It’s not always the what, it’s the why! And it’s always about perspective.

Just because someone is a dominant doesn’t mean that they always get it right. Sometimes they get it wrong and this weekend Bear completely misread the situation!

This post isn’t about complaining and it’s not about getting co-misery either, it’s about understanding and perspective. Just because i’m completely content in my dynamic doesn’t mean it’s perfect. It doesn’t mean that nothing ever goes wrong, it means that i’m content in spite of the fact that things DO sometimes go wrong. I’d like to share with you why/how that works for me.

Bear has done something that i really don’t like, it goes completely against my character and He may not realize, but it’s actually something i much prefer to avoid, at all costs! People-ing! And especially when the people-ing is in my regard AND as a result of a forgotten birthday!

His mom and dad are always on the ball with occasions and they have never failed to share love and affection with me. I am very lucky in this family dynamic and there isn’t a day that i don’t appreciate itΒ BUTΒ as luck would have it there has been a lot going on this year and they forgot. And i was relieved …. *sigh*

I hate being the center of attention and i would rather have less gatherings than more in my life. It’s not about the people coming it’s about me. I get exhausted having to deal with people, even the most pleasant and loving ones …. it’s just who i am. It’s not anxiety either, i’m just that much of an introvert!

Well, once Bear figured out that they had forgotten He texted them a reminder. That led to a very apologetic phone call and now a coffee and tea date, tonight!

I/We have spent the entire weekend outside getting caught up on yard work. The house hasn’t been touched and not only that it’s been made messier with the dust and dirt we brought in. My chronic issues make it that i’m very sore and exhausted today and now i have a house to clean.

I’ve had work a few hours this morning and i have a couple more hours of scheduled work this afternoon. The house needs to be cleaned, dinner prepared and my kids run around town here and there ….. Somehow i’m going to be ready for visitors tonight …. OYE!

I could be totally b*tchy about it, i could be p*ssed that i’m in this situation and that He didn’t give me any thought. It would be one valid course of thinking i suppose, but i’m not. I know He didn’t do it because He wasn’t thinking of me, He did it because He was. He wanted to make sure i was seen and appreciated on my dayΒ and i know that. He also knows that His parents would feel just awful if they did somehow miss it entirely and He was looking out for that as well.

I get it ….. i just don’t like. I have told Him how i feel and why. Now it’s time to get my bunny butt in gear, because i have company coming tonight and i still have lots to do!!

It’s not the what, it’s the why …. and what perspective i choose to follow!

Hopefully i can get rewarded with a short flogging session later tonight, to ease my aching body!

16 thoughts on “It’s not always the what, it’s the why! And it’s always about perspective.

    1. LoL We would be quite the pair!! Me in my braces and she in her chair! Unstoppable …. πŸ˜›

      It’s so nice to hear from you my friend. I hope kitten is as well and as chipper as her posts! You have been greatly missed, be well and send her my love! ❀

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      1. Hey Nijntje I am my chipper self. Had a mass of doubt attack me in the past week but I am over it now. I am not comparing they way I am to the way you are but both of us have been impacted by physical problems. I know when I am tired I am completely spent, usually after a long trip in my chair. I want to go to bed and curl up in my nest. The thought of being ‘On.’ for visitors is far from my mind. I know Bear was being totally sweet but I so understand your lack of energy.
        Love you Nijntje, ❀ ❀ ❀

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks kitten, it turned out just fine, it always does. I wish i could say today was calmer but i have some running around to do and some hours of work in the morning and afternoon again. i AM looking forward to a very calm and quiet night …. i hope!
        It’s wonderful to hear from you, i know it can’t be easy to stay positive and chipper all the time but if anyone has a shot, well i’d say that would be you! ❀

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  1. N,
    Oh gosh……. I am not very people-y either and my husband is even more so. I do much better behind a computer screen. And I do the best ever, under his paddle! HA! Sorry you have to clean the whole dang house just to have tea and a visit that you appreciate, but that just makes you want to take a nap. Drink decaf if you want to appear very tired! Hope you get that flogging as a nice desert though! Hugs, Windy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh goodness Windy, i just realized that i missed your comment!!! I’m so sorry, it’s been one of those weeks! :/
      It all worked out, as it always does and i’m finally getting some sense back into the ole noggin’! LoL Hope you’re well! πŸ™‚

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  2. I’ve always had the (potentially) unpopular opinion that on a person’s birthday they get to celebrate it as they wish. So when I hear you’d rather less attention, i’d be of the mind to keep it celebrated with your immediate family, and leave the rest to phone calls, cards, etc. A person’s birthday is about *them* not the people around them. Their feelings come before others when it comes to stuff like this.

    Honestly i’m an introvert myself, so I get where you’re coming from. I’ve made it well known with family and loved ones how I handle “my day.” Thankfully they respect it.

    I hope you get everything done before tonight and have a nice visit with them. I also hope you can end the evening with the sort of reward you’re hoping for.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, sheldonbunny, i know they would respect my wishes if they knew! LoL It’s been 25 yrs give or take and i don’t think anyone knows just how introverted i am, well besides Bear.
      i’m very good at adapting and i really do function quite well in the ‘real world’ i just normally don’t plan to do that when i’ve already physically exhausted myself.
      Honestly most people who ‘know’ me would think i am very extroverted, i generally leave the party making sure everyone wants more of my time and attention … but that’s by design. It’s hard to explain without writing you a book but it’s part of my very unusual personality. *smiles*

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well from what little I get to see, I enjoy your personality. Feel free to call me Sheldon, Shelly, or Bunny. The full screen name is a mouthful. *smiles back*

        Through the years i’ve become almost an extrovert. I’m a very social person, albeit moreso online still than in person. Compared to how I was in my youth though, it’s day or night. It’s only in the last year i’ve regressed back to almost full introvert with how easily overwhelmed I can get socially. I still can pull off appearing social, but it’s more habit than being at ease like before.

        It’s part of what my partner and I are working on. Getting me not only physically well (long story), but emotionally and mentally. It’s about a month into recovering and the trauma isn’t quite as vibrant as it was. just the slow process of feeling more myself again.

        But enough about me. (prone to writing novels when left to babble)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It is a mouthful, Shelly! lol This should be much easier going forward! πŸ˜‰

        I think introvert and extrovert do live on a sliding scale, depending on life experience and circumstance it does change in intensity, or so i believe. I find i do enjoy social interactions now (never as a child, i was painfully shy, some of that due to abuse i’m sure) but i don’t need many or very often to have my fill. Like 2 or 3 a year on a ‘good’ year! This year none has been enough! LoL

        I know that living ‘inside my head’ is probably not the most healthy lifestyle but it is my preferred one, i have learned to change that somewhat over the years mostly through watching the Bear and learning that there is value in connections but that is not a natural state for me. Couple that with my introverted tendencies and it becomes exhausting even if it isn’t difficult, it’s still ‘work’ for me.

        I’m INTJ-A if you want a pretty reasonable summary, and i’d love to know what you are if you know and would like to share! And PLEASE babble away!! i don’t know if i’m not interesting or not relevant but i never seem to get much by way of interaction on here! πŸ˜› LoL Ironically here i wouldn’t mind at all! *chuckle*

        I’m saddened to hear about your trials and trauma …. i really do hope you are on your way back to health! In both forms …. i write a bit about my experiences with mental health issues as well, i know how exhausting that can be as well! ❀

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I was your classic wallflower as a child. I was even too afraid of show and tell, public speaking class, and so on. It took my ex fiance, father to my daughter, to help me pull me out of it. We may not have worked out, but I have a beautiful, healthy (now graduated!) child as well as a much needed spine thanks to him.

        Living in my head is very much my default. Due to depression, anxiety, and mental illness, it has its drawbacks. Some days it’s perfectly fine, others I need people to keep me out of there so i’m not caught in a cycle.

        My memory is about at goldfish level lately, so going off of old bookmarks, I think i’m INFJ. I’d have to retake it to be sure, but it definitely sounds almost exactly like me.

        I find you very interesting and relevant. Perhaps others just want to impose on your time. I know I struggle at times between the balance of sharing and over sharing with new people. I’m an open book, so to be i’ll talk about almost anything in my life, even with strangers if the mood hits.

        I hope i’m recovering too. It was pretty dark days for me, but in it’s odd way I think it gave me the fire I needed back in me to fight for everything I am and believe in. Sometimes I think we need to lose battles to win the war, so to speak. Just never had quite that close call before. *smiles brightly* But i’m still here and I want to make the most of it. Including talking to people I find worth my time, and learning and exploring life and ideas more than ever.

        As long as you keep writing, even if I don’t comment all the time, you’ll have my attention. I honestly enjoy what you have to say. You helped me learn more about myself and i’ll forever be thankful about that.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I’ve been thinking on how to answer this most thoughtful and wonderful comment and so i’ve taken my time. There are many things you have said and then again many things left unsaid me thinks ….

        I appreciate you sharing with me and although i have no blog to read i do always appreciate and enjoy our interactions on here. I’m not sure exactly what dark cloud it is that follows you Shelly but i have a few guesses.

        I’ve been down to the depths and i’ve faught my way back up, you do notice and appreciate things more and yes sometimes it does give us the fire we need to just … keep … moving …. that’s the dragon/warrior part of me and i’d not change it for the world. It has made me who i am and i’m proud of that person.

        I hope you are/or can get there too! Be well my friend πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  3. OMG I forgot to say Happy Belated Birthday. I am now giving myself a stern dressing down. Hehehehehe doesn’t look crazy at all, me sat down mumbling under my breath. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE BUNNY!!!!
    kitten ❀ ❀ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

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