That’s pretty much all i have to say. My kinky life has flat-lined and my kinky needs are not being met.
The only time we had for impact play of any sort was during the Walking Dead series. The boys would go to Gramma’s house for the hour and we would finally be alone.
The season is short and it did finally start back up a month or so ago. We got one night …. one night so far since last fall that the opportunity arose.
Since then the boys and Gramma have decided that they are no longer interested. The story has lost its appeal. Now we get no time …
When we don’t get to play around with impact everything else seems to wain as well. I don’t remember that last time we did anything really kinky, no bondage, no pushing limits, nothing …
I can’t really remember the last time i had a full filling encounter honestly. There was once this year, i’m sure …. that might be it since last fall.
I’m finding it harder and harder to get turned on and harder to reach orgasm. It always happens this way for me, I wrote about it when i wrote about chastity. It does not work well for me!
I’m not really interested in starting anything these days, i have no real interest in going the extra mile to show Him submission physically like He likes. Like He needs in order to keep His fire going. I know He does but i just haven’t got the motivation to even try.
As a result I have been topping Him ….. Yup, I’m afraid so!
When He tries to implement something kinky/dominant (like the panty ritual) i come up with reasons why we shouldn’t. I know He takes everything i say into consideration and i can be very persuasive. I also know that He’s not one to come up with alternatives, i normally have to think something up when i have a real issue, and then He will think on it and make it happen or tweak it. Otherwise , it just gets pushed aside ….
I’m not getting my kink on.
I’m not feeling very submissive.
I have a naturally dominant personality anyway ….
He’s letting me take over, but I KNOW He is not happy when that happen.
My kink has flat-lined, He’s not taking control of that and so i’m taking control of everything else.
My body is tired …
My brain is tired ….
My soul is tired …..
I know it’s the wrong thing to do, i know i’m only sabotaging His dominance ….
At the moment I haven’t got anything left in me to bother.
TGIF my friends!