What is a ‘scene’?

** to us of course, everyone has their own needs and wants.

After the beginning of an interesting conversation, this topic just hasn’t left my mind. The only way to clear it for me is, you guessed it, write it out!

The Bear and i don’t do role playing, it just doesn’t work for us. When we are engaged in BDSM we need it all to be real, to be authentic in order for it to be comfortable for us. Some like to play around with different situations and scenarios and that’s a personal choice, but just not ours.

Sometimes we play around to fulfill His needs, i enjoy that because it gives me a real sense of submission and a sense of serving Him. Just as spanking and impact play frees me from the stress of the every day, impact play frees His stress too. It’s always consensual and yes, there have been times when i have told Him that i just wasn’t ready or ‘up to it’. The choice of how to proceed was His of course but never has He insisted when my mind or body wasn’t up to it. That’s what makes Him a dominant, not the idea of making someone do something they clearly don’t want, but anyway ….

Sometimes we play to fulfill my needs. Just as spanking by hand or by paddle etc. builds endorphins and helps to free stressful energy, so too does a flogger on my back or legs, a cane on the more private and intimate places etc. The build up of energy is the same, the sensations of relaxation or pain/pleasure mix are the same just in a different spot. I find it all encompassing and it relaxes my entire body, not just my backside! *giggle*

When we have the opportunity to play ‘well’ i’m usually left floaty (subspace) and not really able to function on my own. Aftercare is where He now takes me to bed, or a warm safe space where i can rest, have water and warm up. A ‘good’ scene will bring the chemicals in my body to a certain state where i need to physically ‘come down’ from. This normally involves thirst, cooling of my body giving me the chills, and more often then not the re-balancing of chemicals will give me the shakes.

Sometimes sex is involved but most often it’s something that happens after IF i’m able and ready. My state takes priority over anything He may want at this stage and if sex needs to wait then He will make that call. Normally after a short rest i’m more than ready but you just never know!

Everything we do is because we enjoy it, it’s for a reason and serves a purpose. We don’t pretend that i’ve been captured or that i’m a naughty school girl. That is just not part of our kink. Just as spanking serves a purpose for some, the play we engage in provides a respite and a refresh before having to take on the world once more.

BDSM is my spa day! πŸ˜‰ Anyone else …. ??

6 thoughts on “What is a ‘scene’?

  1. N,
    I’m sorry that I was most likely only the beginning of that conversation, but I had company this week and……. stress city here, even though we love this particular set of company! I didn’t mean to open up a can of worms with my question to you last week. But, you did answer it well here! Laughing! Thank you.

    So, I think what you have pointed out to me here is that there is a difference between role play and a scene. And your scene of choice is impact play. Because you need the authenticity, (as do we), role play is not appealing to us.

    But here is my question…….. if you’re impact playing a scene, how is that still not play? For me, I just see it as not real ……..we used to do practice this way with spanking dominance and my submission because the spanking is a kink, but when we found domestic discipline with spanking being the only form of discipline (for us), that is where we fit and that feels authentic to us.

    I am going to point out for your readers that I am not putting my own spin on everything and saying that is how everybody should do it. I don’t have all the answers, obviously, and most of them are subjective anyway.

    Hugs, Windy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i’ll be back to this, i promise Windy, just can’t do much physically atm. I just wanted you to know i’m not ignoring! i’m enjoying this conversation πŸ™‚


      1. I understand, N. No problem whatsoever. I struggle with health things, too, and am not feeling up to talking about this right now either! LOL We rock! Woo! Hoo! Hugs, Windy And, please rest and take care of yourself the best you can.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you, Windy. I remember you had mentioned it the past and as much as i’m sorry you can relate i am thankful for the understanding!!
        We do rock πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ take care of yourself as well. πŸ’š I’ll do my best here🐰


    2. Hi Windy, i wrote a new post, along the way i ended up rambling about ‘play’ and why i call it such! LoL Maybe it answers some of your questions/thoughts? Let me know …. when you are feeling up to it! I hope things are looking up in your neck of the woods. *hugs*


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