I’ve been asked a few times over the years what does nijntje mean. I was just asked again and so I thought I’d write it out and give a little more explanation as to why we went this way.
nijntje – *9 – cha* is a Dutch term commonly used as an endearment, literally translated it means ‘little rabbit’
When we first started down this road and were looking for information and a community to learn from it seemed that everyone had a name. It hadn’t been something that occurred to us before finding the chat site but afterwards it made sense. It was an easy way to know when “Sir” was addressing me and when Hubby was instead. At first with the introduction of the labels we had decided to ‘play’ on weekends because that was when we had more time to concentrate and learn our roles. It wasn’t that I was opposed to doing it full-time it was just less stress, but should Sir want me during the week then the name would be a dead give away. Most of what we incorporated with these labels was kink and sex at the time, I guess that was the part of the ‘dynamic’ we hadn’t naturally figured out on our own.
We had dedicated a good amount of time to that site and it very quickly became obvious that we were working backwards from the typical couple on the site. Most were bedroom D/s and working on bringing it out. We were out of the bedroom and working on the kink …. even though we hadn’t realized that our relationship had a ‘name’! *chuckle*
Anyway, it very quickly became that I only ever called Him ‘Sir’ – weekends, weekdays, it didn’t much matter. The more I used Sir the more He began using nijntje and eventually it was decided that one – we liked it that way, it fit very nicely and two – our given names would actually become like ‘safe words’ of a sort. Basically if one of us was slipping into ‘vanilla’ land, getting snippy or irritated, not listening or simply not behaving in any one of the things we had discussed and wanted to work on, the other would use the given name in order to quickly and easily bring attention to it. It also meant that communicating this around others was no problem, no one would blink because we used our own names!
side note – Sir doesn’t want me to use Sir around others unless it flows easily like ‘yes Sir’ for example would be fine but calling out “Sir” across the room to get His attention would be odd around others, that’s when I use Mr. ____ instead, of course we have evolved to use Bear quite often now a days.
So that’s it, nijntje was picked because it was culturally appropriate and as a reminder, Bear didn’t come along until a while later. I started using Bear when all the walls crumbled and the trust reached 100%, no safety gear, no net ….
Love You Always Bear! ❤