Being in the ‘lifestyle’ means you lose your common sense??

I’m strictly thinking out loud here and reacting to things I have read. I am sure (or at least I certainly hope) that there are many people out there finding their way around and still using the thing a top their necks …. but there also seems to be a group that is not.

So tell me, just because you put the word ‘kinky’ or ‘dominant’ (Daddy/Sir/Master or what have you) into the mix when you are looking for a new life partner all the things that you have learned about safety and dating and getting to know someone first goes right out the window? Really?

If you (and I mean women because I happen to be one so that is obviously my perspective) were in a vanilla situation and meeting a man for the first time would your instincts tell you to go ahead and meet in a private home or hotel room? So you’ve chatted for a while and had ‘face time’ or some other video encounter, would you think it was appropriate to go somewhere alone? If you are looking for more than just a casual sex relationship would you be starting off taking about anal and blow jobs and such? Would you not have a whole lot of red flags going off inside your brain?

So you want a D/s or M/s relationship because you want it to be deeper and more meaningful than your vanilla relationships but for some reason they get a ‘pass’ for all the ‘good guy’ first parts? In my opinion a good Master must first be a good Man!

Your mamma was right, if you want more than just a fling, keep your panties on! If he can’t be bothered to get to know you first how is he supposed to be the one who cares for you? If he has no interest in waiting, he likely has no interest in staying ….

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Wisdom is important regardless of what flavour you choose, and truth never changes.

If you wouldn’t do it vanilla, don’t do it now …. If it’s too soon vanilla, it’s too soon now … if you think he is using you vanilla, he is using you now. If he’s not what you want while in and amongst vanilla, he is NOT what you want now!

And if you haven’t listened to anything else at least listen to this. Even if you haven’t consented to being bound don’t you think he can overpower you easily …. saying you can handle yourself doesn’t make you a tough @ss, it makes you a dumb @ss. Just how many horrible stories have to be written before you take heed?

Ladies please, use your common sense!

Why just one?

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I’m an artist, a music lover, a business owner … I love math and science, I love to read. I am a mother, a counselor, a friend …

I can be your best ally and I can be your biggest curse. I am relentless, I am stubborn and I am fearless.

I am cautious and I’m a thinker …. I can be strong and tough as nails or I can be vulnerable and emotional ….

I’m a chef and I love to bake! And I hate to say it but I’m raising a ‘foodie’ …

I’m a feminist, I’m an activist …. I am dominant, I am so many things ….

I am a wife, a lover and His nijntje …..

Why would I put all my time and effort into worrying about being ‘submissive’ all the time? I am submissive to the one who earned it and when it is required but the rest of the time I am me …. fierce, fiery and a warrior.

Why would anyone want to wear just one hat???

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I really don’t mind if you don’t understand.

Found my muchness ….. Love You Sir ❤




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Blah, blah, blah ….      Yak, yak, yak ….

I really don’t know ….       I really don’t care ….

Ready to go hide inside my head for a while, you either know what I mean, or you don’t. I usually feel like I’m talking to myself anyway …. they say that’s not a good sign! 😛

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Don’t worry DOM types, I never get into trouble, or misbehave or bratt or anything …. I don’t act out and I don’t get bitchy. I just Carry On …..

I’m supposed to write something for you but I got nothing! Sorry.

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1. not satiable; incapable of being satisfied or appeased:
I could pretend that is does something almost ‘spiritual’ for me, I could pretend it’s for the greater and deeper understanding of myself, I could pretend it’s to satisfy a hunger I think He has …. and I can fill.
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Hungry Wolf by Joe-Lynn-Design
Or I could just be honest and say I want to …. period.
Happy Weekend all! I’m on the hunt …. 😀

I feel like dancing … :D

Someone got me thinking music again Sir … not that I need much encouragement for that! 😉

“All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They’re all I can see

I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all”

Read more: Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars Lyrics | MetroLyrics


And this one’s another favourite …. for you C! 😉

Just because He says He’s a DOM doesn’t mean He is …

(This is absolutely not about my life or my husband, but sometimes I read things that really make me wonder.)

“Dominants” don’t make excuses.

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I’m not implying that anyone is or should be perfect, that is unrealistic. What I am saying is that my idea of a dominant does not make excuses for their bad behaviour or blame the submissive and claim that she should have known better.

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Everyone makes mistakes, but to me a dominant owns His mistakes, takes steps to correct them and moves forward. Apologize ……

…. and if you have caused any damage to your submissive you damn well better turn around and do your best to FIX IT!

Blaming someone for your behaviour is an excuse, not a valid reason. Even if they did behave improperly …..

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Dear submissive – You have a right to be treated with respect and care … regardless of your title or dynamic. Showing no restraint or self-control and then excusing it is the epitome of vanilla, even if He is KINKY!

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Not a post, just a rant I know Sir … I’ll get off my soap box now and go back to some r&r.

The pitfalls of Neverland

(I thought I should explain so no one worried.)

I’ve found myself recently with plenty of available brain power and nothing with which to keep occupied. Of course this leads the bunny to start thinking, and over thinking and plotting ….. etc. etc. ….

I’ve always had a huge imagination and normally I can keep the buffer between real and perceived in check. Lately the line has been getting a bit blurry … perhaps knowing the Bear will always catch me has given me a bit too much ‘puff and stuff’.

Does an action need to be kink inspired in order to be dominant? Does it need to involve plugs and clamps in order to be considered dominant?

The things I have been reading on lately involve mostly submissives being cared for and calmed through butt plugs, nipple clamps and bondage of some sort …. Tasks and orders are given in a kink inspired manner in order to help them keep their minds and spirits in a happy place, fair enough.

The fact however is that if I am worried or upset or frustrated the last thing I want is for my Sir to give me kink inspired orders to ‘fix’ the situation.

When I am in need of His support He takes care of me and makes sure I know He is with me in a different manner. I get told to wear His ring around my neck if He is not with me, I get His hand on the small of my back and a kiss on the forehead when He is here, I get words of support in my ear and I get told to give my frustrations over to Him and He will take them off my shoulders.

I get told how strong I am and that I can ‘do this’ or I get told to let go and He will carry me. I get told to put my hand on my face and pretend it is His if He is away and when He’s home I get told to come and sit so He can put His arms around me a while ….

I don’t get told to go get plugged or clamped because He knows that when I’m actually in need of care that would set me off on the wrong path. That would frankly piss me off and make me wonder why the heck He has sex on the brain when I need support and a strong hand to guide me now …

The only time I want kink inspired ‘help/care’ is when everything else is already fine and balanced and He keeps it that way for me by the dominant acts that are appropriate for me. 

Apparently not having a plug in my arse has left a bored bunny plenty of room to put my head in it instead! Fortunately it was made apparent to me just what I was sounding like very quickly through some email correspondence. That’s why I’m taking a break from Neverland for a short bit to focus on and remember what MY needs actually are and what I have right here, in my world.

Learning new things and ideas is great but it is important the one does not forget who they really are in the process ….

So I ask you again, does an act of dominance need to be kinky in some way every time in order to be considered effective and 24/7?

What if it’s only kink based some times and calm, strong and controlled for the rest ….. ? Is that any less dominant? Is that any less consistent? Is that any less 24/7 … ?

Pulling my head out of my arse now Sir! Thank you for your patience ….

Love You Always Sir ❤


Another good read …. another perspective

An interesting perspective and a real to life take on just how many hats we really can and sometimes do wear ….. as submissives, DOMs and just people in general I would say!

Recently I had a chat with a friend who is a submissive talking about her thoughts regarding a Dom who most likely is shy or at least appears as one. During our chat she stated that she will go for him and make the first move if she has to but questioned if this is […]

via The submissive way — domination submission