Happy Monday Sir! :D

Thank you so much for such a wonderful, fun filled weekend Sir! It was simply amazing and I certainly have my ‘sub’ going on.

With everything else you do for me and all the other things you take care of in my life you never seem to be too busy to listen and indulge (assuming I’m a very good bunny 😀 )!

I’m enjoying this feeling of belonging to you very much Sir! ❤

Love You my wonderful Sir ❤

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Being Honest, and not topping ….

I think it’s not really right to post all these great and wonderful things and times but then not talk about how to deal with the hiccups along the way.

It’s not like we have always played in kinky circles before and this should be first on our minds all the time …. it would be odd if we didn’t fall back into what we did for almost 20 yrs every so often, wouldn’t it?

The dominant thinking and control of the family and me is definitely something that has been worked out and very much a part of Sir’s every day dealings. His confidence in and understanding of His role in this family and in my life leaves no question that He is in charge, and I like that very much. The pressure, the weight and the general feeling of being alone in this has definitely left me and has been replaced with a comfortable calm and peace.  That far out ways any sort of kink, or degree of kink I might be asking for …

I think the play part of our dynamic however was more on the fore front of his mind when we thought we were just playing on weekends… because the D/s of following His lead and pleasing Him has always been a part of me anyway so He just looked at kinky fun weekends as the whole experiment.

Now that it is a 24/7 label and the two parts have come together for us it’s like no weekend excitement is there to get the mind rolling; one day leads into the other and the weekends come and go without any sort of reminder or light bulb to get things going, kink wise … if that makes any sense at all ??? lol 😜 We still play and lots of kinky fun is added here and there throughout the intimate encounters but a full on scene with all the bells and whistles that leads me into subspace and pure exhausted bliss into his arms afterwards has been very hard to come by lately.

Like everyone else we have full and busy lives with work and kids and outside commitments. The other force playing against us is that our teens are almost always home, like always! Most of the louder and more intense play is normally done in our detached garage but it is NOT very well insulated and no matter the amount of heaters you put out there or how long you let them run a little fur-less bunny can only handle the cold for so long before her hands and feet turn purple and hurt! (I also suffer from raynaud’s phenomenon.) Canadian winters are one of the biggest obstacles for us here, and then we go from -20 to +40 in a matter of weeks! From freezing to stifling in no time …. what are a bunny and bear to do!

It may seem to some that I’m walking a fine line of trying to get my needs known without topping …. but I think he knows I’ll do whatever he says/decides so I’m feeling pretty sure on this. Keeping things that I thought Sir couldn’t handle bottled up would be leading and deciding for Him what would be okay to tell and what would hurt His feelings or tear Him down would be leading. I need to trust Him enough to handle this in His own way and decide for Himself if I am being patient but right or if I’m just being self-indulgent and need to be given a reminder of my place. That’s His job, that’s His right and NOT my choice to make. I made a promise to be truthful and honest with my thoughts and feelings so that He could decide what was best for us, keeping my feelings on this from Him now would be breaking that promise ….

So, as you can see it is certainly a complicated issue but I am hoping He will see that my thoughts are valid and decide to indulge me in a little more kink to keep things going and hopefully figure out a way of playing that might be just a bit quieter or maybe a bit more well thought out so that I can get my subspace bliss just a little more often ……. Please Sir??

Love You Sir ❤

 

My Dominant/submissive life

I don’t know if my life matches up with anyone else’s and I don’t know if everyone who has these labels would agree we are. Guess what? I really am not bothered by any of that ….

The only person I need to please is MY dominant and the only people who need to think it’s real and true are us two. The reason I can allow Him free reign over me is because I know that I am His most valuable and important piece of His life’s puzzle.

All the rights and rituals have made communication and honesty key and as a result I have no doubt that I am the beating heart of my Dominants life force ….. so can I trust Him with all of me? Of course I can, because without me there is no Him …

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There is no such thing as a DOM without His sub …

Love You Sir ❤

 

Submission 101 – Self confidence

I think that one aspect that makes my submission easy for me is that I have high levels of self confidence. Now this is not to be mistaken for cockiness or thinking yourself better then others …. I mean true self confidence, being happy and comfortable in your own skin.

I have always tried to do what is right and honourable in every situation. I am human and fallible that is for certain but I know that I always do the best I can with what I know and with what I have at any given time. My mistakes I use as learning opportunities and I forgive myself for my short comings because I know that I am not perfect but I do try my best. Realistically speaking that is all I can do ….

Having this type of attitude towards myself and my life means that I have no need to struggle for power or control or shout to be heard in order to feel worth while or try to make myself feel happy. I know my own self worth and I am confident in my abilities to succeed, so if Sir wants to take control over whatever situation, well …. He’s welcome to it.

It doesn’t make me any more or less worthy simply because He wants to take the lead and it doesn’t make Him any better then me simply because I’m willing to follow. It simply means I trust Him enough to let Him lead and I’m confident enough to know that it does not reflect on my worth as a person in any way.

On a side note, having someone who is able and confident follow you where ever you lead gives Sir one heck of a boost to His ego, and secondly, a person with self confidence is sexy as  …… ! 😀

Love You Sir ❤

 

Submission 101 – Mindset

I wanted to write about my mindset as a submissive but I think that the mindset of wife/mother/good person is probably the reality for me. There are a couple things that I have worked on and brought back as your submissive if I am truly honest with myself. There were a few things that over time and frustration had been changed or put aside for me while I was working this out ….. in my head and with you.

I married the person I wanted to see every day, every hour and every minute. I did not marry because ‘it seemed like the right and convenient thing to do’, I married because I didn’t want to spend my life without you. I married someone who was the most important thing/person/place in my life. Friends, family, work …. everything took a back seat to you!

I’ve always believed that if you are going to marry someone it should be because you love them. To me love means wanting what’s best for the person always, not just sometimes not just outside of other friends and responsibilities, always! If you love someone you don’t disregard their feelings, their wishes, their wants and their needs. Not to me anyway …. I didn’t need D/s to tell me that you are the most important person in my life and should be treated as such, I had already decided that. From the way you have always treated me I’m going to guess that you had already decided that about me too.

So mindset, well I guess it was more ‘do unto others’ that dictated the way I ran/run my life and just trying to be the best person I could be in general. Coupled with the understanding of human nature and some studies in psychology and sociology and my mature relationships were molded.

I’ve always known that it’s not so much what you say but how you say it that causes hurt feelings or defensiveness, it’s not any different because you happen to be married to the person. If anything the person you love enough to marry should deserve more of your patience and effort, not less. Tolerance, understanding, patience, kindness and humility are all traits to be striven for by all human beings if you ask me, not just submissives.

For one reason or another I started down this path at a very young age. I learned to look at the points of views of others before deciding what it was they were really trying to do, and trying to say. More often then not kind actions are misunderstood and cruel actions are by products of hurt or anxious people. In either case, unkind words or actions from me are not going to help in any respect.

None of these things make me submissive exactly but they do go hand in hand with the mindset and behaviour. I’m not submissive at all in life but I still practice all these things regardless. It made it/makes it much easier to be a submissive to Sir when all the other traits have been practiced and are now just second nature. Following His directions is not really a challenge when I already planned on doing whatever I could to be a good person and to honour my marital commitment.

I guess my point is that if you want to achieve a submissive attitude towards your spouse without the constant battle within you might want to practice all the traits that make you a good person in general. They really are not that different and the submitting might then become natural too.

As to the rest of life, well these are also the attributes that command respect …. ! 😀

Love You Sir ❤

 

 

 

 

When the warrior doesn’t get to play.

This is partially a post in reaction to something I read and partially the other half of a post I wrote a while back about why BDSM works for me.

As a very dominant personality I can assure you that I never feel the need or anticipation of kneeling to anyone, for any reason outside of my intimate relationship with Sir.

What I do feel however is the anticipation and excitement of a throw down! Yes that’s right, I get excited at the idea of imposing my will or my sense of justice on situations that come up from time to time. I have a dark side that I keep tightly restrained and out of daylight ….. I keep it in check but every so often the opportunity arises that I can call on some of that energy and let it loose, even for just a little while. Enter situations and circumstance and all of a sudden my throw down has changed into a no show and I’m left trying to contain the beast within.

The overwhelming need to release the warrior within is the same and the frustration of trying to once again reign in the beast that has been awaken is the same but as a submissive to Sir I am not left with the need to dominate HIM but I am left with the overwhelming need to be dominated BY HIM.

If ever there is a time or temptation to misbehave or act out it would be in one of these scenarios. We call it spiraling or getting stuck in our heads …whatever your choice of wording the idea to me is the same. The situation generally gets more and more stressful as time goes on and the play needs to be very intense in order to once again bring back peace and balance in my mind.

My form of release might be different then Sir’s but the reasons and situations are the same. It’s just a different side of the same coin ….

If I can’t take ‘her’ out to play then I need to be reigned in by Sir ….

Love You Sir ❤

 

Perspective

Laying on the couch this afternoon trying to give my back and hips a break. I don’t want to take any meds so I am resting with every 5 minute opportunity I get. Since my brain never goes into quiet mode I’m left thinking back on how I ended up here in the first place ….and it takes me to this thought:

Sometimes good people do bad things, it doesn’t make them bad people, just maybe a little lost. It is my choice to either keep pushing them down that path with my actions and reactions, or to try and call them back with understanding and kindness…. ~

I know I’m not perfect, I hope in those moments of weakness I will be given a chance to redeem myself. I hope to give others the same chance. Even if that wasn’t the case, what have I got to lose in looking at it this way ….. ?

Resting my back as promised! 😀

Love You Sir! ❤

 

The secret life of Bear and bunny …

I thought I’d write a bit about what our dynamic looks like for anyone who might be following and might not have the whole picture. Likely, no one has the whole picture …. I really don’t write much about our daily interactions because I guess I just take them as a given. It has been brought to my attention recently, or more over to the forefront, that not everyone acts and reacts the way we do. Of course I know that but when you start typing about what you think and what you are doing it is easy sometimes to forget that no one else knows the rest of the story. In order for any of this to be put in perspective I should give you a little history and a few details.

Hummm, I should probably check with Sir to see if he minds if some of the posts are done in this manner! brb  🙂

So some of the things that happen daily around here are  Continue reading “The secret life of Bear and bunny …”

Sir …

Feeling a bit like this … (not because of Sir)

Need to talk to Sir …. figure out my next steps.

That is the point of a D/s relationship isn’t it? If I do it on my own, figure it out on my own, then I’m not giving Him the chance to lead …. right? Not that He stops me from growing and moving forward, that’s not what I mean, I mean He gets to help me move forward and He gets the last word, He gets to be involved …. right?

These are the times where my warrior has to take a step back and make sure I am following, or at least giving Sir the opportunity to lead.

I’m very good at doing for myself so some times it gets complicated to tell where I should keep going and where I should ask for directions. I don’t NEED help, but I welcome it from Sir. Humm ….

Love You Sir ❤

 

 

Happy Monday Sir

Today’s shower talk ….

Sometimes I wonder why it is people go looking for things and then can’t figure out why they found them, why they are stuck with them, why they can’t be free of them.

I’ve always believed that you get just what you expect, and that you see in others exactly what it is that is within yourself ….

If you go looking for evil, you will find it ….

If you go looking for sadness, you will find it …..

If you go looking for despair, you will find it …..

Be careful of that which you seek, because you will find it!

The world could use more happiness, what is it you are seeking to find out here?

Love You Sir ❤