What kind of submissive are you?

I’m thinking back over things i have read and people i have known, conversations … One thing that became very clear with time was that there are many different kinds of submissives. None better or more committed, simply different.

I’m not even going to attempt to cover them all, or all the nuances, that would simply be too much to cover in one post. I have been thinking of just a few ideas that are on very different ends of the submissive spectrum.

Keep in mind that this train of thought/post is all very general in nature … so here we go!time

Some time ago i read a post by a friend that covered the idea that her submission was very much linked to her sexuality/sex.  I don’t think that’s a very odd idea at all, i think it may be more common place than she might have thought.

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I think one ‘type’ would be a sex/BDSM submissive, like what she was talking about. This is where i fit and i’ll be back to this at the end.

Next i guess i would consider the ‘spanko‘. To me this is where spankings for poor behaviour and maintenance are used as a method to tap into the submissive feelings and to help stay there. It may or may not include other forms of kink but the thing keeping the dynamic flowing is primarily spanking. DD would fall very nicely into this category i would think. (Yes there is much more to be said, like i mentioned – very general.)

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For me, spankings alone don’t do it, even when we did have the opportunity to do so. They help certainly but it’s just not the same. It begins to feel more like a game or a chore than submissive. I don’t get in trouble, i’m too much of a ‘dominant type’ in life to allow it of myself, doesn’t leave much for Him to correct! 😛 

The last i’m going to muse about would be the service submissive. This could be anything from domestic duties to sexual service and all things in between. What or how the submissive serves is much less important than the fact that they are serving and getting noticed or even rewarded for it. Being of service and doing a good job of it is the main objective, to please and be pleasing.

Again, it doesn’t do it for me. I am constantly of service but it comes more from my dominant side than it does from anything submissive feeling. I serve and continue to serve because it’s my duty, because i excepted responsibility for things/kids/husband/house/job etc. etc. and to not live up to my commitments is simply not in my wheelhouse.

I always go above and beyond and watch over everyone in my world, not to do so would make me absolutely bonkers!! If anything, being His submissive makes me take on less, not more. I don’t do it to be noticed or pleasing, i do it because i know no other way …. i could go on but i did say ‘general’. LoL  

I would consider myself a sexual/BDSM submissive. The thing that keeps me tapped into that warm subby glow, that calm relaxed vibe, the ‘yum’ of being His is sex and BDSM. Without those two things on a fairly regular bases i really do lose that submissive feeling. (For the record, i don’t think kinky sex and BDSM are the same and they do not need to happen together.)

 

Now i still do what i need to do, take care of all the regular tasks/chores, mind my manners and act respectfully BUT i do that anyway!

What i don’t do is rely on Him for much, i tap back into my own natural flow, especially when things get hectic and busy, and i rely on myself to get things done and organized. I take on the responsibilities, the planning, the weight and the stress …. i do it alone and i carry on. If you are like me, a sex/BDSM submissive, do you find this to be true as well??

Personality aside (brat/little/pet) what kind of submissive are you???

5 thoughts on “What kind of submissive are you?

  1. I would say I am a blend. Regular spankings as a maintenance (and not punishment, which are of a different intensity) certainly keep me in a more submissive mindset. I also enjoy serving HD through domestic chores, when my body allows me to do so without too much drain. Being submissive to him (and being actively Dominated by him) is arousing to me, so there is quite a bit of bedroom sub in me as well.

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    1. I can relate to that. When i’ve tapped into the submissive vibe i can easily find that energy in all three of those areas. When i get out of the groove however, the other two alone just don’t have the same feel. I think that’s what the writer was getting at, it kind of starts with the rougher BDSM and sex to get everything else in check.
      Thanks, HH! Hope you’re doing well today. 🙂

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  2. Well, right now, I’m a grumpy submissive. I just wanted to make that clear. Laughing. Now, I will go back and read what you wrote and then I’ll be back……… It’s always interesting to read different perspectives on definitions/descriptions of submission. For me, spanking is sexy and kinky, but only if it is real and is not any form of play. I don’t like play. I didn’t like it when we were vanilla and I don’t like it now that we’re more French Vanilla. (If I’m comparing ice cream to the dominance/submission, etc. spectrum, there is Vanilla, French Vanilla, and then Rocky Road is “rougher.” Laughing. That’s just my way of categorizing things in my head even if I am wrong.) I know I am not a service sub, but I do like to make a nice dinner for my husband because it makes me feel feminine and domestic for some reason. The rest of housework, I hate. Sub in the bedroom for sure. My personality is more aggressive than Storm’s …….. and that is challenging for both of us. I just want him to lead and make decisions, not without considering me, but more authoritatively. I’m trying to step back and he is trying to step forward. Thought provoking post, N ! Hugs, Windy

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, right now, I’m a grumpy submissive. I just wanted to make that clear. Laughing. Now, I will go back and read what you wrote and then I’ll be back……… It’s always interesting to read different perspectives on definitions/descriptions of submission. For me, spanking is sexy and kinky, but only if it is real and is not any form of play. I don’t like play. I didn’t like it when we were vanilla and I don’t like it now that we’re more French Vanilla. (If I’m comparing ice cream to the dominance/submission, etc. spectrum, there is Vanilla, French Vanilla, and then Rocky Road is “rougher.” Laughing. That’s just my way of categorizing things in my head even if I am wrong.) I know I am not a service sub, but I do like to make a nice dinner for my husband because it makes me feel feminine and domestic for some reason. The rest of housework, I hate. Sub in the bedroom for sure. My personality is more aggressive than Storm’s …….. and that is challenging for both of us. I just want him to lead and make decisions, not without considering me, but more authoritatively. I’m trying to step back and he is trying to step forward. Thought provoking post, N ! Hugs, Windy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LoL Thanks, Windy!! I’m a bit of a grumpy sub atm too. 😛 LoL
      I can relate to spanking being sexy and kinky, it is a turn on for me too, when done in the right frame of mind, if that makes sense. I don’t like anything pretend either, as we have talked before.
      I know all about having a strong personality, Bear has always said that since the day we met ‘my attitude walks in the room before i do’! *chuckle* It’s definitely a challenge when trying to incorporate a PE relationship where i’m on the submissive side!

      Like

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