So after the last post I have come to the conclusion that I should probably elaborate a bit on the rule and the way in which it plays out in a real life, daily basis.
Anyone not interested in the kinky details of toys and how to’s might want to cut out now!
I had a few comments and a few questions that I would like to address here as a post of its own. I would also like to add a few things that I have learned/experienced along the way. Feel free to ask or comment at the end if there is anything you would like to know.
I don’t write frivolous details about my sex life but that doesn’t mean I won’t answer honest, valid questions. Anyway … here goes.
The questions were:
Do I wear one when out with friends for drinks or shopping etc.?
Short answer, yes! I wear one at home or out and about all the time unless Sir has decided that I shouldn’t. The only times that it’s guaranteed not to be in is when I am working or sleeping. That said, if I am having an issue that needs attention I will bring it to Him and He then decides what to do about it.
Sometimes cramps or illness will mean that the plug is not worn because the idea here is to be a useful reminder not a torment added on top of an already taxing time!
Funerals or church events are a no, because it’s just disrespectful in our minds.
If the event is not too long than it’s fair game as well, re-lubing is the main issue, if there is no where I can take care of it or no way to do that than it’s a no because harm is not the point! Normally 2 1/2 hours would be the max, then it starts to pinch and pull where it shouldn’t. I have been doing this for a while though, in the beginning you may want to keep your timing shorter. The size and type of plug and lube will also play into the length of time you should go.
The other time I don’t wear one is if it’s a thing in which I find myself in a dominant position. For example when my brother needs guidance and he’s coming over for my opinion and support. I don’t want my mind split between submissive and dominant, the task at hand is simply too important. Once the life task is done, then the plug can be used. I understand that’s not necessarily an issue for everyone, but details was the idea here, so details you shall have!
The bit i find uncomfy is the jewel that sits outside. It feels like it cuts into your bum, even though it isn’t …
It is most certainly the lube. I use coconut oil for anal and sometimes simply rubbing it around the outer lip, skin contact area, does the trick! If you don’t feel like washing and starting over again! Still though, a few hours and even the inside will dry out … so beware!
I didn’t start off as an all day thing, that causes issues with your soft tissues and makes the ordeal painful and anal sex horrid!
If you are interested I would suggest starting off with an hour daily, than perhaps 1 hour twice daily, than a couple to 3 hours and work your way up etc. You may even need a day off in between to let your body heal. If it hurts, stop!
Too much too fast is NOT your friend. Even if you don’t think you need too I would suggest re-lube every couple of hours at most and glass and metal toys are the best. The others get an odor that you can’t really get rid of, who wants that in their drawer?? and they also start to pinch and pull much quicker! They are good for shorter wear but maybe keep them in their drawer when thinking of all day.
Be careful, … I found the first day or two were no big deal but when I went at it too fast from the beginning the second or third day was when trouble hit! By then the tissue was so swollen and irritated that it was very sore. Even the smallest of plugs was painful, not in a good way! It seems fine, until it isn’t!
Which toys/plugs to use?
We use a wide variety of them, mostly glass or metal. Like I mentioned earlier the others seem to hold an odor after a while and it really is difficult to be rid of it. Makes you wonder what else they might be holding on to!
I have read that sticking with one size and shape too long can start to mess around with your muscles and how they work. I don’t know about you but I have no need for incontinence so … I will normally get ordered to switch them out one for another from time to time. Some are longer with wider bases and some are narrower, the metal ones normally have the narrow tighter base while the glass are wider and sometimes fatter over all. Keep switching them up, keep the muscles from getting lazy! *wink*
When you are out …
If you are out and about wearing a plug and especially with coconut oil as the lubricant (or at home) be careful of sitting down! I will normally wear a dress or skirt and no panties (that’s a rule) BUT the oil will leak onto your clothes while you are sitting in the car ride or in a chair waiting. The first time out was interesting I can tell you!
I have taken to bringing a towel along for car rides, I can lift my dress and sit on the towel so neither my clothes or my leather seats get gummed up or stained. If going out else where I will normally get permission for panties because the oil will seep through and leave a very obvious spot BUT the panties seem to be enough to stop that from happening.
A laundry bar used before throwing it all in the wash makes quick work of the stain for you BTW!
At home ..
On lazy day Sundays or evenings I will normally wear yoga pants or track pants. Assuming you haven’t gone crazy with the coconut oil the pants will keep it from staining the furniture. Again, the laundry bar will take care of the strain but be sure to pretreat or your workout wear will have a dark spot on it that make you look like you pee’d yourself next time you are at the gym! *wink*
The larger, wider plugs tend to cause issues that require ‘rest’ sooner than the rest. We are all different so be sure to pay attention to your body first and formost.
You want to be rid of the pinching, irritated feeling, you probably need more lubrication.
Start slow, even if you think it’s okay … it won’t bother you until it BOTHERS YOU and then you have a few days of healing to do.
If you have been out of the habit for a while, even a short while, consider yourself ‘new’ at it again. Your body muscle memory will very quickly go back to square one. Honour your body and take your time.
This is supposed to make you mindful not miserable!
Speaking of in for a pound!! …….. I had more to tell you about a new set of metal princess plugs we found, but I have run out of time! They are weighted!! LoL Seriously …. it really is something else. *grin* Later!