I thought since I’m touching on things that work (this will be funny in a minute!), I’d also touch on things I’ve tried that don’t work for me.
Edging! Masturbation (yes, clutch your pearls, I said the M word LoL) those things do not work for me. They don’t work to turn me on, much … and they don’t work to promote any sort of submissive feelings.
I know this is a common, often relied on method of maintaining some sexual energy and feeding the flow of D/s energy as well but for me it does not work.
It doesn’t bother me that it doesn’t but what I do find annoying is the ‘experts’ out there that tell people like me that we are simply not doing it right! That we need to try more, or try harder or the best one – we just need to TRAIN ourselves better! LMAO
Look, to those of you that this works for, hooray! I’m glad for you, and if you’re a dom/me and it helps your dynamic, hooray again! But for the few of us who just don’t seem to respond the same way – there is NOTHING wrong with you/us. We are not doing it wrong, we do not need to try harder, or other methodology etc
You know your body better than anyone and you know how you feel, no one else can tell you that either. Give it a try, experiment if you want to, mix things up with different toys – or don’t. It’s entirely up to you. If you are one of the many that it does work for, great!
If it doesn’t work for you however, move on. Don’t beat yourself up over it and DON’T let anyone tell you there is something wrong with you or that you are not trying hard enough, or worse – you are not submissive because you don’t respond like they want you to. If they can’t keep trying to find the right fit with you they are not worth your time or energy.
As for me, I like to revisit the idea from time to time. So far the result is always the same …. I’ve managed to go for a few days before, before it became a negative instead of a positive. *shrug* With so many other possibilities and adventures to be had in D/s and BDSM, why focus on just one thing that doesn’t mesh!?
Hope you’re having a great Wednesday, and staying safe! ❤