It’s official!

It’s true, it’s official! I’ve always known what i like and what i don’t ..

What i need in my life and what i really have no use for! I was right ….

I hate Facebook. I don’t like having to be ‘nice’ and ‘like’ and all that, all the time.

I don’t like people-ing as it is, having to do it in print, it seems to be even worse in feel. UGH

I’m there because of my work, in case you are wondering. In my field, advertising and promoting has gone by way of FB, so here i am. 😛

You need ‘friends’ in order to look credible but then all of your ‘friends’ stuff shows up on your feed. I’ll be honest, i don’t care! I really don’t, i mean it’s important to you and i get that …. but i don’t want to know.

If i shut it all off, it makes me look less likable, but i need to see what’s being said so i can stay relevant.

Yeah, still hate FB. Sorry, not my cup of tea!

In other news ….. 10 days on FB has me working at full capacity, so time to write has not been available. I miss writing, i miss responding, i miss you all. Let’s hope i can hop back in here and there!


A little inspiration!

A big day for my U.S. friends today.

I’ve always had a great imagination, I hope you do too.

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man


(from “Imagine: John Lennon” soundtrack)

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today… Aha-ah…

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace… You…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world… You…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

“These are not the droids you’re looking for ….”

I received a certain, angry email last night from the same person who has been making my brain ‘spin out’ for the last couple of weeks. Well, that certainly proved any hypothesis I might have had, not that I’m happy about that fact but I’m not surprised.

This note is for them, because I have a feeling ….

Not everything you see or read out there on the internet is specific to you, even if there are similarities. Welcome to the new world of human interaction. We can all find similarities with almost anything we find out there, if we look hard enough. Sometimes it’s not even that hard, but it doesn’t make it about you.

I have spent the better part of this year supporting, backing and advocating for things specific to you. Were my words ever veiled or abstract?

I have stuck my neck out there to rail against those who harmed you and your family, I got nothing out of it.

I have written and tried to explain the ‘lifestyle’ in such a way that your family and friends could understand and accept. I have advocated diversity therein so that your relative could be comfortable in their role despite what has been said to them.

I have even advocated for YOUR lifestyle choice even though it is not currently mine because understanding and inclusion is what makes for a better world, and I believe is the right thing to do.

What else was there, oh yes, the entire ‘stalker’ series on your behalf. It was not in ‘my back yard’ as they say, I could have easily ignored it and moved on, but I didn’t.

Again, was any of that done in a round about way, or am I always straight forward and upfront? So in the spirit of that statement, yes bug lady, THIS one IS about you.

Since I’m being upfront, you have gone from being a victim to being the stalker in my opinion. You have taken it upon yourself to find and read sites that don’t interest you simply to shame and berate their life choices on your own site. 

You are throwing an awfully large net over an entire group of people who you really know nothing about and frankly don’t understand. I’m pretty sure when I made a similar comment to you is when you started to turn against me as well.

You have been through a lot and I don’t blame you for being angry and lashing out. I know people have done things that were deplorable, BUT IT WASN’T ALL OF US.

You used to email me in a panic because someone read your blog and then went and blogged about you, or so you thought. The first one was likely I admit, but the others?? Honestly I didn’t see a connection, or at least not any more connection then the other 326,870,573 people and that’s in the USA alone.

Please, look at what I just said. Who’s stalking who now?

You are acting with more and more anger all the time, making connections that simply don’t apply and worst of all you are now badgering people who have done absolutely nothing to you.

I am not judging because that is not my place, I know you have been through a lot and I know you are reacting to emotions that are brought up by things you don’t understand. Yes, yes, I know …. you don’t react on your emotions, you think it all through first, obviously.

My point is that the path filled with hate is dark and lonely. It brings you down and eventually eats you up so that there is simply nothing left. Is this really where you want to put all of your energy? Don’t you have more worthy places to concentrate on?

Look at my track record over the better part of a year. Does it seem like I would now post something simply to razz you?

And just for the record THIS will be the only thing I write that pertains to you. Any other posts bearing any similarities will be strictly coincidental, so please, no more angry emails.

Thank you.

Me, stubborn? Nah!

When we first started down this path I was the one to ask the Bear to try out this ‘lifestyle’. It was shortly after we had already decided to play around in the bedroom with some of these concepts and rituals. I was enjoying the quiet my mind felt when we played that way and I remembered some reading I had done early on, by a dominant, of how things really worked 24/7.  Curious to see if I could keep that quiet a bit longer through my days, I asked.

I was always the one in charge of everything before. It made sense, I was home, I was the mom and the kids and their issues really was my area of expertise. It fits perfectly with my personality type anyway, the planner, the organizer, the one with the direction and determination to keep things moving. Before I stayed home to work I ran a billing and accounting department for a couple of internet companies, I know money, I know budgets and I know how to make a long-term plan.

Everything from vacations, to finances to kids and school and home. All of it was on my shoulders, alone. Needless to say it was a bit of pressure being always on when I had another perfectly capable adult standing next to me. When the boys were younger it wasn’t such a big deal but as they grew and their issues grew I became more and more wrapped up in my head, every second planning and thinking. It was never-ending and I was getting exhausted.

I felt like a single mom (not that there is anything wrong with that) and I wanted Him to start helping to pull some of that weight.

The Bear had one condition, just one really. He would only take on this new lifestyle on a trial run IF He was given full control over taking care of me. *Apparently* I’m stubborn and don’t know when to quit, I do too much and push myself too far …. not sure where He gets that idea from!?!

My point here is that His FIRST PRIORITY is my welfare, period. If He can’t keep me happy, safe and balanced in this He will not do it. (No, I’m not saying my happiness is in His hands, well yes but no. No one is charged with making you happy, you make yourself happy, it comes from within, but just for the sake of the post … we’ll say it this way.)

If your dom/me doesn’t find that to be a priority of theirs than perhaps the relationship is not one you want. If you’re looking to play around and that’s all than have at it. It’s no different from ‘vanilla’ casual sex relationships, but if you want more, get more, or leave.

There are people out there that want to keep it causal, there are people out there who want to be treated poorly, there are people out there who really do enjoy being miserable. They are happy in their constant state of angst, so let them be.

To the rest of you, if that’s not what you want than don’t settle, there is more and you can do more. If the current ‘community’ outlets are not allowing for that than move else where. There are enough of you, move your platform and do your own thing. The current platforms started somewhere …. you can to.

I know some of you have lost a friend recently and this by no means has anything to do with that so I hope my song choice doesn’t offend. 

You can’t ‘save’ everyone, not everyone wants to be ‘saved’. This is not a new concept.

Live and Let Die – PAUL McCARTNEY & WINGS

So to my friends out there trying to make a difference or getting wrapped up in the fact that some simply don’t want to hear you, let them go.


I wasn’t going to but …

This is one of my favourite artists and I think a lot of people reference him but really don’t know what he’s saying.

Personally I think he’s brilliant, I think he has had a lot to work through in life and I think he’s showing people the way out of h3ll. Or trying to ….

This is my ‘go to’ song when things get hard and I need a boost to my energy levels to keep fighting. And I will always keep fighting. So here’s today’s song:

“I’m not afraid (I’m not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you’re not alone
Holler if you feel like you’ve been down the same road (same road)”

“Not Afraid”

I’m not afraid (I’m not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you’re not alone
Holler if you feel like you’ve been down the same road (same road)Yeah, it’s been a ride
I guess I had to, go to that place, to get to this one
Now some of you, might still be in that place
If you’re trying to get out, just follow me
I’ll get you there

You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay ’em
But you won’t take the sting out these words before I say ’em
‘Cause ain’t no way I’mma let you stop me from causing mayhem
When I say I’mma do something I do it,
I don’t give a damn what you think,
I’m doing this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it’s gassed up, if it thinks it’s stopping me
I’mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I’m tearing down your balcony
No ifs, ands or buts, don’t try to ask him why or how can he
From “Infinite” down to the last “Relapse” album
He’s still shitting, whether he’s on salary paid hourly
Until he bows out or he shits his bowels out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He’s married to the game, like a “fuck you” for Christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the Earth, he’s got the urge
To pull his dick from the dirt, and fuck the whole universe

I’m not afraid (I’m not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you’re not alone
Holler if you feel like you’ve been down the same road (same road)

Okay quit playing with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap
I shouldn’t have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it’s a rap
You said you was king, you lied through your teeth,
For that fuck your feelings/fillings,
Instead of getting crowned you’re getting capped
And to the fans, I’ll never let you down again, I’m back
I promise to never go back on that promise,
in fact let’s be honest,
that last “Relapse” CD was eh
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground
Relax, I ain’t going back to that now
All I’m trying to say is get back, click-clack, blow
‘Cause I ain’t playing around
It’s a game called circle and I don’t know how, I’m way too up to back down
But I think I’m still trying to figure this crap out
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn’t, this fucking black cloud
Still follows me around but it’s time to exorcise these demons
These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!

I’m not afraid (I’m not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you’re not alone
Holler if you feel like you’ve been down the same road (same road)

And I just can’t keep living this way
So starting today, I’m breaking out of this cage
I’m standing up, I’mma face my demons
I’m manning up, I’mma hold my ground
I’ve had enough, now I’m so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now! (now)

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly, I probably did it subliminally
For you, so I could come back a brand-new me you helped see me through
And don’t even realize what you did, ’cause believe me you
I’ve been through the ringer, but they could do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
My world, haters can make like bees with no stingers
And drop dead, no more beef lingers
No more drama from now on, I wanna promise
To focus solely on handling my responsibilities as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof, like my daughters
And raise it, you couldn’t lift a single shingle on it!
‘Cause the way I feel, I’m strong enough to go to the club
Or the corner pub, and lift the whole liquor counter up
‘Cause I’m raising the bar
I’d shoot for the moon but I’m too busy gazing at stars
I feel amazing and I’m…

I’m not afraid (I’m not afraid)
To take a stand (to take a stand)
Everybody (everybody)
Come take my hand (come take my hand)
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just letting you know that you’re not alone
Holler if you feel like you’ve been down the same road (same road)

Thoughts on a Thursday

I’m not really a ‘people person’, not truthfully. I’m an introvert and with that comes the need for quiet and solitude. There is only one person I long to be with 24/7, I’ll let you figure out who! *chuckle*

That said, I do WELL in social situations, I excel at it really. I always seem to be the social butterfly and the life of the party, I just need plenty of quiet time afterwards to recharge and recoup!

Just like everything in life it’s about balance.

I don’t want to be a recluse, not that I see anything really wrong with that …… LoL I just don’t want to be that way ALL the time.

Why is this on my mind now? Well with today being my last day of work for the summer I’m staring at an empty summer schedule with nowhere to be and no one to see (outside of doctor’s appointments) for two months!

The Bear will be home for some of that and every evening of course, but that leaves an awful lot of days just to myself. Humm …. what shall I do?

I’ve already had plenty of ‘oh we have to do lunch ..’ s … but again, not really a people person remember!? LoL No one else knows that, except for the Bear. Anyone else would tell you I’m very extroverted! *chuckle* If they only knew.

So my mind is thinking that it would be nice to find an online community I could talk to from time to time, some like-minded people to spend my day with, without actually having to see people! *wink* Sounds perfect, right?

Well I have tried it before and found it more trouble than it was worth. I have a hard time dealing with the personas that the assumed anonymity seems to create, and the drama that comes from that.

My recent exposure to the stalker incident has also made it less and less appealing. I’m not interested in anyone else and I’m not at all submissive to anyone else. Want to see how much trouble that could stir up if some fool decided to start something just because I say I’m the Bear’s submissive?? LoL Fun times I’m sure.

(In case anyone is curious, after I left the post to ‘dear stalker’ telling him to either get my attention or bugger off nothing much has happened. I said I wasn’t going to read his drivel and I haven’t gone back. As to me and mine, nothing here to make me care or wonder, so … )

So if the next few months bring about posts that sound like I am talking to an imaginary friend or like the rabbit really has truly lost her marbles, don’t worry! I’m just bored! *giggle*

I wonder what the Bear would say if I started remodeling the bathroom!?!?

Once upon a time …

Early in my travels online (this time around, I did ‘online’ before a home pc was a normal thing) and with D/s-type sites, I ran into the ‘rules and regulations’ of being in a ‘real’ D/s relationship ….

I hope you all see a whole lot of wrong with that statement, anyway …

A couple of things struck me as both funny and ridiculous. One, in order to be D/s you must watch porn …. Hummm, anyway. Point two, if you have a ‘real’ D/s relationship, you WILL eventually reach the point when/where you will add a third to your relationship.

Well, they did provide some interesting entertainment for a while, but needless to say I had my fill and moved on. Apparently I don’t have a ‘real’ D/s relationship! Look at me, I’m SOOO worried about it …. LOL

When the internet wasn’t a ‘thing’ we learned the difference between a real newspaper with real and researched information and the fake and for profit and shock value fairy tales. (No, I’m not saying the papers always had it right.)

Just because someone posted it on the internet and the site looks pretty and professional DOESN’T mean its good information.

Please use your own mind and common sense ….

This applies to any topic!

Happy Hump Day! *wink*


Question ….?

Is anyone having trouble getting to this site? Is it being picked up as ‘harmful’ by chance? Or is that just me?

I’m having a feeling that might be why/how my comments were silenced last time ….

Please let me know. I don’t want to contact WP or Askimet without all the facts!

Thank You!!! 😀

Re-Blog – need to read in this age of cyber stalking

Research shows that women are up to twice as likely to develop PTSD, but research, treatments and laws are all designed with the combat veteran in mind….. ….Movies like The Hurt Locker and Jacob’s Ladder have portrayed PTSD in military men, but a woman named Melody Hensley who was diagnosed with PTSD from cyberstalking was […]


Personal Post – Dear Stalker

I’ll write this as personal, and it is. It’s in response to something I read.

You must be ‘James Bond’ or a real coward. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t hide behind veiled accusations and threats.

The secret behind the power of the necklace is that it was put on a rabbit with a hell of a dominant streak. *wink* Ever watch Monty Python? I’m just a cute little bunny rabbit ….

I might submit to one man, but never anyone else.

Have fun chasing your tail BTW …. ‘Friends, country men, lend me your ears …. ‘