Lately I’ve been the furthest thing from ‘kinky’. My want or need to ‘play’ has all but disappeared and I’m not really sure why.
Bear has been craving a bit more I think but he hasn’t asked and so I haven’t bothered. He has used just a few rituals, asked for some minor things – like sitting at his feet on the weekends for our morning coffee. That’s about it though.
Sometimes it occurs to me that we haven’t done anything ‘D/s’ in some time, weeks maybe … and that I should be hot and horny by now, but I’m not! A flicker of interest from time to time, but nothing more, it doesn’t seem to go past an intelectual thought – not an emotional need. At least not right now.
My body has been sore and exhausted lately, it seems to happen this way in the spring time. Allergies and hEDS combine to make my life VERY COMPLICATED! Thankfully life in general seems calm these days, the boys are finally well on track and Bear and I are as usual, fine.
Nothing to worry about, no complaints.
Well, almost no complaints! The lack of privacy and alone time makes spankings and other impact play a distant memory. As much as we try to tap into other methods of keeping the energy alive the truth is that I am a masochist and He a sadist.
When the BDSM is taken away it is very hard for us to keep the same levels of kinky energy and horny want – alive!!
Our dominant and submissive energies are very much linked to kink. Domestic duties and acts of service are simply just too ‘normal’ here, those things were part of us before we ventured into the world of dominance and submission and as much as they are/or can be part of power exchange relationships, for us they were just life.
When I was writing more it was a bit easier, when I was chatting with others in the lifestyle it was easier. When I was reading and researching kink it was easier. I do wish sometimes that we had a circle or like minded friends, but we don’t and so the lack of kink has created a lack of interest on my part. Add that too low energy and body pain and I’m afraid I’m really not responding the way I know he would appreciate.
Although I’ve been his since the beginning (like in a D/s sense) my personal energy source for submission has always been BDSM and an active sex life.
What about you? What’s your dominant or submissive source of energy?