…. a bit early perhaps!
Every time i sit to write this happens:
writing writing writing …. that’s all that comes to my head … writing writing writing! No more … so this will be a bit of a jumble!
Monday will be here soon and with that so is back to school and back to work. The cubs will need teaching and protecting once more. I’ve often referred to us as a wolf pack and something about winter brings that back full circle, again,
Maybe it’s that i sit and watch the documentaries on tv, they always remind me of just how much my life and inner circle revolves around basic primal needs. That’s how i run my life, my family, it has never been anything more than that.
It clashes greatly with everything i see and read about the dynamic, about D/s, but there it is. Like the alpha female of the pack i have many responsibilities. I run the pack in many ways and show leadership and self-reliance without that taking away from my place ‘under’ Him.
He is bigger and stronger than me but i most certainly pull my own weight and have my own following. It’s just a simple way of life, a hierarchy.
I show Him I’m His every so often and then i go about the rest of my business.
My place in the pack is too important to do it any other way, and if i wasn’t as strong as i am he wouldn’t have picked me to be by His side anyway. *shrug*
The wolf is my spirit animal, i tap into that whenever i need, i need it now. The new year brings new challenges and new adventures.
The ‘break’ has been less than exciting, not much happening outside of a few family get togethers, that’s fine with me. Not sure if The Bear has missed out on some social time because of it but if He has He hasn’t mentioned it.
There hasn’t been much in regards to ‘play’ but then i haven’t exactly been setting off those ‘vibes’ either. It sets Him into a strange place, i can tell. He just seems a bit ‘off’, distant?, ‘in His head’ …. perhaps that’s the term. He starts looking for ways to fill the time, make busy as they say.
I think we have tapped into something that He didn’t know He needed, quite so badly. That’s the danger of this thing we do isn’t it? Once you get into it you might not be able to get back out.
The first week off was between Christmas and New Years and the second saw me starting my cycle. That’s not normally a time we play because my physical issues that stem from that right now are just too severe. Throw in a cold ‘bug’ and the fact that i need to chase the youngest around all day to get him caught up on his schooling before it starts again ….. and the two weeks are practically over! (His meds seem to be working and he seems much better at getting things done and having the energy, both emotionally and physically now that we changed things around, to get the job done BUT that means we have a lot of catch up from the time before … )
I seem to be back to ‘rights’ ATM and the weekend is upon us, let’s hope for a bit of time to reconnect before it all gets back into full swing! I could use some serious time away from the ‘trials’ of life and out of my head but i’m not sure just how far we can get. I’m not sure how much time we can sneak away before someone comes calling or someone needs something.
Like i said, perhaps emerging a bit TOO early!
Having young adult children was supposed to afford me a bit more time, not less.
When we were young and alone our sex life was very primal. We might not have used toys and chains but the tone was most certainly set. He has always been adventurous and I have always been animalistic. In the moment and unabashed ….
Sometimes, in these quiet moments, i feel the hunger to have that back with the addition of the most intense and freeing froms of our BDSM. We have tasted it, we have seen the power and the seduction.
For now we wait …… and the hunger grows.