Doing the math!

I’m finally on summer break! Whew …. it’s been a long time coming. The Covid 19 crises has rearranged my life quite drastically, as with most of you too I’m sure. Before the pandemic hit I had worked myself into a nice and comfortable work schedule that allowed plenty of time for me to focus on my health, physical and mental.

Daily workouts, stretching and some weights along with research of my condition and the best way to cope. Days that were rough I was able to take it easy. Rest when needed or just simply ‘skip’ whatever it was that I was hoping to accomplish on my ‘off’ hours.

In our relationship I had time to focus, think, plan and act to make things as close as possible to our ‘perfect’. Kink was still a work in progress in regards to impact play but after so many years of having to adjust and regroup, we were getting pretty good at finding ways and alternative kinks to keep us balanced.

Then it hit, everything shut down but for me it got BUSY! Every time we have had a lockdown I go from working a couple of hours in the morning and 2 or 3 in the afternoon to working 10+ hours per day. Yeah, it was a big challenge at the best of times to find time, energy or focus to invest in D/s or M/s.

Neither of us was enjoying it. We kept our heads above water and life carried on but there was no doubt that we wanted more, much more from our dynamic than what we were getting. All of these hours of work also took a huge tole on my body. *sigh* So now I start again.

As I mentioned earlier, this year will be about taking care of me – but I’ve also realized (some time now) that A+B=C. When I get to be his slut, his slave, his whore, when he uses me properly and pushes me into subspace …. I feel better. I mean I feel more in control! LoL I know, funny bunny right?

It’s true, the more I get what I need from this, from Him, the more I in turn want to take care of me too. Sure it’s part to do with being his and serving him BUT it also sparks the flame in me to also take care of me. I’m more confident, more balanced and more determined. With my chronic condition – trust me that’s a major bonus!

Anywho, I’m back and I’m hoping to be back more often. I have a lot of catching up to do with all of you I know. If I comment on old posts, it’s just me getting up to speed! If you’ve since moved on just ignore me! LoL I don’t know if this blog will have a different feel, it has been a long time. If you feel chatty, reach out and if not be well!

4 thoughts on “Doing the math!

  1. I’m the same, though we are an LDR. When Sir tasks me it adds a considerable amount to my work load. But with the focus on him and his needs/wants I also seem to unlock a side of me which is otherwise inaccessible. Self care and organisation.. Submission gives me more control too. I’m so pleased to read I’m not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh hello, BFS! I’m not sure why it happens that way exactly, it will be something I will ponder over the summer months but I do have a theory that there are others too! *smiles*
      I have over the years read about more than one, especially long term relationships, where the female sub in particular feels this way but sadly it seems they all feel that they are doing something wrong. This is a long thought and I’ll need to get back to it once I’m more clear – but let’s just say I think it’s a ‘thing’! LoL


      1. It’s a shame they feel they are doing something wrong. I think ots the sign of a wonderful Dom/Owner/Master to empower their submissive to greater things. Just because we are sub doesn’t mean we are lesser than.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Exactly!! 🙂 It also doesn’t mean we need to ‘feel’ or ‘be’ submissive all the time. If that makes sense. There is nothing wrong with feeling in control even while being his submissive. (His being what I am most familiar with, not sure how other M/m or F/m or F/f work out in this math!) lol


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