You see, if my needs are not being met than i have no want, or need to chase after him like his little *blank blank*.
Perhaps it is time to start taking care of my damn self, that’s much more natural to me anyway.
He used to ‘read’ me religiously, like a bible he wanted to learn. A thing to be understood, revered and worshiped.
Now …. now he would rather play Bejeweled or some dumb shit on his phone. I am not one to beg, not like this.
I know how to get him engaged, it’s what i’ve written about for almost 4 years now, but it has to be more than one sided.
I am frustrated and irritated and pretty much over trying.
He won’t read this anyway and i haven’t much going on with comments and the like. Perhaps it’s time to throw in the towel as they say.
When i hope and expect than i get angry and disappointed. If i don’t care or want than life goes on and i’m okay.
You know the definition of insanity, right? I may be crazy but i’m not insane, nor stupid.
I have so many other things going on, and i’m in constant pain. I don’t have the energy to carry this alone. *shrug*
“I’m not foolin’ myself.”