I’ve been busy …

Sorry for being away so much, to anyone that might notice, i have found myself very busy even though i’m actually on holiday! Go figure …

I’ve written many a post, in my head, and then moved on to the next thought, and next, and next …. long before anything could be put down on paper!!  The result is i finally have a moment to write and no idea what i have yet to talk about! LOL

Anyway! I have wanted to talk about one of our new toys, the fur flogger. If you recall, i was a bit worried that the fur would be much to ticklish for me and that it would end up on the hard limits pile because tickling is a hard limit for me.

Well …… it ends up that this flogger we have has just enough external leather tails to make it the furthest thing from tickle-y!

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That image is distorted enough that Bear says i can share it! *wink* You can actually see the amount of black, leather tails that are in between the furry ones. It makes for a nice weight to swing with (yes i do know how to handle one as well as enjoy!) and allows placement and strength to be fairly easily controlled.

I was honestly thinking it was going to be more of a sensual toy than an impact one based on how it looks but the truth is that this sucker packs a punch, when used correctly it can do both sensual and impact play and transition rather nicely.

The flogger is nicely made and the bonus is that it didn’t even break the bank!

Seems this rabbit is into fur after all! *raspberries*

Submission in marriage, less of a commitment?

I ran across this thought and i wanted to address it here, from my point of view. Now it’s not and was not meant as a criticism to any one or any dynamic so i don’t want anyone to look at it that way, simply a question in hopes of understanding.

I believe the idea was that since you will always have the marriage to fall back on the domination and submission is more ‘play’ than real. In the life of those who chose to just be ‘owned’ by a Master or a Mistress with no other ties, is their submission more complete, more real? If the dynamic stops the relationship stops …. or so is the thought.

I can’t speak for everyone only myself of course but i imagine this really does depend on the person and just how far they are willing to go into the dynamic in the first place.

I would imagine that most couples, even married ones who get into this lifestyle do so in hopes of exploring all avenues of depth and emotion. Most of the ones i have been lucky to know have. That said, i personally don’t think many of us could turn back the clock without noticing a very big loss. Especially if you were lucky enough to find your rhythm, your balance, and enjoy the spoils of your labour for a while.

***Now this is just me, so don’t go getting your tail feather in a knot here …. ***

Personally i have always said, even before D/s, that should anything happen to the Bear, i would NEVER look for another relationship, another commitment. I’ve always joked that any sexual urges would be managed by whomever i fancied that day … and

**shhh, no, i don’t want to know your name, and no i don’t want your number ..**

Now, it seems that would fit quite nicely into a dynamic that is D/s or M/s only and nothing more. (don’t get offended, this is my view for my life) I don’t need ‘love’ in order to play around with BDSM and have sex, i really don’t. Once the ‘ownership’ ran it’s course you simply move on to where your new needs can be met.

No paper work, no kids to worry about, no family ties to complicate things. No joint bank accounts or mortgages etc.  And most importantly, no loss of love or marital commitment and all the comes with that.

As to marriage, for myself getting into a deeper area of ourselves and our connection like we have explored with this is not something you can simply tuck away and carry on from without some major side effects. I can’t just move on to the next adventure that will fulfill my needs and help to ease the loss of the first.

Getting into this inside my marriage to me is a bigger commitment than doing so outside of marriage. The repercussions of changing my mind are greater and therefore deserve more serious thought.

Losing a master is one thing, losing a Master, husband, life partner, best friend and father of my children ….. i’ll let you figure that out.

For some of us who get into this deep enough i believe that once you’ve opened pandora’s box you can never really go back. Not without feeling a huge loss.

 

 

‘Dynamic’ is in the eye of the beholder.

*** The term ‘sex slave’ here refers to someone who has not only consented but sought out this lifestyle. Although they live under a certain contract of sexual slavery they can leave at any time. This post is in no way meant to promote abuse or true slavery. It’s just kink. ***

You’ve heard of beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? The idea that you see what you wish to see, what’s beautiful to one may not be what’s beautiful to another and we all bring our own energy and perspective when it comes to deciding what is and what isn’t beautiful.

I believe that dynamic or vanilla can also fall under that same umbrella of thoughts, especially in a 24/7 relationship where you share more than just kink and play time together. In my case, a marriage.

I’ve been following along on a story of a full time ‘sex slave’, basically living the story book version of what many of us dream about, strive for, in our own marriages. Maybe not the exact content, but the idea that we can be M/s or D/s 24/7 without interruption.

Now, although i do tend to skip over anything that is erotica or sexually explicit for my own reasons, i have read some of her posts and do you know what i have found? Exactly what i have been surmising since the beginning. Submission and that feeling of being submissive and controlled in many instances comes from within. It’s a choice …

Many of the situations i have read from this person are not much different than mine. Not much different than the majority of the things i read from most bloggers i follow. The truth is the thing that changes the situation from vanilla to submissive is simply the twist she puts on it.

Now i’m not saying there aren’t any physical things being done that very much fall into the BDSM or D/s category, what i’m saying is that even in this ‘perfect’ setup much of the day is spent just like the rest of us. You know, with things to do, people to see and places  we would rather avoid but have no choice to be at. She is a 24/7 sex slave and still has all those same things going on in her day. She simply chooses to tap into her slave energy as she goes through them.

Many of the sexual encounters i have read are also very simple, the energy of being controlled or owned comes very much from her as well as her partner. It’s not solely what the Master or Mistress are doing, it’s also very much the story she is playing inside her head.

So as for me, i’m going to keep on the same path i chose to walk some time ago. If i’m not feeling overly submissive for some reason than i am going to look within. I’m going to speak my needs and wants (just as she does BTW) and i’m going to tap into my submission. I’m going to let Him know what i’m feeling and i’m going to just simply be, in the moment ….

It seems a vanilla encounter can become a D/s one if you simply put your mind to it! *wink*

I’m not saying give up on all the ‘bells and whistles’, oh no! Just enjoy the more simple times, who said they can’t be done in the spirit of D/s as well??

My mission in submission.

I think for me i need a mission in order to do this thing right. For me, this is how my submission works in a real sense, in the real world. The married with responsibilities world that doesn’t allow for kink and play every moment of the day.

I have always liked this song, there was something about it that i understood. Now i know what.

I want to be the one He dreams of, standing there, understanding everything about Him. His dreams, even the ones He thought He had to give up on or put away. I want to understand what makes Him tick, and then i want to do everything in my power to offer it to Him in any way i can.

It’s not always about kneeling or wearing collars, not here anyway, it goes much further than that. ❤

Tom Cochrane & Red Rider Lyrics

“Boy Inside The Man”

So long, so long, so long, he's been away
So long, so long, so long, he's back again

When I turned seventeen
We had passion, we had dreams
Thought the love we were fighting for
Was something holy, something more

When I turned twenty-one
We were outside on the run
When I walked out with my girl, hey
We went halfway around the world, around the world and that

I dreamed that I saw her standing there
They're running for the boy inside the man
I was hit hard by the light so bright it burned
And all at once I knew she'd understand (understand, understand)
Boy inside the man
The boy inside the man
When I turned twenty-five
We were hungry, we had drive
When I turned much older then
Ah 'cause the boy was lost in pride

Now I just turned thirty-one
And I have lost and I have won
Still I've kept my dreams alive
Ah 'cause the boy will never die, never die

And that I dreamed that I saw her standing there
They're running for the boy inside the man
I was hit hard by the light so bright it burned
And all at once I knew she'd understand (understand, understand)
The boy inside the man
The boy inside the man

Ah do you understand?

And that I dreamed that I saw her standing there
They're running for the boy inside the man
I was hit hard by the light so bright, it burned
And all at once I knew she'd understand (understand, understand)

And that I dreamed that I saw her standing there
They're running for the boy inside the man
I was hit hard by the light so bright, it burned
And all at once I knew she'd understand (understand, understand)

Boy inside the man (hit hard by the light so bright)
The boy inside the man (hit hard by the light so bright)
The boy inside the man (hit hard by the light so bright)
Boy inside the man yeah (hit hard by the light so bright)
The boy inside the man (hit hard by the light so bright)

So long, so long, so long, he's been away
So long, so long, so long, he's back again
So long, so long, so long, he's been away
So long, so long, so long, he's back again

Hey, let it, let it, hey
Hey, let it, let it be, let it be

Boy inside the man
Ah let it be, let it be

So long, so long, so long, you been away
So long, back again
So long, so long, so long, you been away
So long, so long, so long, you're back again 

Sister cool this face
As if it's carved in stone
Don't leave me in this place
Like a boy without a home
Like a boy without a home