Sometimes the decision is mine, not His.

In our life Bear gets final say on everything. He listens to me, more than ever really, and He takes what i say into great consideration. Many times He agrees with me and once in a while He doesn’t but the decision is always His. Except for one …

We haven’t been able to do much kink wise lately. Time, energy, body aches, me back to work, Bear travelling …. etc. etc. i’m sure you all know the drill.

There have however been some missed opportunities for orders and tasks and i think He feels that He has dropped the ball. I guess you can see it that way, there have been things shoved aside that really could be still in place but aren’t. Me doing things or Him ‘ordering’ things done certainly changes the feel, i can’t argue that He could have.

I don’t know about you but i don’t always stay on the ball, i have lower energy times and phases. I have times when i just need to rest and recuperate. i’ve been trying to add some energy into our dynamic recently and i went ahead and did a couple of things that i know He enjoys and appreciates.

I told Him i had kind of expected a more enthusiastic response ….

His answer was that He did enjoy it and was surprised that i would take the time to do these things when He hasn’t exactly been on top of things and essentially pulling His weight, in His view. He didn’t react more because He was in shock and frankly didn’t think He deserved my submission like that right now. He didn’t feel worthy.

Like i said normally the decision is His but not this time! I said “i’m sorry but you have no right to decide this. Every other choice may be yours Sir, but this one will always be just mine.”

Sometimes dominants need encouragement too. We are back on track …. *wink*

The worst thing you can do when you feel you’ve done ‘nothing’ is to continue to do nothing …. it doesn’t make me feel vindicated, it makes me feel neglected.


4 thoughts on “Sometimes the decision is mine, not His.

  1. Yep, you said it right, “sometimes Dominants need encouragement too.” And, what you did do, shows your submission even if he didn’t feel he had earned it. That’s very important, because life… gets in the way. I was just saying earlier that the hardest thing about a full-time D/s relationship (or any relationship really) is time.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi, Nijntje! Wow, that is hard to spell, but I will get used to it soon! HA! No, I am not always on the ball. In fact, I am mostly not. My reasons are similar to yours …… health stuff…….. and yes, my guy doesn’t always follow through on his dominant stuff or even what he is supposed to be taking care of here in our home. But, we offer each other a lot of grace, he gives me tons of patience and I don’t give him much of that, but I am working on it. LOL It stinks when migraines, anxiety, other heath issues, whatever get in the way of all that we enjoy doing together both inside the bedroom and out. I’m glad you ‘re making the effort when you can where you can…….that is what I am doing, too. Hugs, Windy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LoL it is a mouthful isn’t it?? You can call me n or nij if you like, that’s what most people default to! Health/life, what have you does have a way of getting in the way of kink and D/s! I think anyone living together and sharing responsibilities outside of the dynamic can tell us that. Like you implied, all we can do is keep trying when we’re able. 🙂
      I’ve found your site, i’m enjoying the read! You have a way with words and describing situations, serious and funny! Hugs to you too my friend!


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