Hurts so good?!?!

That’s not actually the case, not right now anyway!

I’ve been hurtin’ a lot lately but none of it consensual and none of it good. There are new followers again and i thought i’d leave you that bread crumb should you choose to know more.

My brain and body are on overdrive and i could use a little hurtin’, but the one of my choosing, not this one! *chuckle*

Kink has definitely been on the back burner lately, both due to this and due to lack of energy. I haven’t started anything and neither has He.

The privacy issue is still a problem and with the current state of things with the youngest, we seem to be going backwards instead of forward and onward ….

I’m still in good spirits and i’ve always got a smile on but i’d be lying if i said it wasn’t frustrating and well, exhausting! Mentally and physically.

**** See, this is what BDSM helps with for me. Getting started these days physically is more of a challenge but once things start flowing everything changes, becomes easier. My body temperature regulates, my (non consensual) pain lessens and the longer the session the better i feel overall.

It relaxes both my body/muscles and my mind, it alleviates some of the exhaustion of the everyday and seems to rejuvenate, both mentally and physically.

I call it ‘play’ because well, unlike some of the other possibilities for impact, like punishment or maintenance etc., this is for fun. It provides a service and is for a reason, as i just explained, but it’s not ‘to keep me in line’ or behaving or whatever the reason you might choose. It’s just to keep me relaxed and happy.

Like you would ‘play’ soccer or volleyball to keep you mentally and physically healthy, i ‘play’ out a scene for the same reasons. It has rules and parameters, checks and balances to make sure both sides are getting what they need, it’s hopefully enjoyable to all players and keeps you coming back for more.

It’s addictive in the same way that playing sports, running, or going to the gym can be and you don’t feel ‘right’ when you have had to miss out.

***** now i’m going to be rambling *****

I haven’t the opportunity for an all out scene these days because we don’t frequent dungeons and we have no privacy at home. I am a masochist though and if my body wasn’t so ‘beat up’ i would probably take up kick boxing while i waited for BDSM to once again be on the horizon. As it stands, i work out whenever i can manage.

The kneeling and waiting and focus you get from a higher protocol relationship can be somewhat duplicated through yoga or meditation. Honestly/realistically the energy source in all of these is you (the submissive) and so is the choice to tap into it or not. It is all about relaxing the mind, being in the moment and tapping into the energy …. i enjoy these activities when i can as well.

Bondage, well this one is a favourite of mine and doesn’t make much noise. My wrists are not ‘happy’ right now but looser bondage gives the impression without the unwanted pain. My ankles are okay atm, so use them, and a nice thick collar and leash always fit the bill ….. there are many ways to do bondage and accommodate injury or disability, you simply need to look and learn. This one is on you, Bear.

*****

When i get down on kinky energy, Bear gets down on kinky energy. I wish I could say He starts things on His own but He doesn’t. It would be nice if He took initiative that way, but He doesn’t, it’s just not His way.

He ‘doms’ by taking care of me, watching what i need (besides kink) and taking care of that without needing to be asked or told.

When it comes to kink, He’s like a kid in a candy store when i invite Him in and say ‘wanna play’? But if i don’t He just keeps His eyes on the everyday and carries on.

I know He wouldn’t be happy to let it all go, His ‘happy’ is not there when we can’t play. Just because He never seems to want to start things doesn’t mean He’s not a dom/sadist, He’s just a lazy one??? (sorry Bear, don’t know a better way to say it) when it comes to play time. He also seems to focus more on the road blocks than i do, i’m more inventive you could say! *raspberries*

This is a type of D/s by the way, can’t remember the exact ‘label’ (imagine that, me ignoring labels! LoL ) but it is a relationship type that falls under the D/s M/s umbrella. Perhaps not what some of us envisioned but submission is to be done according the the dom’s wants, right?

Anyhow, i’ll leave you with this, today’s theme … for me anyway!

2 thoughts on “Hurts so good?!?!

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