The rule!

It has occurred to me that perhaps my attempt at simple thinking out loud has brought many ideas and worries to the forefront!

To that I say Yipee! Well not for the worries but ideas and thought, yes!

Anywho, I have asked the Bear and He said for the sake of understanding I could write the ‘rule’ we are thinking on!

Now if you are a movie watcher this may seem familiar! LoL I myself found this movie from a blogger I follow and admit we just couldn’t make it through, not our thing but anyway this idea stuck!

When no one is about, and when opportunity strikes, I am to bare my bottom before I sit onto whatever I am sitting on.

When He came home he found me sitting with my dress up and bottom out. So far it has been a good idea, we are working on the logistics. I’m not always wearing a dress, what do we do then?

That is all, not a mind shattering or ground breaking rule … just a bit of mindfulness and a bit of fun, especially on leather and in the car in the heat! OUCH! LoL

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testing out a rule, or idea …

I’m not sure if anyone else does this or if it’s just me. I’m a bit of an oddball, I know and I’m quite happy about it so I guess this post is just me thinking out loud.

Aren’t you all lucky!!! *chuckle* Anywho ….

I’ve not done this before, well not exactly like this although similar things have happened but ….  I had an idea about a rule that we might incorporate. A rule that could only be followed when we are alone but a rule none the less.

I didn’t talk to the Bear about it (or hadn’t when I started practicing it, I have now) because He wasn’t home yet but I wanted to try it on for size. I wanted to see how it worked, logistically, and how it felt, physically and mentally, to have to follow through.

I also wanted to surprise Him with it as to get a real, honest response. You know, a gut reaction sort of thing. Give Him something to now think on and decide what if anything He would like to do about it. Give Him ideas.

(Although I really should know better! The Bear is always saying ‘Bunny talks too much!’ *raspberries* )

This isn’t a brand new idea, it’s something we have read about and something He did use as a rule for one specific outing but …. it would be new in this circumstance.

I wasn’t sure so I wanted to test it out. It’s nothing that breaks any rules or is in violation of the spirit of anything we have agreed upon so I thought, why not???

If I found it to be more detrimental than mindful I would soon figure that out. If He found it not to His liking we would soon figure that out. If it was good for me and indifferent for Him than He might decide on it for my benefit and vice versa.

The jury is currently out …..

To me this is just one more method of stoking the fire, active submission if you will. Thoughts?

In a Tissy!

The Bear has had me in a tissy all day, so of course now I’m going back to the first dominant I ever fell for …. in my head! Don’t get worried, it’s just a fictional character and it really is more about the music than anything else! LoL

Plus I had something else in my head that although good was not at all sexy! ;P LoL

I read some time back someone asking about movies that were a ‘sure thing’ for turning on your woman, well I guess you can say this is mine!! *giggle*

Watch it or listen to it with a D/s twist then you will get the full picture! *wink* Way better than FSoG! In my opinion ….

Gotta hop!!!

Ciao!

with words:

Chillin’ to Lionel today!

The bunny’s got time on her hands lately, it’s only been a few days and this is already how my mind is going!

Pray for the Bear everyone …. He might just need it!!

Lionel Richie Lyrics

“Up All Night”

So I found me a little thing
Wanna keep me up all night
She told me don’t be so uptight
She wanna keep up all night
Damn she might kill me

I found me a pretty little thing
Wanna keep me up all night
She says she gonna make things all right
She wanna keep me up all night
Damn she might kill me

I’m in Brazil where the scene so fire
Where the girls and trees can get hotter
Everything that I see talks to me
Can’t believe how the girls be walking

I’ve been here about an hour
They keep saying come talk to me
I keep thinking there’s one and they say us three
Standing there getting out of the shower
Turning around showing me the thing got power

Started to converse and I sense a problem
And I’m thinking girl I can always solve them
But she didn’t want to hear it
She says she is all mine and I can make him feel it
All along I was thinking it was gonna be her plus two
Now they’re looking like Lionel the joke’s on you
Next thing I’m feeling is her up and down
While the girls are watching

So I found me a little thing
Wanna keep me up all night
She told me don’t be so uptight
She wanna keep up all night
Damn she might kill me

I found me a pretty little thing
Wanna keep me up all night
She says she gonna make things all right
She wanna keep me up all night
Damn she might kill me

I thought there ain’t a thing I ain’t seen
Until she pulled out a banner for me
She said whatever you want
I know I needed a little vacation
But now I may never go home

So I found me a little thing
Wanna keep me up all night
She told me don’t be so uptight
She wanna keep up all night
Damn she might kill me

I found me a pretty little thing
Wanna keep me up all night
She says she gonna make things all right
She wanna keep me up all night
Damn she might kill me

I thought there ain’t a thing I ain’t seen
Until she pulled out a banner for me
She said whatever you want
I know I needed a little vacation
But now I may never go home

I’m in Brazil where the scene so fire
Where the girls and trees can get hotter
Everything that I see talks to me
Can’t believe how the girls be walking

I’ve been here about an hour
They keep saying come talk to me
I keep thinking there’s one and they say us three
Standing there getting out of the shower
Turning around showing me the thing got power

Post comments, still troubled

This is a comment for someone I tried to comment on but couldn’t. If you ever find it you’ll know! LoL

The comment was supposed to read mummified not humidified! LoL Not only did my word get changed but then I couldn’t re-comment a correction! OYE, I hope this gets fixed soon!

Anyhow, the poem was eerily great! If you ever find my comment you’ll know what I actually meant to say!

Cheerio!

Help, I’m in your spam queue and I can’t be heard! (title courtesy of Leathers)

My friend Leathers from The Journey of a lifetime … has helped me by finding out that my comments to him were ending up in his spam filter for some reason. He has approved my comments and they now show up on his blog once more!

If you would be so kind as to check your Akismet spam filters you may find me waiting there! LoL If you are having same or similar issues with others you may find them there as well.

Good Luck and please let me know if this is the case …

Thank you all, and thank you, Leathers, for your help! *smiles*

Wierdness

I’m not sure what’s going on but it appears that I can’t leave comments on anyone’s site but my own.

Anyone else having that issue??

I suppose if you are you won’t be able to comment here either! LoL

It says it’s there when I enter, but when I go back it has disappeared!

You can email me 73nijntje@gmail.com

Weird!

Just rambling ….

When I got married I had no idea what to expect of a ‘marriage’. I knew exactly what I didn’t want but I had no picture in my head of what it ‘should be’. I was never one to read romance novels or anything like that, frankly I spent all my time simply surviving, dreaming and fantasizing was no where on the radar.

All I knew for certain was that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man, and I wanted to both make Him happy and me happy! Simple (and complicated it seems) as that!

Throughout our marriage I have never had let downs or underachieved expectations …. I had none so there was nothing to be let down about. We figured it out as we went along, we talked, we invested our time and energy and we were happy. We did what worked for us and didn’t worry about anyone else’s marriage ….

Then enter a ‘dynamic’. All of a sudden there are rules, and ways of doing things, labels and other people’s ideals of what it should look like! Starting out I was the one to ask Sir to try this out with me, not just the sex and kink but more, much more …. an all-encompassing idea that worked 24/7.

There was a big problem with this new adventure of ours however. THIS time I had done some reading and research and THIS time I did have a picture in my head of what it was ‘supposed’ to look like. Oh Boy!

I ‘knew’ what a Dom was to be, and a sub was to be and how life was ‘supposed’ to play out … every moment and every word …. *chuckle* yeah, right! Not many of these stories and blog sites ever included much of what life looks like when you’re not kinking it up!

So I did what I think many of us do, I took off running! Oh yes, every moment and every action had to be ‘dominant’, or at least the fantasy book version of dominant. Ironic really, I should have known better, I take that role out in the real world, I know it doesn’t really look like that …. but I fell for it anyway.

For a while it was good, for a while it was new and exciting and frankly you keep yourself in the ‘submissive’ state that everyone is searching for. It doesn’t take much, you are already on a high that turns every action, no matter how small into a ‘oh look how dominant He’s being’ moment. Of course after a while you want more ….

The once ‘new’ things He’s doing are now old news and you are looking to keep that ‘high’ so you need more. Now this is both good and bad. Adding to your dynamic and making things flow along is great BUT being realistic about what can and cannot happen right now is also important, that’s the part that messes us up.

This is when it gets frustrating, then we feel like we are doing all the work, all the carrying of the dynamic and that we are tired and frustrated and done. Anyone been here before??

Then comes the talk …. I’m done, you’re not pulling your weight and we should just stop.

No one is happy, no one is left fulfilled any longer … you struggle and you try to move on without it but it doesn’t seem right anymore.

Then you get the talk from His side. ‘I want this, I want to keep going, I’ll do the work this time’.

This is just what you wanted to hear, but beware, don’t just assume He’s going to be doing it all. Many times I think we think good, this time He will lead and I will follow, so much better – I hope. But I think we step back too much …

We all know it takes two, we all say it, but do we DO it? This is where I blame the stories … I’m the sub, He’s supposed to do all the ordering and planning and making things good. He’s the one who’s supposed to be in charge of everything. He’s the one who needs to make me feel submissive …. but, oh yeah I’m adding energy. Hummm … are we?

Normally this is another ebb in the dynamic. He runs out of steam and our expectations are still so high that they are never met. Big surprise, we have a life and responsibilities, we have work and families and issues that need tending. We have no energy and then it happens again … I don’t feel very submissive, you didn’t dominate well, we are frustrated again …..

All of this because I had that damn picture in my head of what the ‘dynamic’ was supposed to look like. UGH

So this is when, if you are wise you decide it’s time to ‘rock the casbah’! *wink*

So back we went to the beginning, to what we know works … back to the same method we used when we got married:

“All I knew for certain was that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man, and I wanted to both make Him happy and me happy! Simple (and complicated it seems) as that!

Throughout our marriage I have never had let downs or underachieved expectations …. I had none so there was nothing to be let down about. We figured it out as we went along, we talked, we invested our time and energy and we were happy. We did what worked for us and didn’t worry about anyone else’s marriage …. ” Change marriage to dynamic and there you have it! *wink*

I’m not always in heels and leather cuffs, I’m not always doing something kinky or on my knees. We don’t always have time for spankings and scenes but I have changed my way of thinking about it, and so has He.

My submission to Him lives inside of me, it’s not really His responsibility to figure out what’s going on inside my head, He can’t read my mind. It is His responsibility to ask if He notices something off but if I’m going to do my best to hide my thoughts and feelings than I really can’t expect Him to know and act, can I?

My submission is mine to care for, I put it in perspective that I can’t be ‘little slave girl’ 24/7 because there are things going on around me that need attention. I CAN be His 24/7 though, I just need to be open and honest about what’s in my head and let Him decide what to do about it. I can offer suggestions of what I think I need and I can let Him lead from there …

Submission is not quiet or oppressive, and it’s not all about Him being dominant either. It’s about working together, being open and not hiding the truth. THEN He gets to do His job and be the dominant, take charge and help. THAT we can do 24/7, easily.

No it’s not the same as the stories or the scene that you read about on-line, because I have a life around me that includes my dominant every moment. Sometimes He’s the husband and sometimes the Dad, sometimes my MIL’s son and sometimes a brother. Sometimes He has that fire in His eyes that easily brings me to my knees and sometimes He doesn’t.

It doesn’t mean my submission has to change because He’s not always ‘on’, or seemingly not … the truth is He is always on and always in charge it’s just not always so obvious. THAT I need to remember and not make into more than it is.

And on the days when I just need a little more I find a quiet place, personally I like to kneel and wait, it calms me. If possible I will wait naked and eventually He finds me, He always comes looking when He can, sometimes there is a wait but it always seems to be just long enough for me to get my mind calm.

When He finds me He doesn’t hesitate, He tells me He’s ‘here’ and then He will tell me what We are going to do, or He will ask me what I need.

He sees me, it doesn’t matter who started it.

No more let downs, no more ebbs, no more unmet expectations. Just ask …

Is this just me??

Thanks for listening to my ramble, Happy Monday all!

Miss you lots already, Sir! A very wonderful weekend indeed …. Evilness! *wink* ❤ ❤

 

Be As!

I like music, what can I say. Today this song came to mind. *wink*

You proclaim acceptance, but do you really?

Lyrics:

Julie wants to get out of town
She needs to settle down
Move to a place where no one knows her
Lisa just had to get away
Nothing could make her stay
Tired of living under cover

Everybody knows somebody trying to get free

Be as white as you want to
Be as black as you want to
Be as brown as you want to
Don’t let anybody stop you
Be as straight as you want to
Be as gay as you want to
You can wait if you want to
We all need something to hold on to

And if there is a way that you and I could both be free
Have a little understanding and we will be

Daniel moved to another school
Alliances can be cruel
When you’re alone without nobody
Michael begged Jen to take a stand
And fight for the love they had
But she’d rather deal with being lonely
Everybody’s got somebody telling them what to be

Be as white as you want to
Be as black as you want to
Be as brown as you want to
Don’t let anybody stop you
Be as straight as you want to
Be as gay as you want to
You can wait if you want to
We all need something to hold on to

And if there is a way that you and I could both be free
Have a little understanding and we will be

Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na

And if there is a way that you and I could both be free
Have a little understanding and we will be

Be as white as you want to
Be as black as you want to
Be as brown as you want to
Don’t let anybody stop you
Be as straight as you want to
Be as gay as you want to
You can wait if you want to
We all need something to hold on to