The back and forth dance.

One of the toughest parts of trying to keep this dynamic, this energy going, is the switching back and forth between life’s responsibilities and focusing on the D/s.

Sure if you are lucky enough to be at a stage in life where there is only the two (or more) of you to focus on then there really isn’t much reason to have such swinging romps! Unfortunately for me, and many of you out there i would imagine, life is just not that simple.

Moving back and forth from a work mindset to a ‘home’ mindset can be a challenge but i have found that having certain rituals in place make that much easier. It’s a transition from the busy, go go go to a more centered and focused approach to home life.

We both decided long ago that by 5:30 pm the world at large takes second place and home and immediate family become the focus. That made the D/s switch in regards to the outside world easy. There is no cell phones, no other people interrupting, it’s just me, Bear and the boys pretty much every day, every weekend.

There is where the switch has to happen for me. With the issues we have had to manage in regards to the boys and their mental health being ‘nijntje’ is not always the first thing on my mind, even after 5:30!

All of this i write elsewhere but let’s just say that dealing with these issues and managing life and circumstances that arise from them puts me squarely in the dominant seat, holding the reins and leading the way. Much of that is done from right here in my cozy den. Much of that directly involves the boys, who are also right here ……

Gets kind of hard to just put that behind and switch gears …. especially when at the end of the day i’m not asking anything from the Bear in many cases, i’m telling Him. Just minutes before we cozy up for the night. Without something to indicate a change, it can be hard to just automatically change my energy.

I think most will agree that when it comes to submission much of it isn’t about what you are doing and what you are saying (outside of kink and fun times of course!) it’s about the energy you feel while you’re in it.

I think this part takes self awareness, focus and discipline. And a lucky rabbit’s foot or two  … ! 😉

Is that just me??

7 thoughts on “The back and forth dance.

  1. I absolutely agree with you and this post really resonated with me. As a stay at home mom, I homeschool my daughter. During the day I can’t be Little and be in sub-space. But, I have a schedule where I check with my Daddy and my husband, and we “signal” when we want to shift. Sometimes I can, and sometimes I can’t. But like you, in the evenings I try to carve out time for Little Space and taking personal time to just dive deep into the submissive part of my mind. It helps greatly. Excellent post! ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  2. There is something I have done with all the ladies of my life, that makes this transition from “work life” to “home sexy life” a smooth transition. I insist on removing my lover’s shoes and I give a little massage as she tells me about her day. This has appeared to work on so many levels.

    Liked by 2 people

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