Doing the math!

I’m finally on summer break! Whew …. it’s been a long time coming. The Covid 19 crises has rearranged my life quite drastically, as with most of you too I’m sure. Before the pandemic hit I had worked myself into a nice and comfortable work schedule that allowed plenty of time for me to focus on my health, physical and mental.

Daily workouts, stretching and some weights along with research of my condition and the best way to cope. Days that were rough I was able to take it easy. Rest when needed or just simply ‘skip’ whatever it was that I was hoping to accomplish on my ‘off’ hours.

In our relationship I had time to focus, think, plan and act to make things as close as possible to our ‘perfect’. Kink was still a work in progress in regards to impact play but after so many years of having to adjust and regroup, we were getting pretty good at finding ways and alternative kinks to keep us balanced.

Then it hit, everything shut down but for me it got BUSY! Every time we have had a lockdown I go from working a couple of hours in the morning and 2 or 3 in the afternoon to working 10+ hours per day. Yeah, it was a big challenge at the best of times to find time, energy or focus to invest in D/s or M/s.

Neither of us was enjoying it. We kept our heads above water and life carried on but there was no doubt that we wanted more, much more from our dynamic than what we were getting. All of these hours of work also took a huge tole on my body. *sigh* So now I start again.

As I mentioned earlier, this year will be about taking care of me – but I’ve also realized (some time now) that A+B=C. When I get to be his slut, his slave, his whore, when he uses me properly and pushes me into subspace …. I feel better. I mean I feel more in control! LoL I know, funny bunny right?

It’s true, the more I get what I need from this, from Him, the more I in turn want to take care of me too. Sure it’s part to do with being his and serving him BUT it also sparks the flame in me to also take care of me. I’m more confident, more balanced and more determined. With my chronic condition – trust me that’s a major bonus!

Anywho, I’m back and I’m hoping to be back more often. I have a lot of catching up to do with all of you I know. If I comment on old posts, it’s just me getting up to speed! If you’ve since moved on just ignore me! LoL I don’t know if this blog will have a different feel, it has been a long time. If you feel chatty, reach out and if not be well!

Maintaining that D/s connection in the every day. Pt. 1

I haven’t written anything in a while and I fear I may be a bit out of practice! I guess you poor souls are about to find out with me! *chuckle*

In the last post I received a couple of comments that were pretty similar. The basic idea was, I think, how have we managed our dynamic this past year with all the ups and downs of a pandemic! How do we keep things engaged in the every day.

In the beginning I think I had an idea that once D/s always D/s but that meant that there was a certain ‘energy’ that I was looking to have ALL THE TIME. The truth is that having a full time, live in relationship AND practicing this dynamic is not really what I had envisioned during the frenzied beginning of exploration. 

To start – I don’t feel ‘submissive’ all the time. If you have been with me for a while you already know that my overall personality tends to be much more in the dominant category. I have tried on and been called many labels over the last few years from ‘Warrior Princess’ to ‘Alfa Submissive’ etc. etc.

Those all have some truth to them but they also don’t really fit. LoL I’ve never been one for labels but I do know that they provide a good starting point for conversation and understanding. As an old friend used to say, the devil is in the details after all! The point is, no I don’t feel that submissive vibe all the time and that’s okay! I don’t need to.

What I have learned is to tap into my own wants and needs and to relay them to my dominant, The Bear! I’ve learned to recognize and honour the feelings I experience and put those into the wants or needs categories, then act on those thoughts and feelings by bringing them to my dominant. 

Submission (and His understanding and support) has taught me to be okay with having needs and being okay with asking to have them met! Go, figure …. you can actually do that in a healthy relationship and it won’t be seen as a weakness!

Life long ago taught me that it takes more strength to ask for help and depend on someone else and submission taught me how to act on that.  

*******

I think my thoughts went a bit off the rails here! LoL But, not a bad first day back?!? 

I’ll be back to the original idea/question – I promise. First let’s see how this one is received *wink*

Happy Thursday! ❤ 

Evolution

i have 15 to 20 well deserved stripes on my backside.

Over the years i think that we have moved from kinky, to D/s, to M/s and all along there has been a strong undertone of DD.

It makes sense really, they are all related (whether or not folks want to admit it)!

I think we have fallen into a truly comfortable harmony right now and I can’t wait to see where the journey takes us next.

As our kinks evolve, so too does our relationship and our dynamic.

Happy wicked Wednesday! *wink*

Writing on my blog or, why i haven’t!

I’ll be honest, sometimes i really just have nothing left to say here, that was the case for a short while. Lately however (since January) i haven’t really written much because i haven’t had the time!

I started working again full time and so my days are busy and spoken for. After hours i normally have a lot of time, we tend to stay around the house even without Covid! The trouble is that i haven’t got the time – alone!

When Bear is home my attentions are always on Him first. I just can’t seem to take myself away to go and write. It’s not that He has ever denied me the time or space, it’s just ME! I can’t do it ….

I know, i’m a hopeless case! *raspberries*

Once school is back in i’m hoping to get back at it in earnest. My days should slow down once more and both writing and working out are on the agenda. They help me physically but also mentally!

Any ideas on topics???

Be well ❤

Asking is not demanding; teasing is encouraged!

He likes it when I come on to Him, in a certain way of course, not demanding but more like ‘needing’.

He always has.

He likes it when i tease Him, within reason of course or He puts His big ‘ole bear paw down! *raspberries*

He always has.

He likes it when i’m naughty, not bad naughty but in a sexual way. *wink*

He always has.

If I want more fun in this dynamic and more “Him” the way i crave – i simply need to get out of my own way! *wink*

He likes a sexy, confident, determined submissive who knows her own mind and needs. I just need to remember to show them!

Asking is NOT demanding; teasing is very much welcomed …..

Still kickin’

I’m still here, still kickin’ around as they say! Things are busy with home life but all in all things are okay.

Kink and D/s is good although a bit less than what i would like, but – what else is new?? *chuckle* Kinky sex is good and it helps to keep us connected but it is not quite enough. For both of us – we could easily fall into a more over all intense, kinky, TPE relationship on most days, but right now the privacy is simply not here.

I say on most days because truthfully life is just that way. I don’t think you can have a full, well rounded life and have only one aspect to it. That’s my opinion, not based on any studies so no need to tell me that ….. *raspberries* I am not a *one trick pony* and that includes my personality and personal life experiences.

Our life is 24/7, 365 for nearly 25 years now (23 married), it most certainly is not all about one thing. I’m not saying things are lacking, don’t get me wrong, just not quite what we aspire to.

The boys are doing well and i think i may be finally on track to figuring out what’s going on with me, physically. That would be another reason why i think Bear is more in ‘care taker’ mode and less in ‘master’. I appreciate that, i can’t say i always like it, but i appreciate it. That’s His main concern after all isn’t it? Taking care of His submissive ….

For anyone following both, i hope to update the other site soon. There are many, many new things and like i mentioned already, hopefully some light at the end of this very long tunnel!

Take care and be well! ❤

 

 

 

I try, honest I try!!

‘You look like you have bunny ears when you bend over …’  

I didn’t know if I should laugh or be shocked!! It was said to me this morning – by a 5 year old!!! :O

I keep kink out of my work day because I work with children. To me, the two simply don’t mix. But then this …. *shakes head but grins*

I suppose it’s better than the day he said he ‘wanted to be down Dora’s throat’!!?!?!!

I try, I swear i try ….!!!! *chuckle*

My apologies

I used to do 6 to 8 posts per week, now i’m lucky to do a post every 6 to 8 weeks!! :/

For anyone who may be wondering … life is good and things are going very well in regards to our dynamic as well. We have added a bit more kink (still shy on the impact play due to noise concerns) and fun to our days and that helps with the over all feel/enjoyment of the every day!

I normally take my summers off but due to the covid crises, i have decided to stay open and help the parents in need of childcare while they slowly return to normal work hours. It has hindered some of the things we were hoping to delve into kink wise but over all i’m not feeling cheated, and that’s a good thing!

I think that generally the reason for our success is that i have embraced the type of dominant He wants to be and i have found a nice rhythm in my submission to match. Most importantly – when He adjusts His dominance to suit my energy in submission, i no longer feel like it’s ‘not real’ …. or whatever the tape playing in the heads of submissives wanting to please. *wink*

Life is about learning, growing, changing and just living your best life.

So too is this relationship dynamic.

Happy Friday all! Be well ❤

person holding yellow flower
Photo by Vlad Bagacian on Pexels.com

So far …

These few weeks back to work have been interesting. Trying to keep up with the ‘dynamic’ energy that we want and keep up with life and responsibilities has not been easy!

For the most part however, Bear seems to be more tuned into His dominant side than He has been in a long time. I don’t think it’s just in my mind although i admit that the shift in thinking for me has been a huge help as well.

Life hasn’t changed much and responsibilities have not lessened, neither has the stress! LoL For some reason however, i think we both have found a nice balance again. There have been a few bumps along the road these two weeks but all in all i feel more connected to my ‘s’ side than i have in a long while as well!

He’s using the ‘tools in His tool box’ more without overthinking it or hesitation and i’m using my communication more without doing the same! So far, it feels really good!

Happy Friday! ❤