I left a comment for someone that has spurred on this post.
I’ve written before about how going into peri menopause put my sex drive through the roof! Running around like a horny teenager all the time … a one track mind for sure!
I had this same conversation with a few vanilla friends so I might just as well leave it here again as well. *chuckle* Why not, eh??
Peri menopause certainly ramped up my sex drive, although I have always had a high appreciation for the ‘dance’! *giggle* But does that crazy level of ‘gotta have it now!!!” last for ever?
Well, the short answer would be no, not really.
The urgency and running around like a teenager has mellowed out, partially the balancing out of hormones and partially maturing in the dynamic. The truth is that in the beginning you tend to surround yourself with all sorts of sexual content and so your drive stays high. Might be a bit of a false high I suppose. It’s also new and exciting which makes it easy to be always ‘on’.
As time goes by it becomes more like everything else in life, the more you pay attention and work at it, the better it will be. Don’t put any energy into it and you will get exactly that back out ….
The dynamics and kink are certainly a great start and a lot of fun BUT they are not a miracle, or cure for any relationship or issue.
This relationship is just like any other in the terms that it’s shiny and new in the beginning and very easy to stay on top of and maintain. As you move forward it will either mature and strengthen or it will fade into the background leaving you sullen and wondering what happened?
In many cases the answer is easy. Life happened, you let it happen and didn’t invest the same energy and care as you did in the beginning and so it has taken a back seat.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s just the dominant’s responsibility to keep it alive and fresh, or just the submissive’s … this is a partnership and you each have a role to play.
The Bear has been busy at work and I have been a bit down and out physically as well. Our energy levels as well as our alone time have also taken a hit. I suppose I could sit back and wait and expect Him to take this on Himself and give our kinky time a kick in the butt to start ….
I can also plan a bit of a surprise myself and add a bit of fuel to the fire from my side. It’s not leading or topping it’s energy and attention to something be both crave.
Whining and sulking and trying to manipulate the situation is different, this is me saying ‘Hey Sir, would you like to play??’ he gets to take it from there, it’s still His choice but everyone could use a bit of motivation now and again! *wink wink*
So a bit of a mix between menopause and just life in general but for me they are one in the same!
Love You Always, Sir! ❤
nijntje & The Bear 
Read this as I ate. Mulled it for awhile. Think I stitched some prior observations into one of them there e-tiffany type idea things. Doesn’t directly correlate to your topic but it may be insightful. Would you mind it being shared here?
LikeLike
Share away my friend, your words of wisdom are always welcome! 😀
LikeLike
I am clearly aware of my gender and clearly aware what trouble leaps of logic can get you in but…, here and in the world around me I’ve noticed:
Ladies going through the frenzy you mention.
Some of them suddenly becoming quite interested in select types of activities.
Some of the relationships then go south.
Makes me ponder the setting you described, the lack of time due to life, choices that could have been made over the years and how outcomes could be altered. Do you think this is nutty? Meaning, do you think it is fair to connect these dots in this way? I wonder how many of the couples actually had this same setup but (ultimately) saw it fall apart for lack of management and communication?
LikeLike
I don’t think it’s nutty at all really. You know the old adage men reach their sexual peak early, women do later … likely this is the reason for that ‘general rule’. It doesn’t happen to everyone but there is certainly a good majority in this club.
There are many things involved with ‘the change’, hormones for sex drive being just one of those things. The way you think and view life changes, you give yourself permission (if you’re wise) to start speaking up and doing for yourself too, for a change. If your partner refuses to accept that than YES I can see the relationship going south and quickly.
One ‘change’ you will often notice is that menopausal women speak their mind and don’t care who hears it or who’s offended. Fitting in and being ‘liked’ which is often priority for women and mothers, becomes secondary if even on the radar, to being straightforward and getting things done. (Know anything about that, beagle? LoL)
This is very often a huge change for those who are used to them being accommodating and even bending over backwards on a regular basis. I’m not saying we all turn into b*tches, I’m saying we stop being everyone’s doormat. Couple that with a sex drive now equal to any teenage boy and look out! *giggle*
So yes, in the end we either accept this change and use it as our ‘super power’, OR we go into depression and become quite miserable.
I have a wonderful partner who wanted to work through and figure this out, so we did. Without the communication and openness we share I could see this going the other way …..
I think I just wrote you a post! ;P
LikeLike
Useful and appreciated ma’am. Does this mean I’m….
LikeLike
…. certainly on to something here! LoL
Some people just grow apart over time because they never took the time in the first place. By the time this happens the relationship is over anyway.
Some however probably do fall pray to this same thing ….
LikeLike