The beginning and the end.

I’m finding myself in a strange cycle, I’m wondering if anyone else has had this before?

At the beginning of my day I find that my mind is on me, the Bear and being His and with Him. In all ways … a ‘submissive’ mindset i suppose you could say for ease of understanding.

As the day progresses I find my attention needs to be split between everyday responsibilities AND being His. No real surprise there I don’t think, life does carry on after all. No secret mansion yet! *wink*

By the end of the day however, once things are settled, work is done and supper very well enjoyed … I’ve lost it!

I’m not rebelling or acting up in any way. I’m not *not* His but I’m just not so emotionally attached to the ideas and wants of the morning hours.

In the morning i have plenty of ideas and urges that i want to ask about or try, by evening my enthusiasm has vanished.

I feel like i’m stuck in a cycle of ‘maybe tomorrow’ …..

The weekends are great because Bear is here during the morning hours, and we have made the best of them whenever we can …. but the ‘cycle’ i’m in makes for a long work week.

Since we’ve been getting back into the swing of things now that the boys have settled a bit i think i’m noticing the weekday evening cycle more. I think this weekday lack of energy is starting to wear on me over all, it’s dragging me down.

Before we used to sneak outside to play and have some impact during the weekdays when we could but my raynaud’s has become so bad that there is no way i can get outside in this weather, no matter how many heaters the Bear sets up in the garage! UGH Honestly my body is so cold on a daily basis i’m not even sure much impact could be done without extreme pain and damage to the skin anyway.

For those who don’t know, raynaud’s can affect BOTH sets of cheeks, and mine does!

*light bulb* Time to change the decor … time to put away ‘fall’ and bring out ‘winter’ with all its furry pillows and warm heavy blankets …. warm up a bit under a blanket and bring my body temperature back up to ‘normal’ slowly. Maybe then i will have the energy AND opportunity to play a bit.

It’s worth a try. If you can’t beat it, join it! WINTER here i come ….

A little inspiration!

A big day for my U.S. friends today.

I’ve always had a great imagination, I hope you do too.

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man


(from “Imagine: John Lennon” soundtrack)

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today… Aha-ah…

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace… You…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world… You…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

Not a D/s post

Our relationship to us is much more important than D/s. Some people would argue that D/s couples are closer than non-D/s couples and I personally have never found that to be true here.

Just like every D/s couple/relationship is different, so too are all the others. I have never liked blanket statements and I still don’t like it here.

We may not have talked about power exchanges and kink but we did talk about everything else. We both knew likes and dislikes of the other and we both tried to be our best for the other. That has never changed. We discovered each others strengths and weaknesses as we grew together in this relationship and we divided things up accordingly, to work out the best for ‘us’. It wasn’t him or me, it was and always has been us.

We ended up here in D/s land for a few reasons and yes things did get a bit difficult for a short while but even D/s relationships change and experience growing pains. We got to the point that it was time to renegotiate needs and wants because we were growing and evolving as people. So we did …..

I wanted to explore the world of kink and he was uncertain but for me, he’d try. We had always been adventurous but I wanted more. Needless to say ‘the rest is history’!

I also needed him to step back in and shoulder some of the responsibility that is our life, and so he did. Things were changing, boys were growing and my physical and mental state needed attention too, so we assessed and made changes. Doesn’t that sound familiar to you?

I think that when you believe you are ‘better’ than someone else, in any respect, you are on a slippery slope.

I was going to tell you all a cute story about fabric softener, humm, somehow the first sentence change the entire post! *shrug* Happy Saturday!