Evolution

i have 15 to 20 well deserved stripes on my backside.

Over the years i think that we have moved from kinky, to D/s, to M/s and all along there has been a strong undertone of DD.

It makes sense really, they are all related (whether or not folks want to admit it)!

I think we have fallen into a truly comfortable harmony right now and I can’t wait to see where the journey takes us next.

As our kinks evolve, so too does our relationship and our dynamic.

Happy wicked Wednesday! *wink*

Beats me …. ??

One thing I have learned from going through the process of trying to figure out our ‘dynamic’ is that the sooner you stop trying to label it and fit in, the faster you find your groove and have a chance at being happy!

If I was just starting out and looking for a partner specific to BDSM I suppose it would be a bit different but I can’t see myself ever doing that anyway. (Not that I am in the market for anything!! just musing.) Bear and I fell into this lifestyle, we didn’t set out to ‘be’ anything.

He was kinky from the beginning, He just didn’t know it! *wink* Heck, i was too, i just didn’t have a name for it! The first half of our life together saw a few kinky times but mostly just regular everyday life, especially after the kids came around. Sleep was not a thing i knew and i swear just thinking about touching me would send secret signals through the air to wake the kids!!! I’m not even kidding here …. *ugh*

It was 8 years before i was able to start sleeping through the night and have both energy and appetite for something ‘more’.  I also went off birth control and started the beginnings of peri-menopause (pretty sure). The words ‘randy teenager’ come to mind!! *chuckle* Poor Bear really didn’t know what happened …. 😉

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Our relationship has been a progression. For the sake of some clarity I’ll say that we started off pretty primal in nature. Biting and scratching and just raw energy was the main way of being together. Again, we didn’t label it but the animal in both of us was usually the main event!

After using some of the energy up i started to switch over to CNC. I didn’t say it at the time but the dialogue in my head was normally in that direction. It makes sense really, it does tend to lend itself to many of the same actions in a primal joining. What it did do however was tap into the submissive part of the equation.

It wasn’t too long after that when the energy became more ‘slave’ like for me but we found it a bit to one sided. It didn’t give the Bear the responses He needed and so it fizzled out. It wasn’t until we explored and added masochism to the mix that it became more exciting, for us.

As of now, we both enjoy the s&m aspects of our relationship but unfortunately we don’t get to play as hard as we would like. A side note, s&m for us doesn’t need to involve sex. For me at least, it’s another level of trust but also relaxation! I would caution however that there is a fine line between healthy s&m and self harm. Some may not agree but that is both my opinion and experience.

Now – i’ve gotten my mind on another branch entirely so i think i will end this post here.

Our evolution has continued and maybe i’ll be able to get back to this train of thought later! Happy Thursday all! ❤

 

Asking is not demanding; teasing is encouraged!

He likes it when I come on to Him, in a certain way of course, not demanding but more like ‘needing’.

He always has.

He likes it when i tease Him, within reason of course or He puts His big ‘ole bear paw down! *raspberries*

He always has.

He likes it when i’m naughty, not bad naughty but in a sexual way. *wink*

He always has.

If I want more fun in this dynamic and more “Him” the way i crave – i simply need to get out of my own way! *wink*

He likes a sexy, confident, determined submissive who knows her own mind and needs. I just need to remember to show them!

Asking is NOT demanding; teasing is very much welcomed …..

My apologies

I used to do 6 to 8 posts per week, now i’m lucky to do a post every 6 to 8 weeks!! :/

For anyone who may be wondering … life is good and things are going very well in regards to our dynamic as well. We have added a bit more kink (still shy on the impact play due to noise concerns) and fun to our days and that helps with the over all feel/enjoyment of the every day!

I normally take my summers off but due to the covid crises, i have decided to stay open and help the parents in need of childcare while they slowly return to normal work hours. It has hindered some of the things we were hoping to delve into kink wise but over all i’m not feeling cheated, and that’s a good thing!

I think that generally the reason for our success is that i have embraced the type of dominant He wants to be and i have found a nice rhythm in my submission to match. Most importantly – when He adjusts His dominance to suit my energy in submission, i no longer feel like it’s ‘not real’ …. or whatever the tape playing in the heads of submissives wanting to please. *wink*

Life is about learning, growing, changing and just living your best life.

So too is this relationship dynamic.

Happy Friday all! Be well ❤

person holding yellow flower
Photo by Vlad Bagacian on Pexels.com

Ahhhhhh menopause! (and D/s)

I’d love to say that nothing ever gets in the way of these wonderful, kinky escapades of ours … well, i’d love to say that, but it’s simply not true!!

One of the ‘rules’ we have during the summer months is dresses and no panties (unless i ask and there is a reason) when i am not working and when i am with the Bear. I’m fine with it, to be truthful it really doesn’t bother me at all, never has. If anything HAVING to wear undergarments is more of an issue than not having to!

The ‘ladies’ up top are much to proud for me to be bra-less, I do that at home (which yes, i prefer) but not when i go out unless i’m wearing something with a ‘shelfbra’ or something similar. Bear is not one to share and He has no intention of letting anyone see quite that much of His rabbit!!

So to today – i was/am very much in the midst of my subby/slave mindspace and so the pragmatic things that contradict the ‘rules’ seem to be slipping my mind! *raspberries* Enter menopause ….

Well, peri-menopause to be specific. A few years back i noticed (men, you may shield your eyes now ) that when i’m out in some extreme heat and humid conditions i start to sweat profusely. Sounds relatively normal, no? Well, probably not where you would be thinking. I start sweating like crazy between* my* legs* …urmmm, yup, that part! *ugh*

So, today, being all in the *** *** *** mindset, i went ahead and got dressed and ready for my day and didn’t even think to remember some under shorts or panties or something even though we were going to be out in the heat for a bit of time. Granted it shouldn’t have been that long and probably would have just served as a reminder but we ran into a neighbour who had a story to tell and so ….. well there we sat.

Soon i was trying to keep my legs together hoping the lines of sweat weren’t too obvious – then i was ‘casually‘ looking down hoping there was no pooling under my feet!! :O UGH!!! Finally we got on our way when i whispered (shouted) ‘i need to get to the CAR’!!!

Found a towel we keep there for ‘plug’ days and tried to be discreet about the bath i was trying to dry up from ….

*sigh* what a day! Someone once yelled at me because i was discussing menopause on a D/s forum – they said it had nothing to do with D/s. LMAO Yeah, right!

Needless to say i now need to try to get back into the right frame of mind to carry on. It could be a ‘buzz kill’ but i’m not about to let it!

 

So far …

These few weeks back to work have been interesting. Trying to keep up with the ‘dynamic’ energy that we want and keep up with life and responsibilities has not been easy!

For the most part however, Bear seems to be more tuned into His dominant side than He has been in a long time. I don’t think it’s just in my mind although i admit that the shift in thinking for me has been a huge help as well.

Life hasn’t changed much and responsibilities have not lessened, neither has the stress! LoL For some reason however, i think we both have found a nice balance again. There have been a few bumps along the road these two weeks but all in all i feel more connected to my ‘s’ side than i have in a long while as well!

He’s using the ‘tools in His tool box’ more without overthinking it or hesitation and i’m using my communication more without doing the same! So far, it feels really good!

Happy Friday! ❤

A submissive’s pet peeve *laughing*

One thing I hate most about this no panties rule is having to be panty-less and wear a dress!

woman wearing white dress walking on sand
Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Just the other day Bear mentioned that the weather was finally getting warm and He would be requiring me to be wearing dresses again, no panties of course, outside of work.

Now when you wear a flowing dress, you bend over to grab something you see, and when you stand back up the dress has kindly wedged itself in your bum! 😛

I’ve just been reminded of all the times i either squat down to get what i need or i’m quickly pulling and tugging at the material and hoping no one around has noticed!!

Well, no one but one. I’m sure you can all imagine who i catching sporting quite the naughty grin. *sigh*

Pain filled perk!

The second week back to work and Bear is still keeping me on my toes, or ermm …. on my something anyway! *wink*

He left this message for me this morning, to be worn with my morning coffee. OYE!!

Of course, I got up later than usual today and my kid was already rising as well. I could have asked to ‘pass’ on this and pick it up some other time when W wasn’t up already. But if Bear is trying to stay on top of things and keep me engaged, i should try too, right?

W doesn’t normally get out of his room much, he’s a teenager and has all he needs right there! *chuckle* No school or friends to go visit right now so his bedroom has become his ‘man cave’!

Still, doesn’t mean he won’t meander down the stairs for a bite …. so i’m not about to take any chances in getting caught. I’ll have to improvise!

Amazingly enough a sports bra and t-shirt actually hides them quite well! Mind you it also presses and rubs things and intensifies the task for sure!!! :O

He has yet another simple task set for me later, He knows I thrive on pain more so than pleasure, pain is my pleasure. I guess that’s what makes me a masochist! Don’t get me wrong, i like pleasure as well but it’s not the driving force for my submission or my submissive mindset. It’s secondary ….

Next week i go back to work as well, i’m hoping we can maintain this refreshed energy. Normally I take the summers off, due to the current circumstances and need i have decided to work through.

I can’t deny that i’m a bit reluctant.

One thing …..

Just one thing is all it takes sometimes.

He left me one thing to do today, one task for His pleasure. Already my energy has changed and i’m searching to please Him.

He’s not even here! *giggle*

Sometimes all it takes is just one thing …..

No I can’t show you, it’s a bit naughty. *wink*

It didn’t take long and it wasn’t difficult to achieve, but it was His task and with it He has claimed me again!