kink vs. submission

Submission is more than just being given orders or getting spanked, submission is a personal set of values I believe. Submission is not to be taken, or ordered or managed by another – it is our own.

Is this perhaps the dividing line between submissive and slave? Besides the kink and intensity etc. …. is this the line?


*** by ‘our own’ I mean something that we crave to do not something that we falter at and need corrections or discipline to accomplish. It is not a struggle to follow through, it’s more of a craving to do so.

My question is implying that a slave is more than kink, and in turn more submissive than a sub. Does this make sense at all?

9 thoughts on “kink vs. submission

  1. Personally, I feel slavery is a deeper form of submission in that it requires giving up more. More freedoms, more choices, etc. When I am in more of a slave mindset, I crave more direct control, more micromanaging. When I am my usual submissive self, I submit but I retain more autonomy.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So, would you say that following through with things that have been agreed upon in a dynamic is less difficult, as internal dialogue, as a slave and more of a craving to do so? A slave being less rebellious, less likely to ignore or disobey the set parameters of the relationship?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hm. I think a slave is generally either in a dynamic that is strict and only allows these sorts of conversations at specific times or by specific request (sort of like breaking out of the roles to discuss issues) rather than bringing things up/asking questions in the moment, or are more wired for unquestioning obedience. Perhaps they are more suited to it through conditioning and the gradual buildup of trust.
        Granted, this is just based on my perception, and I rarely identify as a slave, so I can easily be wrong. I’m aware of some dynamics where the right-slasher speaks freely and is a slave and ones where the right-slasher has strict obedience and identifies as a sub. *shrug*

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    2. I totally agree with this definition for slavery. Less braty, deeper submission, less rebellious. It could be internal or external, depending on your dynamic and who you both are.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hi Minnie, I guess you’ve hit on the real question in my mind. Does a slave require as much external ‘force’ let’s say …? or is it more internal?

        Anyway, nice to see you about these parts!! lol It has been a while, hope all is well and life progressing the way you had hoped! 🙂


  2. Yes it does make sense…but I don’t think I know for sure yet. I have been thinking a lot about this lately…how much of my feeling of submission, how much of my desire to call Mistress by that title or any other, are born from me and my own psyche and how much hers? Is the respect for her and awesome power she wields in me or in her?

    I guess it has to be both. The implication of your opening statement is that it is the sub who sets the rules. And I know certainly many people share that view. I try to not be there. Instead I spent my time and energy on finding someone who I trust, and am trying to just be what she asks of me…

    I am too new to this to know what it all means for sure, but the word slave resonates with me more. I don’t resist her…and sometimes, when she pushes me and I might not like something, letting go of it is more a slave thing than a submissive one. I would be unable to explore either being submissive or a slave with just anyone…and I think slave means more trust…but I also agree with the comment above that some slaves are not “controlled” to the same extent, whereas others are micro-managed. I prefer to be allowed to think for myself, to show my service and devotion in my creative and entrepreneurial way, but I also want Her to know of my total obedience.

    And she asserts herself when it pleases her. Slave also feels to me more permanent. And I don’t think you can get there overnight…being slave takes time. Perhaps a lifetime.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, gb69! Thanks for joining the conversation. 🙂

      I wasn’t meaning to imply that the sub/slave sets the rules, I meant that it is not something that can be forced. You don’t ‘make’ someone submissive, they choose to be and then the rest gets worked out between the parties involved of course. Some are more intense and some less in dynamic rules and rituals etc. BUT they are not forced, not spanked into submission.

      I’ve been reading around the web again in general (and I do tread gingerly because I hate having to use generalities) I seem to find that those under the submissive umbrella will sometimes lament they are not being dominated enough and that is why their submission is waning or not at the level they would like.

      Those under the title of slave don’t seem to look at it in the same manner, I will often see the idea that they need to focus themselves better and serve better in order to get back on track with their own slave mindset.

      One appears to look outside themselves for the inspiration while the other looks inside themselves. This is what I mean by our own and not something to be taken per say.

      Liked by 1 person

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