What is a ‘scene’?

** to us of course, everyone has their own needs and wants.

After the beginning of an interesting conversation, this topic just hasn’t left my mind. The only way to clear it for me is, you guessed it, write it out!

The Bear and i don’t do role playing, it just doesn’t work for us. When we are engaged in BDSM we need it all to be real, to be authentic in order for it to be comfortable for us. Some like to play around with different situations and scenarios and that’s a personal choice, but just not ours.

Sometimes we play around to fulfill His needs, i enjoy that because it gives me a real sense of submission and a sense of serving Him. Just as spanking and impact play frees me from the stress of the every day, impact play frees His stress too. It’s always consensual and yes, there have been times when i have told Him that i just wasn’t ready or ‘up to it’. The choice of how to proceed was His of course but never has He insisted when my mind or body wasn’t up to it. That’s what makes Him a dominant, not the idea of making someone do something they clearly don’t want, but anyway ….

Sometimes we play to fulfill my needs. Just as spanking by hand or by paddle etc. builds endorphins and helps to free stressful energy, so too does a flogger on my back or legs, a cane on the more private and intimate places etc. The build up of energy is the same, the sensations of relaxation or pain/pleasure mix are the same just in a different spot. I find it all encompassing and it relaxes my entire body, not just my backside! *giggle*

When we have the opportunity to play ‘well’ i’m usually left floaty (subspace) and not really able to function on my own. Aftercare is where He now takes me to bed, or a warm safe space where i can rest, have water and warm up. A ‘good’ scene will bring the chemicals in my body to a certain state where i need to physically ‘come down’ from. This normally involves thirst, cooling of my body giving me the chills, and more often then not the re-balancing of chemicals will give me the shakes.

Sometimes sex is involved but most often it’s something that happens after IF i’m able and ready. My state takes priority over anything He may want at this stage and if sex needs to wait then He will make that call. Normally after a short rest i’m more than ready but you just never know!

Everything we do is because we enjoy it, it’s for a reason and serves a purpose. We don’t pretend that i’ve been captured or that i’m a naughty school girl. That is just not part of our kink. Just as spanking serves a purpose for some, the play we engage in provides a respite and a refresh before having to take on the world once more.

BDSM is my spa day! 😉 Anyone else …. ??

Today’s mood :)

I do crinkle my nose, He does tuck me in …. and the little rabbit is always around these days. 🙂
Enjoy …
Will you count me in?
I’ve been awake for a while now
You’ve got me feelin’ like a child now
‘Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tingles in a silly place
It starts in my toes, and I crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes I always know
That you make me smile, please, stay for a while now
Just take your time wherever you go
The rain is fallin’ on my window pane
But we are hidin’ in a safer place
Under covers stayin’ dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore
It starts in my toes, make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I always know
That you make me smile, please, stay for a while now
Just take your time wherever you go
But what am I gonna say?
When you make me feel this way
I just, mmm
And it starts in my toes, makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I always know
That you make me smile, please, stay for a while now
Just take your time wherever you go
I’ve been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
‘Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I’m comfortable enough to feel your warmth
It starts in my soul, and I lose all control
When you kiss my nose, the feelin’ shows
‘Cause you make me smile, baby, just take your time now
Holdin’ me tight
Wherever, wherever, wherever you go
Wherever, wherever, wherever you go
Wherever you go I always know
‘Cause you make me smile, even just for a while
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Colbie Caillat / Jason Reeves
Bubbly lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

The most romantic things …..

Bear has a way with words! To say ‘interesting’ would be an understatement, to me at least.

Sometimes He says the most romantic things ….. in the most unusual ways!! *raspberries*

 

‘You look hot in that! Then, you rock everything you wear so … ‘

LoL ‘why thank you, but you’re just biased. Not that i mind, but you are!’

‘Yes, just as I should be. You would still turn my head, even if I wasn’t here .’ He says motioning to the house, to indicate in a relationship with me.

A quarter decade in and i can still turn His head, life is good!

Happy Tuesday ❤ *chuckle*

Of multitasking, stress and spankings …

If you are like most women i know, you multitask. You do it at work, you do it at home, you do it with your friends. It has been researched and documented from time to time, that’s the way our minds work.

I’m not saying that men don’t have stress, that would be ridiculous, but i don’t think you need to look very far to see that generally it’s the females in your circles that take on more of the ‘things that need doing’ stress in the day to day. None of it is ‘more’ or ‘less’ either, so don’t send me comments that everyone has stress and no one more than the other, i know.

Being more likely to do more than one thing at a time means that we stress about multiple issues at once as well, we just do it differently. In your basic relationship it’s generally the female that is stressed out and possibly agitated, is it not?

This probably explains why more often than not when you hear of a ‘spanking’ relationship it’s the female getting spanked and the male doing the spanking. This is all based on a traditional relationship, i’m well aware that there are many different types of relationships but i am only musing on one, like mine, specifically. 

In a previous post i explained how a spanking/punishment scenario could be used but now i’d like to muse on spanking for stress release. It was something the previous post touched on so here goes!

One possible reason for incorporating spankings into your life/dynamic and one reason we tend to do better after ‘maintenance or punishments’ or whatever you want to frame it as, is because it works with the chemicals in your body.

A spanking done properly (this depends on the person, no two are exactly alike so you need to experiment and find your ‘sweet spot’ but there is a lot of good info out there to get you started) will help to relax your body, release negative energy, calm your muscles and your mind.

If you find a rhythm and intensity that works for you the pain very quickly turns into something else. Your body starts to release endorphins that really do make you ‘feel good’ and not in pain or uncomfortable like you might think. Increasing the intensity will increase the effect but again, this is a very personal reaction that requires a very personal approach. It may not be exactly the same each time either, as a female i find that the time of month makes a big difference and as someone with chronic illness the intensity might be a toss up from day to day!

The point is that spankings done in this context are not painful, not really. They are relaxing and in fact very enjoyable, especially the side effects. If you are one of the lucky ones, a good spanking alone can lead to a very intense orgasm! *wink* Personally i have found these to be some of the most intense ones i have experienced and no other stimulation was needed.

I understand that it may seem odd to those who have never tried it, but the fact is that there are many reasons why we enjoy this type of play. This physical reaction is just one very basic reason why it works. Doing it on a schedule/’maintenance’, helps to keep those good things working and it’s why we seem to ‘spiral’ when we don’t get it.

At least this has been my experience, and so too of the few ladies i have had the pleasure of getting to know.

What about you, if you have a similar relationship, do you find these things hold true for you as well?

 

What makes it D/s, instead of ‘vanilla’?

** This is my opinion of course, my view on what the difference is. **

To me, the thing that makes it D/s and not ‘vanilla’ is that there are no games! Or at least, there are no games that have not been agreed on and consented to.

I believe that D/s is much less about kink and more about the honesty and openness that the partners share.

You can be kinky and not be D/s ……

Happy Friday ❤