Maintaining that D/s connection in the every day. Pt. 1

I haven’t written anything in a while and I fear I may be a bit out of practice! I guess you poor souls are about to find out with me! *chuckle*

In the last post I received a couple of comments that were pretty similar. The basic idea was, I think, how have we managed our dynamic this past year with all the ups and downs of a pandemic! How do we keep things engaged in the every day.

In the beginning I think I had an idea that once D/s always D/s but that meant that there was a certain ‘energy’ that I was looking to have ALL THE TIME. The truth is that having a full time, live in relationship AND practicing this dynamic is not really what I had envisioned during the frenzied beginning of exploration. 

To start – I don’t feel ‘submissive’ all the time. If you have been with me for a while you already know that my overall personality tends to be much more in the dominant category. I have tried on and been called many labels over the last few years from ‘Warrior Princess’ to ‘Alfa Submissive’ etc. etc.

Those all have some truth to them but they also don’t really fit. LoL I’ve never been one for labels but I do know that they provide a good starting point for conversation and understanding. As an old friend used to say, the devil is in the details after all! The point is, no I don’t feel that submissive vibe all the time and that’s okay! I don’t need to.

What I have learned is to tap into my own wants and needs and to relay them to my dominant, The Bear! I’ve learned to recognize and honour the feelings I experience and put those into the wants or needs categories, then act on those thoughts and feelings by bringing them to my dominant. 

Submission (and His understanding and support) has taught me to be okay with having needs and being okay with asking to have them met! Go, figure …. you can actually do that in a healthy relationship and it won’t be seen as a weakness!

Life long ago taught me that it takes more strength to ask for help and depend on someone else and submission taught me how to act on that.  


I think my thoughts went a bit off the rails here! LoL But, not a bad first day back?!? 

I’ll be back to the original idea/question – I promise. First let’s see how this one is received *wink*

Happy Thursday! ❤ 

2 thoughts on “Maintaining that D/s connection in the every day. Pt. 1

  1. Of all the strong submissive titles, Warrior Princess is now my favourite.

    I have a sub friend who calls me her top. I’m not, far from it! When I challenged her on it she decided that I must be an alpha sub. This sits easier than Top, but… urgh, labels! I’m HIS submissive, to the rest of the world I am just me.

    Oops, I went off topic a bit there. I’m looking forward to more on this topic N x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LoL BFS, I seem to always be climbing on this branch or that these days, no worries!

      The more I learned about what all the labels mean to lifestylers the more I knew they weren’t me. Take alfa sub for example, I hear it used all the time but unless you are in a harem of sorts it doesn’t apply. It’s kind of like head/first wife or group leader etc. We are monogamous so it’s obviously wrong! LoL 😛 I too like the warrior princess but it’s associated with some questionable ideals as well as the good. *shrug*

      Personally my favourite analogy is that of the dragon and rider … that one fits very well. 🙂 I have never seen it used in D/s outside of my site so it makes it original to me with no preconceptions to ward off. *wink* (Don’t know if it’s out there some where, I just have never seen it!)

      Anyway, hope to be back to writing more soon!! Nice to see you again, take care in these challenging times. 🙂


Comments welcome! :D

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.