Evolution

i have 15 to 20 well deserved stripes on my backside.

Over the years i think that we have moved from kinky, to D/s, to M/s and all along there has been a strong undertone of DD.

It makes sense really, they are all related (whether or not folks want to admit it)!

I think we have fallen into a truly comfortable harmony right now and I can’t wait to see where the journey takes us next.

As our kinks evolve, so too does our relationship and our dynamic.

Happy wicked Wednesday! *wink*

Sub Drop

These past weeks I have been lucky enough to have most of the day to myself. In these hours I have chosen to work on my active submission.

I’ve done things to enhance my mindset and have done things that I know enhance His. It has really been great, we are both (i think) very much engaged in the dominant/submissive vibe and comfortable doing so.

Today however, i have to work all day and so the kink and BDSM is on hold.

I can feel myself slipping into sub drop, the scattered, anxious energy of trying to figure out what to do next. It’s like having no direction …. It is uncomfortable and stressful.

This is what D/s takes away for me. This is why our dynamic works well, but it does have consequences sometimes. Like ‘sub drop’ when you aren’t prepared for the change of energy dictated by ‘life’!

I haven’t experienced anything like this in years …. fortunately i know just what to do about it, just as soon as He gets home. ❤

Happy Monday! 🙂

Asking is not demanding; teasing is encouraged!

He likes it when I come on to Him, in a certain way of course, not demanding but more like ‘needing’.

He always has.

He likes it when i tease Him, within reason of course or He puts His big ‘ole bear paw down! *raspberries*

He always has.

He likes it when i’m naughty, not bad naughty but in a sexual way. *wink*

He always has.

If I want more fun in this dynamic and more “Him” the way i crave – i simply need to get out of my own way! *wink*

He likes a sexy, confident, determined submissive who knows her own mind and needs. I just need to remember to show them!

Asking is NOT demanding; teasing is very much welcomed …..

My apologies

I used to do 6 to 8 posts per week, now i’m lucky to do a post every 6 to 8 weeks!! :/

For anyone who may be wondering … life is good and things are going very well in regards to our dynamic as well. We have added a bit more kink (still shy on the impact play due to noise concerns) and fun to our days and that helps with the over all feel/enjoyment of the every day!

I normally take my summers off but due to the covid crises, i have decided to stay open and help the parents in need of childcare while they slowly return to normal work hours. It has hindered some of the things we were hoping to delve into kink wise but over all i’m not feeling cheated, and that’s a good thing!

I think that generally the reason for our success is that i have embraced the type of dominant He wants to be and i have found a nice rhythm in my submission to match. Most importantly – when He adjusts His dominance to suit my energy in submission, i no longer feel like it’s ‘not real’ …. or whatever the tape playing in the heads of submissives wanting to please. *wink*

Life is about learning, growing, changing and just living your best life.

So too is this relationship dynamic.

Happy Friday all! Be well ❤

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Photo by Vlad Bagacian on Pexels.com

A submissive’s pet peeve *laughing*

One thing I hate most about this no panties rule is having to be panty-less and wear a dress!

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Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Just the other day Bear mentioned that the weather was finally getting warm and He would be requiring me to be wearing dresses again, no panties of course, outside of work.

Now when you wear a flowing dress, you bend over to grab something you see, and when you stand back up the dress has kindly wedged itself in your bum! 😛

I’ve just been reminded of all the times i either squat down to get what i need or i’m quickly pulling and tugging at the material and hoping no one around has noticed!!

Well, no one but one. I’m sure you can all imagine who i catching sporting quite the naughty grin. *sigh*

One thing …..

Just one thing is all it takes sometimes.

He left me one thing to do today, one task for His pleasure. Already my energy has changed and i’m searching to please Him.

He’s not even here! *giggle*

Sometimes all it takes is just one thing …..

No I can’t show you, it’s a bit naughty. *wink*

It didn’t take long and it wasn’t difficult to achieve, but it was His task and with it He has claimed me again!

 

I can throw Him off His throne.

There is something delicate about a dominant that cares, really cares, about the person He is with and the job He is doing.

I think the mainstream term is ‘gas lighting’, I call it manipulation but either way ….

It may be on purpose but I think sometimes it’s just a reaction, a negative reaction to a hard lived life.

The point remains, a submissive can easily dethrone a caring dominant – and a caring dominant can easily be dethroned. That’s where time, wisdom and understanding of your submissive comes into play. The sign of an experienced dominant – OR an experienced submissive!

How do you suppose the Dom learned in the first place?

Yin and Yang – balance – what He holds I yield and what I hold He learns.

Simple, right?? LoL

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Today is a new day.

Having Bear go back to work has s-l-o-w-e-d any obvious kink/D/s to a crawl. Not gone completely, maybe about 60% of the days, but there have been a few factors against us. The days that did involve a more obvious power exchange were still shorter periods of time/intensity than what we had originally discussed. Not that it was a surprise, obviously things changed so plans changed too!

The thing that makes my head spin a bit is that most of the time the PE aspects/orders occur for the time period when he is away! I get it, he’s trying to keep me engaged and occupied while he is away and i appreciate that …… it does feel a bit Bipolar when he gets home and it’s ‘married business/responsibilities’ as usual!

To me one key aspect of being happy in this dynamic is being mindful of what i do have and not focusing only on what i’m not getting that i wish i had. It’s not an easy thing to do, when you have ideas and fantasies and nothing but time to think on them ….. *chuckle* but i am trying!!

Now, i know that i could simply act or do certain things that would probably kick start things at home too. The responsibility for this is not all on his shoulders, it is a two way street and in my opinion that means i need to feed this too.

Like i said though, things get in the way.    *Men may want to skip ahead, female problems ahead! 😛 LoL*

Primarily, i have been in a flareup now for a few weeks/month and i haven’t much energy or ability to do much by the end of day! The couple nights i had hoped to ‘reach over to his side of the bed’ i started bleeding, or so i thought and then it stopped! Gotta love peri-menopause …. never know when/never know how much or how long. The week before things start is always a bad week and now that i’m already in a flare …. yeah it’s been fun! *sarcasm* I have had more kinky plans squashed because of the guessing game that is my cycle these days. Yes, I know you can still if you want to but when i start, it’s like a damn has been broken, not to mention the muscles/cramps become intolerable. Anyhow ….

Yesterday I spent the entire day on the couch, not because of covid, because i am not well. I had plenty of things i wanted to get to but none got done! Sitting around of course just makes me more tired and more sore and the cycle worsens. My ‘everything’ still hurts today but i can’t spend another day on the couch so i’m putting on my submissive thinking cap and trying to figure out what i can do to please him.

Not sure if sex will be on or off the table by the time he gets in, like i said things change in an instant! Sometimes (usually) back again too! *shakes head* But i’m sure i can think of something else he’d enjoy.

He doesn’t expect me to be a service submissive and it’s not like i don’t normally have everything clean and organized, meals made and home well taken care of. All that stuff is just done by whomever happens to be home and able and yes it’s usually me these days but it’s not part of our D/s. It’s simply life responsibilities … plus i might be a bit particular and have some OCD. (No comment needed if you read this, Bear!)

With any luck i’ll get my workout in and get some extra things done. I’m not ‘dressing up’ because we have a chiropractor appointment when he gets in, not really a place to wear a dress! lol The weather has been cold and wet and that keeps my raynaud’s on high making me too cold for that anyway.

Like i said, it’s not easy but i’m trying to focus on what i have and what i can do. Not sure what that will end up being yet but it HAS to be better than sitting on the couch getting more sore and tired!

Happy Friday! ❤

 

 

Well, that was fun.

Shame it didn’t last long!! 😛

Bear had been told last week Thursday that he was officially off work.

We did a bit of talking Thursday night and some more Friday to be sure we were on the same page with what our ‘dynamic’ hopes and dreams were for this upcoming free time! Yes, we have been doing this a long time now and Yes we do still check in every time something changes in life to make sure that we are both on the same page.

It’s not so much that I am trying to take the lead or influence, it’s more that if we have different unspoken ideas, well, i think we have all been down that road a time or two, haven’t we?? Generally it would lead to frustration, feelings of rejection or unworthiness, anger and worst of all – feeling like we really weren’t cut out for this and would never achieve what we had set out to do!! OYE!

Fortunately, at least for now (LoL) we have learned our lesson and we talk out the details. He still picks what direction we go and how fast or slow we get there BUT I offer input and opinions. It was a large hurdle for me to get past, the idea that I can speak up and if he decides to go with my input, it’s still D/s. He is still in charge and leading and we are still on the right path, for us!

So, that’s what we did …. and we got to enjoy a few days of a much more deliberate and mindful D/s relationship. We even managed to get in some impact play, it does still make me nervous with all the issues that have happened in the past and with my youngest still here but we are being careful! Most everything happened in the morning hours and the rest of the day was calmer and less obvious. It did give me a good idea of what and where he would like things to go when we finally have the room/privacy.

I was a lot more active in my submission and ‘offering’ of myself and ideas and it worked out very well. Another one of my hangups that I have worked to overcome. All I can say is that ‘right or wrong’ we are both much happier and it works out well for us. So I quit overthinking it! 😛 *chuckle*

And then Tuesday night his boss called and wanted to know if he was ready/willing to get back to work! Of course …. I can’t say it wasn’t disappointing but at least he has a job, right? At the moment, I don’t.

So here I am again, so far not much in the way of a ‘crash’ after getting my hopes up, which is good. He has been engaging with me from work, although very little because … well, he’s at work! 😛 LoL I think it has helped to ease things back to a bit ‘less’ more easily.

That’s about all from here! So, how are you guys??