Seems He has a rule ….

A couple of weeks ago Bear decided that He needed to swat my backside, out of the blue i might add, just like that!

I was a bit surprised i admit, it wasn’t His usual playful demeanor. He seemed to actually have an opinion on something that He decided He didn’t like. Humm

Now you see, i don’t often do things that He disapproves of. I have my own set of ‘rules’ let’s say that i follow of my own accord, life rules. To be honest it doesn’t really leave much for Him to have to ‘handle’, if you get my drift. Lately however i have/had become a bit lax on one of my values. Not a lot but occasionally, when someone or something was really irritating i would say a swear word. :O

If you have read much of anything here you probably already know that i don’t use swears/profanity, it’s simply not my style. But like i said, i let one slip out and He did NOT approve!

Now I generally use the term D/s and not M/s but the truth is that He really doesn’t need my approval or input to make a choice/new rule like this. Yes, I do still have the opportunity to state my case and He will listen and take it under advisement but unless it’s something valid than it really doesn’t matter. Not in this type of case anyway!

So it seems i have a new rule …. I have ‘always been a lady and that’s the way He prefers it’, so swearing (unless it’s under the circumstance of begging/pleading for release 😉 THAT circumstance is fine! 😛 ) is no longer tolerated!

That’s fine with me, He’s right, I had gotten away from my core set of values and it’s time to get back to where i belong! Profanity does have a time and place, i know that to be true, but just because i am annoyed or bothered by something is not a good enough reason.  Not for me, and not for Him!

*** Just to be clear, this is not a statement on how anyone else should live their lives, it’s simply a choice that we have made.

Well, that was fun.

Shame it didn’t last long!! 😛

Bear had been told last week Thursday that he was officially off work.

We did a bit of talking Thursday night and some more Friday to be sure we were on the same page with what our ‘dynamic’ hopes and dreams were for this upcoming free time! Yes, we have been doing this a long time now and Yes we do still check in every time something changes in life to make sure that we are both on the same page.

It’s not so much that I am trying to take the lead or influence, it’s more that if we have different unspoken ideas, well, i think we have all been down that road a time or two, haven’t we?? Generally it would lead to frustration, feelings of rejection or unworthiness, anger and worst of all – feeling like we really weren’t cut out for this and would never achieve what we had set out to do!! OYE!

Fortunately, at least for now (LoL) we have learned our lesson and we talk out the details. He still picks what direction we go and how fast or slow we get there BUT I offer input and opinions. It was a large hurdle for me to get past, the idea that I can speak up and if he decides to go with my input, it’s still D/s. He is still in charge and leading and we are still on the right path, for us!

So, that’s what we did …. and we got to enjoy a few days of a much more deliberate and mindful D/s relationship. We even managed to get in some impact play, it does still make me nervous with all the issues that have happened in the past and with my youngest still here but we are being careful! Most everything happened in the morning hours and the rest of the day was calmer and less obvious. It did give me a good idea of what and where he would like things to go when we finally have the room/privacy.

I was a lot more active in my submission and ‘offering’ of myself and ideas and it worked out very well. Another one of my hangups that I have worked to overcome. All I can say is that ‘right or wrong’ we are both much happier and it works out well for us. So I quit overthinking it! 😛 *chuckle*

And then Tuesday night his boss called and wanted to know if he was ready/willing to get back to work! Of course …. I can’t say it wasn’t disappointing but at least he has a job, right? At the moment, I don’t.

So here I am again, so far not much in the way of a ‘crash’ after getting my hopes up, which is good. He has been engaging with me from work, although very little because … well, he’s at work! 😛 LoL I think it has helped to ease things back to a bit ‘less’ more easily.

That’s about all from here! So, how are you guys??

*Laughing* But … seriously though!

I’ve mentioned that the Bear and I are getting back into a more intentional D/s for our daily routine. Part of what happens for me with a more obvious ‘power dynamic’ is a boost in sex drive! All good so far, right?

Well, as with all things in life this too has many variables that affect the way things turn out. One other issue that I have been dealing with for a ~ very ~ long ~ time ~ now is peri-menopause!

Any time now mother nature, we can be just done with all this …. 

So it brings me to the topic of morning sex! Being more deeply invested in our dynamic has me more deeply invested in my dreaming as well! *smirk* The hormones are definitely flowing BUT so too are the menopausal ones! These two things are most certainly linked in many ways but is my higher drive causing more peri-menopausal issues? Or is it just coincidence?

It feels like i’m trying to work out a ‘chicken or egg’ scenario!

All i know is that many mornings i wake from a long roller coaster ride of night sweats! I’ve written about it before, my sheets are literally soaked some days and i’m shifting between drenched in sweat – to freezing cold – to back to drenched!

I also wake with some naughty, naughty rabbit thoughts on my mind and my little paws can’t help but wander over to His side of the bed ….. *wink* In our dynamic that is completely permitted and i’m not sure if He enjoys the me chasing after Him or having the power to say ‘No‘ …… more!

Anyhow, it’s all fun and games and a complete D/s turn on UNTIL …….. i catch a whiff of myself! UGH

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Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

If it’s not one thing ….. it’s another! 😛

 

 

Just a thought ….

Boy, I haven’t done one of these in a very long while! *chuckle*

I think it has more to do with ‘trusting, telling and asking’ than it has to do with ‘waiting … and for Him to swoop down and all knowingly ‘fix it’ … ‘

Submission isn’t about waiting for Him to figure it all out, it’s about exploring the truth, knowing yourself and being honest about your needs. Then …. laying it all out on the line and trusting that He will take that knowledge and then take care of you/things properly.

Don’t you think?? Just a thought …..

‘Active submission’ – my answer was yes, but not like you would think, probably ….

I tend to be very pragmatic, it gets me into ‘trouble’ at times, not that I care much! *chuckle*

The idea that anyone is or always has been ‘one way’ and can’t be changed is silly. It always has been to me.

Life is a training exercise and we have all been trained to be the way we are by one method or another. With the right tools/skills anyone can train anyone to be whatever it is they choose.

This may fly in the face of all the ‘true’ or ‘real’ advocates but so be it. And it doesn’t matter much what side of the ‘slash’ you fall on.

‘Can a master be trained by a submissive?’

The most accepted term for it in the ‘community’ that I have heard is active submission:

Is it just me?

I’m feeling just awful these last couple of days, today even worse. Fever, chills, aches and now my stomach is turning- oh yay!

I did spend the hours sleeping last night having some pretty steamy sex dreams though!!

Every time i’m really sick all i want is to be sexed-up roughly (that’s relative to how sick i am of course), well ‘used’ and then set to bed. Then, i can finally settle and rest.

Is that just my weird when sick kink??

A quick update

We’ve started using the cane again. It’s not my favourite implement for warm ups and such but it is quiet and with some patience and practice it can be used for warm up as well.

Bear normally wants to ‘skip ahead’! *smirk* His sadistic side can at times be impatient! *ouch*

I’ve realized though just how fast i fall back into rhythm with Him and into a subspace trance. For someone who’s always ‘on alert’, i’m not entirely sure how i feel about that.

Good i suppose, it only goes to show the trust we have between us, …… right??

My body is out of practice though, the fall into subspace also brings with it the ‘coming down’ of chemicals and physical reactions that make me out for the count, for a while. That keeps me/us from playing to much or too long. There isn’t any real opportunity to be ‘down’ for very long.

I’ve found a little cabin that i’d like to rent, for a few days. It’s close enough to home that we could still be back and forth for the boy, but take a few hours away for us! *wink* I have heels and collar and leash all playing around in my head. It’s distracting but enticing.

Who knows, maybe if things work out we can have the better part of a few days to play out an in-depth M/s dynamic.

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I’m not holding my breath, but it is nice to daydream!

I’m hoping to get to reading and writing but life has just been too busy and hectic. I do miss catching up on what you are all up to!!

Hope you’re well – gotta bounce! *wink*

Some personal truths

BDSM and impact play keep me ‘sexy’, sexy keeps me interested in intimacy.

I read somewhere that the true (yes, take that with a grain of salt) definition of a masochist is someone who gets no sexual satisfaction without pain.

For some time now I’ve had no interest in sex and it’s mainly to do with the fact that we have NO opportunity for BDSM and impact play.

Maybe that’s a bit of a misstatement, I am interested in sex I’m just not in the slightest turned on.

Once in a very long while when He gets a chance and I get the slightest bit of pain, like a quick swat on the butt, there is a charge of energy that flows …. and all of a sudden these little bunny ears perk up. I know it’s pretty much the same for Him.

Once in a while when He has the energy and thought to add a bit of naughty dominance to my day, same thing, the bunny ears start paying attention at least for a moment.

Without the impact play, bondage or kink, i’m simply not interested in sex.

Yes sure He is still the Dom and i’m still His submissive, sure if He wanted something from me He could have it but that’s not really the way it’s suppose to feel, is it? So he hasn’t ‘asked’ for anything because He’s just as off as i am.

I know that your sexual impulses ebb and flow just like everything else in life but i can’t help but think that i’m much more likely to be ‘flowing’ LoL if we had the opportunity to play.

My sexual impulses are linked to my masochism and His are linked to His sadism.

Fine kettle of fish we’ve gotten ourselves into ….

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