Spring has things growing and looking fresh. Seems spring has brought the Bear out of hibernation as well!!
Like many of us, the person who wanted to start a D/s connection in our marriage was me. Bear was interested and has been learning along the way but it has mostly felt like i was the one pushing forward.
Just a little aside here, when it comes to home and life and being my rock, the Bear has always been there. It has never been necessary to learn and work on those areas because those He does very naturally. I have had the weight of the world on my shoulders in one way or another since the day we met, He has always been the one who helps me carry it. Kink and sex however …. that’s where i needed a change.
When life gives me a minute to breathe, i like to add some kink and domination to help give my mind, and body, a break. I’ve mentioned before that i have many ‘slave’ (in a kinky D/s context) like qualities so tapping into that mindset with rules and orders really helps me to let go and relax. I know it sounds backwards doesn’t it? Being enslaved and ordered about makes me free … *chuckle*
When i tap into that mindset that everything is about Him, His orders and nothing is about me it also means that i can let go of the responsibilities of life. I can’t be there forever, that wouldn’t be fair. We got into this life together, we brought children into our world and all the other things like a home, pets, work etc. We did this together relying on BOTH of our abilities and strength, to check out now and make Him soley responsible would be unfair and irresponsible to me. Remember, i fall very much on the dominant side of things when it comes to life and all things NOT kinky. That would be why we chose D/s and not M/s.
Anyhow, back to the reason i started this post ….
Bear seems to have awaken from hibernation! He is making comments and giving orders without any nudge from me. He is tapping into my slave side and into the things HE wants to see. It’s feeling more and more natural and most importantly to me, like it’s His and His alone! *grin
He has always felt that unless He could put on a huge production it wasn’t going to work and He best just stay away from it. He sees now that the smallest of things done on a regular basis can carry this feeling and special connection a long way. It gives me a break that i so desperately need at times. And now it really does feel like i’m just obeying Him, not something He’s doing because i wanted Him to.
Yes i know it’s only BDSM and sex but with all the stress in life it’s a real privilege to have something you can tap into to help ease the responsibility of the everyday. I’ve said before BDSM is my brain vacation, it allows me to keep being strong and moving mountains for those who rely on ME to be their rock.
Bear has carried this family of ours in many respects since the beginning, now He’s carrying my sex life and part of my mental well-being as well. Now … i need to work on my ‘sexy’, He told me to do a few things ‘sexy’ for Him over the weekend and i’m afraid i’m a bit rusty!! 😛
***** ***** *****
Sorry Bear! I will strive to do better. Thank you for all your efforts, you have most definitely figured out how to play your ***** ! *wink*
Love You, Sir! ❤