Seems things are coming back around, i’m not sure, it could just be that i’ve got some extra time these days and/or that i made my ‘resolution‘ and i’ve been sticking to it, or that mental health for everyone seems to be ‘ok’ and we are taking liberties …. BUT it seems my sex drive is back into high gear! *chuckle*
In the beginning of our journey i’m going to have to say that this ‘journey’ into menopause had a lot to do with why we started this in the first place.
- increase sex drive
- decrease ‘giving a cr@p’
- decrease verbal ‘filter’
- increase feelings of ‘why am i ‘settling’ instead of getting what i need and want’??
And BOOM! A revelation, i enjoy kink and i’m not waiting any longer! *raspberries* I’m not the type to not act on what i want but the responsibilities of life up until then had been such that me and sex and selfcare had always taken a back seat.
Like most of us, i spent my time taking care of my kids, my husband, my extended family, my job … EVERYTHING but me. I didn’t honestly realize how much i was carrying and how exhausting it was becoming until one day it all just sort of came together.
Unlike those who found D/s or M/s because they wanted to pay more attention and care to their S.O. i actually found D/s so that more care could be put towards ME!
This might not be the way marriage is looked at by all but to me it’s no different than married D/s if you take away the kinky bits.
I remember sometime ago talking to a friend who is also into the lifestyle and at one point through the conversation (we were new to the scene) he mentioned that i needed to remember to think of Bear in my plans and ideas. I was thinking on vacationing and such and he mentioned that i should strive to include things that the Bear might like as well.
I found it a bit odd truthfully and a bit confusing at first. Since the day we met my first concern has always been to make sure we were doing things that He too would like and in a way that would please Him. The Bear has always been my first thought before planning and doing anything …. why would i need to ‘remember’ that?
Then it occurred to me, that’s not the ‘normal’ way of it. I started to notice then how many couples around me never really gave their partner much thought when they were planning or doing things. I started to notice that most actions were ‘me first’ and the rest later.
My experience had always been the opposite. But now i’ve gotten way off topic!! LoL
ANYHOW – with peri-menopause came a huge increase in sex drive and a huge decrease in self denial. For a very long time sex was the main thing on my mind, i swear i was like a horny teenage boy, one track mind and no intention of trying to think about anything else! *chuckle* Fun times indeed!
After a while things started to normalize (darn) but i’m noticing another *change* because that happens often with the menoBeast. Physical issues/symptoms are changing and so is my drive. It’s not that i’ve ever had a low libido but when it ramps up, look out!
The timing is good as far as other responsibilities are concerned and i’m enjoying as much as i can. I’ve embraced putting myself out there and just ‘doing’ and Bear has embraced giving me tasks and things to ‘remember Him by’. There are still things i’d like to experience but i don’t feel like i’m missing anything right now.
Life is still full of responsibility and interruption but we’re making the best of any free moment and we’re just enjoying our life and our dynamic. And the sex has been pretty damn good too!! LoL
Probably not what you’re used to reading when you search D/s but there you have it!
Bear went and got poison ivy again …. seems i must be immune! Or just very good at some how avoiding all His spots …. *chuckle*