I wanted to write about my mindset as a submissive but I think that the mindset of wife/mother/good person is probably the reality for me. There are a couple things that I have worked on and brought back as your submissive if I am truly honest with myself. There were a few things that over time and frustration had been changed or put aside for me while I was working this out ….. in my head and with you.
I married the person I wanted to see every day, every hour and every minute. I did not marry because ‘it seemed like the right and convenient thing to do’, I married because I didn’t want to spend my life without you. I married someone who was the most important thing/person/place in my life. Friends, family, work …. everything took a back seat to you!
I’ve always believed that if you are going to marry someone it should be because you love them. To me love means wanting what’s best for the person always, not just sometimes not just outside of other friends and responsibilities, always! If you love someone you don’t disregard their feelings, their wishes, their wants and their needs. Not to me anyway …. I didn’t need D/s to tell me that you are the most important person in my life and should be treated as such, I had already decided that. From the way you have always treated me I’m going to guess that you had already decided that about me too.
So mindset, well I guess it was more ‘do unto others’ that dictated the way I ran/run my life and just trying to be the best person I could be in general. Coupled with the understanding of human nature and some studies in psychology and sociology and my mature relationships were molded.
I’ve always known that it’s not so much what you say but how you say it that causes hurt feelings or defensiveness, it’s not any different because you happen to be married to the person. If anything the person you love enough to marry should deserve more of your patience and effort, not less. Tolerance, understanding, patience, kindness and humility are all traits to be striven for by all human beings if you ask me, not just submissives.
For one reason or another I started down this path at a very young age. I learned to look at the points of views of others before deciding what it was they were really trying to do, and trying to say. More often then not kind actions are misunderstood and cruel actions are by products of hurt or anxious people. In either case, unkind words or actions from me are not going to help in any respect.
None of these things make me submissive exactly but they do go hand in hand with the mindset and behaviour. I’m not submissive at all in life but I still practice all these things regardless. It made it/makes it much easier to be a submissive to Sir when all the other traits have been practiced and are now just second nature. Following His directions is not really a challenge when I already planned on doing whatever I could to be a good person and to honour my marital commitment.
I guess my point is that if you want to achieve a submissive attitude towards your spouse without the constant battle within you might want to practice all the traits that make you a good person in general. They really are not that different and the submitting might then become natural too.
As to the rest of life, well these are also the attributes that command respect …. ! 😀
Love You Sir ❤