Of lessons learned.

Since I’m sitting here on my own again, sleeping ‘alone’ again and waiting til the next doctor comes calling or the next time W needs something, I find my mind wandering.

Despite all the twists and turns of our current journey we have still tried to keep up with some of the comforting things we use in our kinky lives. My health issues will often complicate that too … oh joy! Regardless, we often try to revisit things of the past and try to implement them once more, sometimes tweaked and sometimes just try again.

A collar at bed time is one of those things. Bear has a leather collar he likes to use for bedtime and my bunny chain 24/7. My condition will often make it so that I can not regulate my body temperature and I find that even something as small as a collar will cause me to overheat. Last summer it had to come off because I was spending too many hours as a furnace and not sleeping. To be honest I overheat so much that even Bear was being kept awake! Humm,maybe that was 2 summers ago! Yikes!

Anyway, recently after having returned home from the hospital stay Bear decided to start using the collar again, for as long as we could this time. It’s not yet summer weather here so it was a good time to try. That and our minds could really use something calming to focus on at bed time.

We used it for a short while with no real issues but one night I seemed to be having a hard time breathing. Something was making me cough and it felt like my breathing was being restricted. Guess what? It was!

Bear decided that it was time to remove the collar and figure out the details in the morning after a good night sleep, his hope was that it was the collar and not some other issue causing me to choke and gasp for air. I didn’t like it but in the middle of the night, in the dark as he tried to remove the collar it seemed to somehow be stuck. I mentioned I could try since I could feel the where and what and be sure not to make it worse. He agreed and I soon figured out that the rabbit choker had somehow wrapped up and around the leather buckle and end flap … it was twisting in such a way that it was literally strangling me!

Now that was a first!! We’ve had an issue in the past with just a linked chain and that quickly became a no-no for bed or any other unsupervised wear but never with this! Anyway, it was removed and the next day bedtime came and went without much fuss. The rabbit is always on, that is the main ‘collar’ of choice for Bear, that and my cuffs that never leave my body.

I was a bit confused and a bit unsettled I guess you could say, that he hadn’t chosen to try again or try something else. We do have a few options for collars that we have played with along the years. I had hoped he would pick one, but he hadn’t.

The next night came and it was the same scenario. And the next … I half thought about saying something, questioning him BUT I didn’t. Not because he doesn’t like it, he’s never once not answered all my questions and concerns, but because something in me told me I didn’t need to. I shouldn’t really because I figured he would do whatever he felt was best and tell me in his own time.

A few days later when once again getting ready for bed, he undressed me as he always does but before tucking me into bed he brought out a brand new collar he had found. It is black and rounded. A very small profile compared to the others with no hooks or D rings to snag a sleeping rabbit! *smiles*

I am rather proud of myself for not pressing and pushing before he was ready to handle the situation. With all the other stressors in our lives right now it would have been easy to fall into that mindset of pushing and pressing the issues that I want dealt with instead of letting him lead the way.

I’m much happier in this case than I would have been if I pressed him on it anyway. Now, if I can just get back home to wait for him to place it on me again …. *smiles*

6 thoughts on “Of lessons learned.

    1. It’s easy and comforting to fall back onto what we know works well and is easy to accomplish. Makes the rest manageable! It makes for a comforting memory to hold onto in these quiet moments too! *smiles* hello friend ❤

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  1. Dear N,
    You and your family are in my prayers and thoughts. I’m no stranger to chronic illness and hospitals and I understand the tedious hours and days of worry and boredom.
    I’m glad you have small reminders of your dynamic to strengthen you now. It’s these things – like collars and unquestioning agreement and submission – that keep us grounded. I wish there was something aside from commenting, I could do to help you or W.
    Wishing you strength and happier times ahead.
    ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Reconnecting with old friends has been a happy moment in my days of late, I appreciate the thoughts and the effort put into reaching out my friend! That’s enough … ❤

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