I don’t feel so good :(

I haven’t been feeling so good lately. A ramble ….

When i’m happy and feeling okay i’m pretty silly and goofy. Carefree i guess you could say and happy to the point of the ridiculous. Bear seems to enjoy every minute of it! *raspberries*

When i have things to do and life to take care of i put on my ‘serious side’ and i get things done. Still in a good mood and all but certainly not hopping from side to side sporting a goofy grin! *wink*

When i’m not feeling so good and i have things to do i can feel the weight of the ‘serious’ rabbit having to ‘buck up’ and carry on. i count down the hours until Bear is home because an unwell bunny is a small creature, wanting to curl up tight some where and have no worries at all!!

Bear has been travelling for work more and more these days. Not over night but out of town will sometimes mean later days …. later days mean that bunny has to wait. Bunny makes busy and tried to make Bear proud BUT a sick bunny just feels the weight of the extra time, extra hard.

Bear likes this new side of His job, i know He likes being able to spread out His abilities a bit more and i know Bear is an extrovert at heart and likes the travel and the meeting new people too!

He’s waited for the boys to get bigger before doing anything like this but now His day has come.

I don’t like when Bear is away and i really don’t like when Bear is late …. it’s like the wait physically turns into weight with each passing minute.

Just don’t tell Bear, i don’t want Him feeling guilty …. He deserves to reap the benefits of His hard work.

I just wish i’d get better so it wasn’t so physically hard on me.



He said, no.

I don’t often talk about my chronic issues on this blog, not in any great detail, but today the power exchange and the vanilla world come together in a way that i can’t really explain on the other one.

I have a few things i battle daily and fibro and CTD (connective tissue disease) are only the tip of the iceberg but they have been at me with a vengeance recently and affecting my routine/life! Moving is becoming increasingly difficult and i’ve had to take pain medications which i really don’t like to do.

This gets in the way of my rule of daily exercise. It’s one of the rules Bear has for my own well being and was put in place of my own asking. When i don’t work out i don’t feel well, mentally or physically. Setting Him in charge means i don’t make excuses and talk myself out of it, so i don’t put myself into a dangerous downward spiral. But there is more ….

Setting Him in charge also means that i don’t set myself up for harm. He knows how rough the last couple of weeks have been for me and how rough the last few days in particular have been. When i told Him how i was feeling today He instantly told me ‘no workout’.

Personally i knew i probably should skip today, not only are my legs/knees aching but now my ankles are sore as well. Really sore, and i’ve got bruising that is appearing around my ankles and up that area of my leg. I haven’t hit anything, i don’t know where they are coming from but they are in line with the most intense areas of pain. I was still debating whether or not i should workout ….. i don’t like having to give in. Doing too much has always been a bigger issue for me than not doing.

But He said no, so i’m writing this out, my body is still screaming at me and i’m going to give up typing for now because my legs and lower joints are not the only ones affected unfortunately. But i wanted to depict how D/s and vanilla collide and why they work well together.

He might not be able to do much about my pain but He can keep me from hurting myself further. My submission alleviates my perfectionism, following orders seems to do away with the guilt i would feel otherwise for sitting today out!


How to Have Multiple Orgasms — General Health Magazine

An interesting write-up on what most consider ‘edging’ i would think. I think it also explains why many of us like to delay gratification. According to the article, the orgasm for a man actually happens before ejaculation anyway! *wink* So why not keep that feeling going and going??

It’s possible to have multiple orgasms if you’re a guy — it just takes some practice If you learn to control your ejaculation, you can have multiple non-ejaculatory orgasms The orgasms won’t feel quite as strong as ejaculatory orgasms — but if you want to try it out, here are some tips to make it […]

via How to Have Multiple Orgasms — General Health Magazine

A re-blog for mental health awareness month

This message is much too important not to spread, it touches everyone in all walks of life regardless of dynamic. this one just so happens to be D/s related and related to my last post.

This wonderful soul says I inspired her but if you ask me, THIS is the truly inspiring piece! I’m not in the habit of telling people how to do this ‘right’, everyone has their version but this aspect I think should be universal, it should be considered ‘right’.

No partner should be made responsible for the mental health of another, and no one should be taken advantage of due to mental health reasons either. Your partner is there to help and support but they should never be the one in charge of ‘fixing’ it.

Please read, you will not be disappointed! 😀

This is a subject I feel passionately about as it has been a part of my journey. I read a post by nijntje from nijntje & The Bear about mental illness called Give me wings to fly. and it prompted me to write this. I want to also say that I am not a professional […]

via Mental Illness and the Lifestyle — Sir and kittens Pleasure Place

Just a quick explanation …

The couple of comments from the last post made me think to explain this just a bit more here.

I have a need for some play, mostly flogging at this time but it’s not based on a sexual desire, and it’s not because I’m in need of attention from the Bear.

We spend our evenings, most evenings together. I get flowers and chocolates all the time, I get attention, kisses and sweet words … I get couch cuddles every evening and we talk for hours most days.

Outside of work hours, which we have worked to coordinate over the years, we spend pretty much every moment together. It has been 17 years that we both work days, Monday to Friday. No ‘over time’ no trips apart, nothing …

Come 5:30 every day my attention is His, and His attention is mine …. outside of whatever the kids might need, everyone else comes second.

So when I say that I am in need of ‘play’, the normal reason is this:

The endorphins released during play provide both pain relief for the time being and relax the muscles to help release tension and stop the cycle of pain from starting again. At least for a little while.

I know for a lot of people BDSM is sexual, for me it’s either some play, constant pain (not the fun kind) or pain pills.

Since I prefer to not take drugs and the BDSM play helps to relax my mind as well as my body it actually works much better than any pain-killer I have tried, and it has no side effects and plenty of good results.

So sometimes I crave BDSM for sexual release but sometimes it’s for calming the whirlwind in my head and sometimes it’s simply a natural way of relieving my pain.

Today it’s the physical pain ….


No knife play or blood play is one of my hard limits, no question. This very simple quote holds a lot of meaning to me and I think speaks to why experimenting like this would never work for us even though I have been clean for over 25 years now.

The sight of my own blood spilling forth sets me back in control.

The type of ‘control’ I got from it allowed me to shut off and break away from the entire world. ‘The Great Wall of Nijntje’ is what I call it now, I never honestly thought I would get past it, I never really thought I would want to.

I know without a doubt that if I dabbled in blood sports I would very quickly harden my heart again, it’s easy for me and I’m not one to run on emotions as it is.

The only one to have ever crossed the wall is the Bear, the children were born inside so I’m not sure that counts, that part comes with being a mom.

I have a couple of friends and many acquaintances but no one else is inside that wall. I like it that way and I have no intention of changing it. Like I said before it’s part of my personality and I’m comfortable in that, no need to change.

Please do take the time to read the post, it’s very short but to the point. It’s also why I think that if you are or were a cutter, playing with knives is a bad idea. The things it does to your brain are not undone ….

“By now, if I don’t bleed, I don’t feel better. The sight of my own blood spilling forth sets me back in control. I like to think when I cut, “Okay, now all the pain in your head is in your skin.” Once the scratches and cuts stop hurting, I do it again and feel […]


Being Healthy – Body and Mind

Originally posted November 14 2015 but since I’m busy I thought it was worth a re-post! A lovely weekend as always my Wonderful Sir! ❤ 

When we enter into this type of D/s  or BDSM relationship we hear the ideas of Safe, Sane and Consensual at every opportunity but what about mind and body health and wellness? Being safe and sane about our bodies health wise and our minds is every bit as important as the rest.

Taking risks with our bodies to lose weight or fit into the kinky outfit now that we’ve started ‘playing’ is not safe and in some instances not sane either. There are a lot of ideas through pictures and porn that would lead you to believe you need to be a certain size or shape to be found sexy! The reality is the sexiest thing about most people is their demeanor, poise and attitude. Don’t believe me? Try it for yourself …. put something on that you find flattering and strut your stuff with happy confidence. People will notice, people will want to know your secret!

So now that we have that out-of-the-way lets focus on the real important things in life. Being healthy physically is always a good idea regardless of what type of relationship you are in or even if you are not in a relationship at all. This is something you should be doing for yourself always. Keep things simple in regards to diet and don’t limit yourself to such a degree that you will either be miserable or fail and likely end up doing both. Being well-informed about what you are in fact consuming and making better choices in regards to food and portion size will normally do the trick. Add to that some regular daily activity and most people are well on their way to a healthy life style.

Depending on just where you are health wise you may or may not notice a change in your weight. The most important part here is health, not weight so I would suggest not putting an over amount of emphasis on it anyway. I personally don’t own a scale and never have, it would only serve to put focus on the wrong aspect of what I am trying to accomplish.

Some ways I have found for keeping a healthy weight are:

  • eating more slowly – it takes a while for your body to actually register the amount you have consumed and if you eat too quickly you will have more than what you require
  • drink lots of water – it is not unusual for thirst to be mistaken for hunger (I know right? who knew) so having a glass of water before you decide to go for that snack may actually cause you to eat less because you will realize you are not actually hungry after all
  • pay attention – are you actually still hungry or are you just eating because it is there or you are bored
  • the healthiest way to set up your plate is to divide it into four sections.  lay butter knives in a X on the plate if you need to for help. the sections should be: veggie,  veggie,  protein,  starch,  meat portion should be the size of your palm, and veggies half a cup minimum.  (thank you gp)
  • take care of your emotional well-being – stress eating/or not eating is obviously not healthy and is bound to cause issues if you continue down that path
  • add some sort of exercise to your day, it doesn’t need to be the gym or an all out training session to give you results in your overall health and it won’t be long before you have all sorts of new energy 😉
  • if you choose to workout warm up with fifteen minutes of cardio minimum – this will tell your muscles that it’s time to release negative agents contained within them and warm them up to prevent injury – in addition never skip the cool down, letting your muscles cool down helps them relax and notifies the body to begin the healing process.  (thank you gp)

The more comfortable you become with what you are doing the more you can add to your healthy routine. Just like everything else in life it takes patience and time to get it right and see results. And when you look in the mirror try to pretend it’s someone else you are looking at, are you still quite so critical of what you see?

Today’s ‘Shower Talk’ – Habits

Shower talk is what I decided to call things that occur to me when I’m performing other tasks, like taking a shower. Some are my random thoughts and some are not so random. So here goes …

When I wanted to break the smoking habit I looked at triggers that made me want to smoke and stayed away from them. I found other areas to be around instead of areas with smokers and I cut out (or tried to) breaks with smoking friends.

Image result for people smoking

I looked for good habits to replace the bad one and to be sure to fill the extra time! They say you never truly break a habit, you simply replace it with a different one … I think that rings true for most of us.

Anyway, to the point of this post, what I didn’t do was go hang out at the cigar bar with an old smoking buddy and try to fool myself into thinking I would be okay, and that my new-found reason and good habits would be sustained!

Just food for thought …. BTW I have been smoke free 3 1/2 years now! 😀

Love You Sir ❤



Well, there’s this one thing ….

So I have been thinking about this for a little while, thinking about letting you all in on a little secret. I have wondered if perhaps it would help those of you who have been following to get a better picture of what my life really is. There are a couple of you who already know …..

I have, or had, dedicated this site to my dynamic with Sir only. None of the regular goings on of daily life are documented here, or at least they weren’t until I felt like my hand was forced in order to prove that yes I too have lots of other ‘life’ to deal with. The rest of my daily thoughts are posted on a different blog, a blog that has absolutely nothing to do with the dynamic and everything to do with everything else …..

I have thought of merging the two together but not all my followers on the Babadook are going to be interested in my dynamic and frankly I have no intention of pushing my values in this on anyone who is not actively asking. Not everyone who wants to read about Sir and nijntje wants to read about my dogs, or kids, history or garden either … So I will leave it to you!

If you choose to check out nijntje’s Babadook I would suggest starting at the beginning and working your way up. It started as a very frustrated and angry site where I was reliving some of my not so nice childhood memories and dealing with some of the crappy people that have surrounded my life for years. You’ll see very quickly that I just couldn’t maintain that attitude, not even on line …. so I changed it. The posts got to be a little philosophical for a bit and then they just became about whatever happened to be going on at the time.

I do still use the site to vent my frustrations and likely those posts won’t be understood by anyone but Sir, mostly because they do come off as very out of character, or at least I think they do … but it is an outlet for my occasional crazy, so that it doesn’t get to rule me.

Happy Saturday!

Love You Sir ❤