Just a thought ….

i don’t believe that a happy relationship is about being in tune or about matching up …

i think the way to get the most out of life and love is to find someone who can join you in harmony ….

one leads the other, one augments the other … and vice versa

Harmony

It felt nice, finally! <3

It felt good to write today. It wasn’t much or long but it felt good.

I write because it helps me to balance my thoughts, my life. It decompresses the day and helps me move on.

It’s not for follows, or likes, or because I want recognition …. it’s just for me.

If it amuses, or enlightens, or helps … than that’s great. But the reality is i like to write, and it helps me …. 

Thanks for sticking around anyway!! *wink*

Oh, for F’s sakes!!

Remember that week i said i might have??? The one to be nijntje??

Well just now found out that my uncle had a stroke yesterday …. he should hopefully be ok.

Also, his daughter, my niece, has a growth on the back of her neck and now she can’t see out of one eye.

She’s been out of country for some time, i guess she’s back!!

*wry laughter* so much for my week …. ! 😛

i blame BDSM and the kinky community!

In life there are so many people and so many ideas and so many sensitivities.

So many mental health and even physical health issues that you hear about or are experiencing or are close to someone who is … etc etc

We all hear this idea of understanding, don’t we. We hear this idea of ‘everybody experiences things differently’ and so on. And we try to understand, and we try to listen and hear and just get an idea of what exactly it is that seems to make them feel it so much differently, but it’s hard to get, isn’t it?

Well i get it now, at least i think i’m closer to getting it now!

I used to try and understand and be supportive but i admit that my pragmatic brain had a very hard time making it make sense, to me. I got it in theory but in reality ….. it just seemed so far away.

Enter BDSM and kink and the venture into the community! I started to read and see the feelings, the experience, the way one action could be felt in such a different way from one person to another. I also got to experience it first hand!

Some things that i read others hated i just was so comfortable and turned on by i almost hesitate to write this!! LoL Other things that were said to be just the most intense … well, i felt not much at all. Things that some felt were ‘bleh’ i had the most extreme reactions too!

So now, when i speak to someone or read something or try to understand what my child is going through, i get it! I understand that what i find common place can be something that sends his anxiety into a tail spin. I understand that just because the comment someone made rolled off my back it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt or offend someone else.

I get it! I really do have an understanding of how it feels and how it can be so different, even if the situation and action was the same for multiple people. The outcome can be different, and it must be respected!

So I get it, really get it in a way that I don’t think i would have the depth of feeling in if not for our fore into the BDSM and kinky community.

So yes, i blame BDSM and i blame the community … so thank you! *wink*

Not exactly what it seems, this D/s.

I’ve been a bit flustered as of late. I think that’s probably the best descriptor. Some of it in the previous post and some of it here as well. Some of it i haven’t even begun to put down in writing.

There is a lot going on in my mind right now but ‘submissive’ is not really something on the forefront. Not in the kinky, posturing sort of way anyhow. The more frustrated I get the more stupid little things irritate me. Things He does make me grit my teeth and bite my tongue …. and not so much because of D/s but more because I know it’s not right.

I think when you get into a 24/7 D/s relationship it really isn’t all that different from any other committed relationship for the most part. We’re not kinking it up 24/7, as nice as it may sound it is simply not possible.

We are parents first and foremost, the kids need our time and attention. Next is jobs of course, and then pets …. time, money, emotional struggles both ours or someone close. All of that doesn’t go away because you adopt D/s as a lifestyle. Not when you live together!

But the D/s shouldn’t go away either, just because of ‘life’ stuff, because that stuff will always be there.

So I texted Him and told Him that I didn’t want any ‘kinky stuff’ today. The things that usually keep me thinking of Him and us in that way are today just an irritation. My body is not having any of it and my mind is ready to spin out of control.

He agreed …

He is still He and i am still me but today i need to keep it low key, for my own peace. Sometimes peace comes inside D/s and sometimes it comes from outside in a manner of speaking.

Today i just need to STOP.

He doesn’t point fingers, complain or blame. He stays and holds things steady, He waits for me to be ready. He supports and He watches. And when the time is right He starts again.

That’s what makes Him a dominant, not the ropes ….. *wink*

Oh geez, it’s only Tuesday!?!?! UGH

 

Is it real?? or play ….

I had started this conversation but i stumbled upon this:

Reality Check

 ‘essay by Anton

His website, although i’m not certain it’s still active:

Consensual Dominance

Theory and Practical Advice for Doing it Well

It explains well the contradictions we find ourselves in when we ‘play’ the way we do and why it’s no less real than any other aspect of our lives. Why we can be queen of His world one day, and a piece of property on another, and both be very much real.

I hope you read the essay if you have had this question, it really is well written. 🙂 He explains why it requires a deep understanding of self, and honesty ….

Enjoy! ❤

Holy Hanna!! I think the world is coming to an end ….

I put that call out to the universe yesterday and today my baby brother emailed me, three times!

I saw him once almost a year ago and 5 years before that!

My youngest has the last week and a half battled some serious medical side effects and in the last two days made all his classes.

Today, tonight he has just told us he would like to go sleep over at a friends. It’s a family we have known and respected for a long time. We have no problem with that ……………… it’s the first time in probably 10 years he has even considered sleep outside of his own home, grandparents included.

I have always believed that we are all connected somehow in our energy ….. but this?

Ssshhhhhh, don’t jinx it!

Blue Trees (a re-blog)

This is a copy and paste from my dear friend, Kitten. Not what i normally post on this site but it is too important not to share! I know mental health has affected my family, support is important.

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There is a terrible disease of gum trees in Australia called die back and it is a growing problem in the Australian bush. The remnants stand as silent grey sentinels as monuments to what we are losing. One day I was given this picture of a dead tree with die back and the stark contrast of the bright blue made it stand out from it’s surrounding.

I thought it was a one off, an attempt to jazz up something that simply stood for loss. Something about it was haunting and I had to look it up on the computer and I was shocked to find what it was all about.

There is a group in Australia called ‘Beyond Blue’ that you can contact to get help and someone to talk to with regards to depression. I expect there are dozens of groups like them all over the world.

Now what do blue trees and Beyond Blue have in common? Well it seems, quite a lot. People are painting dead trees blue if they know of someone that died as a result of depression or have fought against the disease. I found it so touching I had to share it with my blogging friends as I know they might find it interesting.

I also think it is such a great cause it might be nice to spread the word across the world.

As this post is so very important you can copy and paste it to your own blog. I don’t need recognition for it.

Depression is a silent killer and the only way to defeat it is by seeking help. Take a stance and vow that not one more person should die as a result of this disease. Reach out to those you think might be depressed and simply say, ‘Are you ok?’

If you, or someone you know needs help, please seek medical help, or encourage them to do the same. I am certain if you google ‘depression’ on your computer you will find help. There will be places you can phone, all you need do is reach out. I believe the Samaritans still have phone lines and help people through a bad time.

Depression is a physical as well as a  mental disorder and you are not alone in this. It is nothing to be ashamed of or something that needs hiding. A problem shared is a problem halved. Look I could quote all of these cliches but it boils down to please seek help.

kitten

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Food for thought

“There is a vanity in excess penance …. you must have sustenance. “

I think us over achievers and perfectionists would do well to remember this saying. As submissives and dominants alike, beating ourselves up over things that didn’t quite work only damages what we want to work towards anyway.

Look, listen, learn and then move on. Apologize if it’s appropriate but release yourself from the guilt and get back to a happy balanced state.

For me personally this is where any sort of punishment comes in, it allows me to have closure and move on. It’s not about being beat black and blue like some accounts i have read, it’s not about changing behaviour either because frankly it doesn’t work!

It’s about closure, releasing of guilt and getting back to balance. 

Happy Friday! ❤