Every time i write about this it really makes me laugh. Why? Well because when we were first searching out a network to learn and communicate with we ran into one such site that was less than helpful.
It was okay if you were interested in sex, and sex, and pics and more sex …. there was certainly plenty of inspiration that way but we were looking for something more than just the sex.
I (mostly, since Bear never did like being on the PC much) was hoping to find a more well rounded approach, where we could talk about and consider all aspects of life, and yes D/s as well. Let’s face it, if you live 24/7 365 there are bound (sorry! *giggle*) to be many times when other things take precedence and kneeling or kinking it up are just not the things keeping your D/s together. Or so we think anyway ….
Anyhow, i did manage a few conversations with a few ladies and a gentleman that were much more in depth BUT i was told very firmly that ‘menopause has nothing to do with D/s’ and so shall never be brought up again! LoL
Yeah …. right! *chuckle*
I’ve written of it a few times, and now things seem to be ramping up for me again so i am writing again. If this MenoBeast wants to be done any time now would be awesome …. but alas!
It’s not just about your cycle when it comes to peri-menopause, it’s also about a very large variety of other symptoms. I’m not going into all of them now, they are just too many to go through but i will tell you the most obvious plaguing me at the moment that has EVERYTHING to do with my D/s! 😛
Breast tenderness!! I don’t know about you all but for us that’s a pretty big part of Bear’s play area! *wink*
Right now they feel and are swollen, heavy and painful. The thing I lose first chance i get after work is normally my bra …. not so much right now! They hurt like h3ll! They feel like boulders trying to rip their way out of my skin. Yeah Bear might think the extra size is pretty cool right now but it comes with a high price.
In the shower it feels like i’m being flogged with a very fine tailed, sharp metal tipped flogger. This might sound interesting i admit, at least to me, but with no ‘warm up’?? Ummm, NO!
You want me to lay on my belly?? Ummm, no thank you …
You want me on my back? Ummmm, still ouch! No thank you ….
You want to do what?? and bounce me around this way and that?? Ummm, still no thank you …
Pins, clamps, wheels … etc., etc., etc., …. no matter what move or position i’m afraid they come with … and aside from a heavy duty bra, which barely keeps things manageable, nothing helps right now.
Any of you moms who have ever nursed and became engorged, yeah that, now you know what i’m talking about. But there is no milk to ‘let down’ and be gone! UGH
Sure, He can technically do whatever He likes, I have already given Him that right but it doesn’t seem to excite Him much when i’m screaming out and real, non-sexual pain! For some reason that doesn’t have the same affect, go figure.
So, i’m going to say that yes, it does in fact affect my D/s right now, especially the sexual aspect of it. I’m not exactly feeling overly sexy or sexual and anything asked of me is certainly going to come from a different mindset than the preferred one.
It would have been nice to find a community of other women also trying to be ‘sexy submissives’ and deal with this too, to commiserate with. If this isn’t something worthy of working through in order to maintain a good and happy mindset and dynamic than i don’t know what is.
Peri-menopause is a roller coaster ride physically and mentally. Things come and go on a moments notice and unwanted pain is just the tip of the iceberg. And it’s been almost 10 years in the making for me so far. Anytime now mother nature ….
Oh, He’s also opt’d to remove my night time leather collar for now. The leather around my neck combined with night sweats was making it so i didn’t get much sleep. I was constantly waking up drenched! Just removing the leather strap from around my neck has brought my temperature down just enough that I can sleep, sort of, when i’m not rolling onto this sore bit or that!
*chuckle* No, nope, i’m sure none of this would have anything to do with anyone’s relationship …. D/s or not!