The difference between real and role play, for me.
I’m not entirely sure if this will come out as a coherent post but I feel I need to get it out of my head so here goes. It might be a bit confusing to some of you because it goes against everything I normally talk about, sort of! LoL
The idea of being ‘molded’ into the perfect ‘slave’. (BTW I really hate that term, it undermines everything real slaves went through to me but that’s another thought.) I know that when given the opportunity I really do enjoy that type of dynamic, for a while. This wouldn’t however be something that I consider ‘real life’.
Given the opportunity to slip away into this space where I get to be and act in such a way that is completely controlled by the Bear is a very good way for me to ‘check out’ of reality for a while and simply be. It’s calming, its relaxing and it’s a safe space done with someone you trust.
See, I haven’t got a thing against playing this way, but that’s all it would be, to me …. It’s play, it’s a fantasy, an escape from reality BUT it’s not real life. It would be a role I take on for a short while, just long enough to be rid of stress and worry.
For those who play online only, or have contact with their doms or subs maybe once per week, or once per month, I can certainly see the appeal of playing this way. But THIS does not translate well to a full-time 24/7 relationship where you live together, play together and share all other responsibilities like kids, work, house, etc. That would be where everyone says ‘real life’ gets in the way of their dynamic.
I enjoy the role, I won’t deny it but that’s all it is, it’s a role, it’s not something that I get molded into 24/7. When things were good we played this way from Friday night to Sunday, mid day. It gave just enough time to ‘come down’ and talk and regroup for Monday morning.
When life got complicated we went back to basics, I wrote about the ‘rules‘ so you know what I mean. Now a days we use trigger words to tell each other what we want/need and when opportunity shows itself we try to take advantage.
The core of the relationship is always the same, the important stuff never goes by the way side but the fantasy we like to play at is put in that category for us, a fantasy.
Being at someone’s beck and call 24/7 and pushing all your own wants and needs out of your mind is not a mentally healthy way to be. It’s a co-dependent relationship at best and very mentally hurtful at its worst.
It’s a great mental break, I’ll give you that. It’s no different from role-playing in one of those video games but you leave most of it behind when you shut the game down. You don’t continue with that persona. Yes, parts will be with you because they are just who you are and it works well with your day-to-day, but not everything.
If I was to play video games I’m sure I’d pick the kick ass warrior with sword and shield and take out the bad guys one by one, BUT in the real world I don’t really chop people in half!
See, part real, part fantasy. Fun yes but not something that I could, or should continue 24/7 ….
This is part of who I am. Does that make my submission a fake role I play? No, but it does need to be put in perspective. Checking out of reality for a while and letting Him take it all on is a great vacation but eventually we all have to return to ‘work’ don’t we?
It doesn’t make it fake but it does speak to the idea of being realistic with your rules and expectations, from both side.
I understand the concept and I love being bound and at His mercy, completely from time to time. That would not go over very well in the middle of my work day however or if something comes up in life while He is not here, would it?
So why would He, or I, want to have me mentally bound 24/7?