one then they probably didn’t do it (whatever it is that you have chosen to stress about or get upset about) on purpose. So communicate with them in a calm manner and see what happens. But again, be honest with yourself, you need to know at the very least what the real issue is and preferably what you need in order to fix it before they can even start to help you. Like I said earlier, they can’t read your mind.
All of these things have kept me in a happy, even mind-set which makes remaining submissive so much easier. If anything does happen then the open honest self-reflection and communication helps fix it quickly. Yes it is work but anything worth having is worth the work.
Looking forward to your thoughts Sir! ❤
I want to be dominated by you in all sorts of ways, some subtle some not. Some sexual and some just because I feel that way about it, silly maybe even but mine.
I want your hands on me every chance you get, letting me know that I belong to you and most importantly that you want me. Touching me whenever you feel like let’s you know I belong to you, you have power over me. It lets me know that you want me, find me irresistible, can’t get enough of me.
I want you to take over some tasks without asking. You know what needs to be done, you don’t need my permission so please just do them. It shows me you’re paying attention to my life, you know how I need it organized and you have decided to go ahead and take that responsibility on for me. Very hot and sexy to me to know that you are in control.
I want you to take me, tell me what you want and just do it. Be a little selfish once in a while, it’s hot! It gives me that ‘holy cow’ feeling of who is this beast that is having his way with me? I’m so helpless and girlie! I hope he is a gentleman underneath or I might be in trouble …. 😉
I want you to keep telling me how much you like me and how I’m pleasing you. I need to hear that ‘good girl’ in your voice and in your words. I want you to know it makes me happy to please you and when you show me or tell me I don’t need to second guess myself. I want to know what your wishes are so that I can do things for you regardless of how silly or twisted! 🙂 You have enough faith and trust in me to open up and get what you want from me…. If it makes you happy, I want to know.
I want to see you taking care of yourself and speaking up for yourself when the occasion arises. You’ve never been rude and you’ve never been domineering so go ahead! Have your say and get what’s rightly yours. You deserve to have things the way you want and and no one is going to argue other wise. Strut a little, it looks good on you!
I want you to think ahead and plan ahead – I have given that over to you …. I’m not saying I want you to do everything, that would be unfair. I want you to tell me which things you want me to do for you. You decide, you’re in control, if you want me to handle it then I will and you can sign off. No one said you can’t delegate when you are the Boss.
And right now I want mostly this:
Love You Sir! ❤
I’m not sure I have anything really on my mind to talk about today. Kind of been in a fuzzy head space lately, mostly tired and sore I guess.
I guess I’m hoping you’ll do the dominant thing and take over for me now, because I’m kind of running on empty. Finding it hard recently to concentrate on things that need to be done and things that need to be talked about etc.
Feeling like I’m just passing the time …. I need a vacation! 😀
But it is Thursday!
I don’t understand the idea of having a Dominant, be it Sir/Master/Mistress/Daddy and not thinking that it is okay or necessary even to communicate all your thoughts and feelings with them. The fact that they are in charge of all your wants and needs makes it necessary for them to know what they are.
Assuming this agreement has been entered into consensually I would also assume it’s because it’s reciprocal and both parties are getting their needs met. If that is the case then why would one not want to know what’s going on with the other at all times? How can your Dominant possibly be effective and a positive force in your life if they are only working with half the information? Essentially you are only telling them half truths ….
As a slave in particular I find it extremely important to communicate all my thoughts. I recognize that in my mind I will do whatever is asked of me any time, any where, without regard for my own feelings on the matter if that is what Sir wishes. (He doesn’t like me to refer to him as Master, so I do not.) I also recognize that He wouldn’t want to hurt me mentally or emotionally especially if he had no idea what was going on. I could only imagine this would bring on huge amounts of guilt and uncertainty once it was found out. I want to serve Sir, not hurt him.
Sir’s job is to take care of me mind, body and soul along with getting whatever he wants and desires from me. If I withhold part of me from Him then He is only doing half His job, and I am failing as His slave.
As much as I’m sure you would love to roll around in bed all day or hang out on the couch with me at your feet, there are many responsibilities that just need to be met. So when life starts to take over and the alone time is just not coming how do you keep that close connection that we all want so badly?
Well part of being a submissive to me is being at your service, and not just sexually. When things need to be done I try my best to stay close to you any way I can. If you’re working in the yard or on a project in the house I will try to bring you a cup of tea or some water at different times throughout the task. I’ll sit in the room with you for a while and ask about what you are doing or how it is going. I might ask if I can help if it is something I might be useful in. If you’ve been working at it a while I can bring you some lunch, or just a quick snack to keep you going…. or I might just walk up and give you a kiss on the cheek to let you know I’m with you.
If your task is away from the house I can try to come with you to help out. Most times there is no reason why I can’t and I imagine you appreciate the offer as well. If for whatever reason I can’t come along I can always stop by with coffee or lunch etc. or just send you a text letting you know that I’m thinking about you. If I’m home while you’re out I can focus on getting things done so that when you do arrive we can both take some time to reconnect.
Any of these things can be done if we’re alone or around family and friends. They all keep a connection between us that we both want so badly and they allow me to please you and feel like I’m still yours. Instead of focusing on what I’m not getting I try to focus on what I can do! Maybe I can even plan a small surprise for when you get home and greet you at the door with a smile.
If the small things make the biggest differences for us, I’m sure they do for you too!
Thank you for going around the block instead of straight home when one of my favourite songs came on the radio! You turned it up and kept driving just so I could enjoy it even though you had to listen to my horrible singing! 😀
You’ve always been the best thing in my life and I love you with all my heart and soul Sir! ❤
nijntje & The Bear 