Naughty, naughty

I read an interesting analogy in a comment that got my naughty brain going!


I wonder what reaction I would get if I told The Bear how absolutely parched I was the next time His parents come to visit or we are out with friends! *wink*

Feel free to comment if you know what I’m talking about! I’m having a pretty good *giggle* just thinking on it. πŸ˜‰

Happy Christmas Eve Folks! Follow your light ….

Why does it feel, we walk in a world full of strangers
How did we stray so far from that miracle in the manger
When did we lose sight of that star
Why must we live lost in the dark

There’s a light that shines within us
A humble gift for peace and forgiveness
On this Christmas night
Let’s follow the light
Back to Bethlehem

Relive the birth, witness the sweet joy of kindness
Reach out in faith, cast off the bitterness that blinds us
Find our way back to where it all began
Give of our hearts, let love be born again


Rest assured with every step we’re taking
We’ll be leading one another
One step closer to our savior



D/s exploration has finally given me a home.

No matter how crazy things get, and believe me they do, I have a ‘home’ in the Bear. Never alone.

Happy Friday Folks! This one is worth listening to …. the entire album reminds me of my relationship actually, my ‘D/s’. Much more than kink and sex. This is what I get out of being His submissive.


Tasks unfinished

Yesterday was a busy day, time was short to begin with and my appointment went way long! Like hours over ……

I did most of what the Bear had left/leaves for me to do but there was one thing that got missed. It was simply not possible to fit it into my day without interfering with my work, not before He was to be home anyway.

His solution, I would simply get to the task after work. Fair enough, but for some reason being off schedule and out of ‘turn’ really gets to my head. You are all surprised I know, the perfectionist doesn’t like having things out-of-order! Go figure …..

Now I’m really not the type to stress over things usually so as far as I was concerned it could just be chalked up to ‘life happens’ and left for another day.Β  Many times in the past that is exactly what would happen because the task was not the end of the world and the point behind it was to relax me and strengthen the connection we share when He is not here, nothing more and nothing less. He was on His way home within minutes of my being able to get to it anyway …..

Well like I said the Bear wanted it done, so getting it done I would do. (He doesn’t yet know any of this, guess He does now!) I didn’t complain or try to talk my way out of this even though that was the first instinct. Within seconds my brain turned to the thought that I asked for this in the first place and that the point of submission is not just when I feel up to it or when it’s convenient, it means more when I’m not in the ‘mood’ frankly! I had been out in the world and taking care of business all day, my domme pants were very comfortably in place. Following through was exactly what I needed Him to do, and me to do.Β 

He was home before I was done of course and walked in on me as I did as He wished. He didn’t say a word and went about His business, and watching. Something about having Him there changed the task from its usual feel to just that much more intense in its meaning and feel.

He came to me just as I was finishing up and helped me to my feet. The transformation was complete from warrior to His nijntje. Nothing complicated and nothing fancy but most certainly effective. The rest of the night saw us both comfortable in our preferred places.

Most of the control The Bear has over me is not kinky or sexual, that is only the tip of the iceberg. It’s all in my head.Β  Life, kids and stress never stops that …… I’m His with or without the symbols and kink.

His holidays start today. πŸ˜€

Can’t wait till you’re home Bear!!Β  ❀


Totally Owned

Odd the things you don’t notice, until you do!

I have an appointment today, so I will be driving … already a ‘strange’ occurrence. I work from home and any time I do go somewhere, generally, Sir drives. He either comes with me or drops me off and picks me up, so I don’t drive much.

The thing I just noticed (remembered) now as I’m getting ready to leave is that I don’t have a house key! Yup, I’d say He controls every aspect of my day.

No worries, we have a spare key for the back door in the cupboard. I’ll have to take that one with me and go out the back instead of using the front door today.

Better go ….. !

Chastity – no thank you.

I’ve become aware of some posts on chastity recently that have me thinking. I know it is not something for me, I know it would not enhance my submission it would actually reverse that process. I’m pretty hard-core so it did take an awful long time to happen, emphasis on awful, but it did happen that way for me/us.

Ours/mine was long before ‘D/s’ activities were heard of or experienced but it happened none the less. It happened because of life and lack of time and miscommunication, but it happened.

As I have tried to explain before, despite being very dominant in the world when it came to marriage and The Bear I have always treated Him in a way that is very conducive to a D/s relationship. To me it was just a very old-fashioned ideal that appealed to me, not spankings and kink but just the respect and commitment and my man being a ‘Man’. I’ll probably get blasted for saying things like that now a days but it’s my life so I decide!

Anyway, all of that was already in place, for me anyway. I have also always had a very high sex drive, being ‘satisfied’ doesn’t turn me into a disinterested and less than polite wife, it actually makes me more interested in both pleasing Him and being ‘available’. Basically the more I get the more I want …. more closeness, more goofy, more playful and more of Him. I’m more of that ‘submissive’ everyone talks about trying to be.

Some of the years before we embarked on this leg of our journey saw sex and play become a distant memory. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, I’ve already written about that so I won’t again but it went on for a long time. I had my fair share of chastity I can tell you and it didn’t make me want Him more, well at the very beginning maybe, but eventually it just became an unattainable dream and simply pushed out of my mind. Sex became something I didn’t even bother to pursue any longer.

Now being ‘this way’ with The Bear is hardwired into me but after a very long time even I started to think of things other than ‘The Bear’ first! I started making choices that were not based on what He might like or He might find pleasing, it became ‘what do I want ….”? After more than 15 years of putting Him first I stopped. I put my feelings away and went back behind my wall, even with The Bear.

Enter D/s exploration here. Obviously there were other things at play here as well, communication being one of them BUT I wanted better sex! More sex! Sex in general …. For me good sex releases all sorts of pent-up energy and frustration, it leaves me much more able to be patient and kind and less interested in being selfish in the day-to-day interactions.

On my dominant side, the one that deals with the world, it makes me stronger and calmer and more able to handle any dragon that happens to be flying over head. The warrior holds her shield and sword tall and straight and ready to take on any challenge.

On my submissive side, the one only The Bear sees, it leaves me willing and able to be justΒ for Him. To focus on doing anything and everything I can to be pleasing and helpful and His submissive in any way He chooses. It also allows me to feel His, completely, so that I can get past the wall the world sees and come and sit at His feet.

So my thoughts on chastity? I think if it works for you and enhances your connection, your relationship, your life, than I think you should go for it.

For some of us however it doesn’t enhance anything. For myself it actually reverses everything I’m trying to accomplish by going down this path in the first place. Just because others are doing it and talking about it doesn’t mean we have to. πŸ˜‰

Love You Always EMS! ❀


Happy Monday

I haven’t much to write about, not really anything interesting or that needs to get out.

I’ve spent much too much time at the funeral home as of late, made another stop yet again yesterday.

Christmas is a week away and we’re keeping it simple, no stress.

Rain is here now, all the snow we have will likely disappear in the next few days. It’s kind of dark and pretty dreary.

All in all I’m still in good spirits, life is still fun and I’m getting feeling back in my hands … for now!

Looking forward to some time off with the Bear …… and this song keeps hopping through my head! Happy Monday Everyone! πŸ˜€

Raynaud’s and D/s

A little bit ago I was having a short conversation that led to the inclusion of raynaud’s, which I happen to suffer from. Now the conversation was not at all about anything medical but just like in everyday life for me it was something that is effected because of my raynaud’s. The conversation was about cell phones actually!

Shortly into the conversation it was mentioned that perhaps I should write something on this issue since it is not so widely known. I have yet to do that and put it here because well, I wasn’t doing too bad and so ‘out of sight, out of mind’ as they say.

Well the weather has changed and as always my raynaud’s is in full gear! I had been outside for a short while with work and once I returned my hands (and feet) were more or less frostbitten. I had on the appropriate winter attire and I am always careful but the truth is that I normally have very little control over what and where this will be set off!

This is not a picture of my fingers but they could easily be. They stay like that for a good long time and hurt like a bugger. Once they start to warm up they turn red and swollen, feels lovely! (sarcasm in case that’s not clear)

My hands ache and it travels up and down my arms, and it also affects my feet, ears, nose and cheeks (yes both sets!). Trying to move them either when cold or warmed is very painful.

What does this have to do with D/s you ask? Well after works hours I am to be rid of my panties for the evening unless otherwise told. I couldn’t! I couldn’t undo the button on zipper, I couldn’t get my clothes off, I couldn’t do anything! I couldn’t follow the rule …..

No it wasn’t my fault and no it’s not the end of the world but it does play on your mind and becomes frustrating time after time, to have to acquiesce to this darn disease.

There is much more I can say and explain on this and I think I will, but for today I’ll have to stop here. My hands hurt too much, they are still freezing and I still can hardly move them. It effects most of my interactions daily and it’s only December in the Great White North.

And no, I haven’t been back outside today, it happens when I’m inside too!

Happy Thursday Folks! Stay warm.