I’m trying, but i’m defeated.

Things have been busy and time and energy has been short. Every morning i have ideas in my head of how i can be actively submissive to Him and every evening my body or energy levels are defeated.

Bear likes the posturing, the kneeling and the waiting. It puts Him in the right mind space to then take care of my needs too. I like it as well, it’s like meditation if you will, it’s centering and calming.  He appreciates ‘humble’ as one of His favourites … it’s also very relaxing on the body. Anyone who does yoga will be familiar with the position! *smiles*


I tried last night before bed to give Him that, but my body defeated me.

I couldn’t do it on the floor because it was just too difficult on my knees and ankles. I chose instead to position myself on the bed. No lingerie either, just my pj short set that i had been wearing because it was warm again. It’s pink and has black lace, does that count? *smirk*

The position wasn’t perfect on a soft bed but it was done. I could tell by the way He touched me when He came in that He appreciated, that He knew. I think it gave Him just enough of that connection and energy to make it another night, i’ll have to ask Him. 🙂

There was no sex or kinkery, just a small moment of connection. I enjoy waiting and wishing for His touch but i admit that if He had made me wait much longer before letting me up i likely would have had to ask.

Defeated by my body? …. or maybe not at all, maybe the effort and lengths i went to to try was more than if it had been perfect.

I’ll have to ask Him that too! ❤

The rest of the night is private …. *wink*

** This post partially inspired by A.C. Elliott ** He really captures the moments of waiting for me. 🙂

4 thoughts on “I’m trying, but i’m defeated.

  1. I’m in a low moment in my heart and mind, but reading this lifted my spirits a little. I think doing our best is more important than perfection. Thanks for the smile.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that when we work from a place in our hearts like this the act of trying is the thing that matters most. ‘Perfect’ lies in the intent just as much as the execution. 🙂 I’m glad i was able to give you a smile today!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You know little bunny you sometimes write things that make me smile, some that make me think, and for someone that doesn’t write about sex you sometimes manage to make them highly sexual. The simplicity of this tale kind of hit home too. There are things I am limited by but you learn to take pleasure where you can. Thank you for sharing this ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome, kitty! *wink*
      I’m hoping to get more energy and more mobile with time but like you i’m not going to sit and mope while i wait. Enjoy every moment, big and small.
      And shhhhh! I may not write sex but i am highly sensual and sexual … just don’t let the word out, k!?!? *giggle*


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